Here’s a little story for you.
In May of 1986 I was a junior in college. Hubby and I had been dating a while. College was two hours away from his place. I was there every weekend. We had dated long enough that we had planned that we’d get married the summer after I finished college.
Well I ended up pregnant. We were using birth control. Anyone remember “THE SPONGE”. At the time is was the new form of birth control. Well there is a reason that you don’t hear of it much anymore….it didn’t work! I ended up pregnant while using it. (I did look it up on the internet and it’s still available) Back then I think it was 90% effective. Back then I believed I’d never be the 10%. Now I know better.
Anyway. I knew I was pregnant and mid week, I decided to drive to Hubby’s place to tell him the news. When I got there he was home battling the lawn mower. The lawn desperately needed to be mowed and I interrupted him. He came in a we talked.
We went from eloping to, a small wedding to a regular wedding. He didn’t really take it all the best. He didn’t profess his undying love. He didn’t wrap me in his arms and tell me everything would be okay. He didn’t drop to one knee and propose. He really didn’t say much of anything. At the time I was young. Yes we knew each other but we didn’t KNOW each other like we did now.
We sat there silent. Then he got up and went and mowed the lawn. I was so mad. He just left me sitting there. He didn’t say a thing, just got up and left. I wanted a plan. I wanted action. I wanted a date if we were going to get married.
I was a ticked that none of the imagined things happened. He left me to MOW LAWN.
When the lawn was finally mowed I had stewed enough….I was so ticked that I even said I was fine to go and raise the baby (Kelli) myself. He stopped his silence and said -no he wanted to get married.
Over the years I’ve teased him a million times about this. Who leaves someone and just goes and mows the lawn. Hubby does. It’s his thinking time. It’s his chance to think through the few options and pick one. It’s his quiet time to access. I know that now….33 years later.
So driving home from the doctor three weeks ago after we found out that he likely has lung cancer, I was full of questions. He was kind of quiet. I finally asked him what he thought. His answer, “I wish I could just go mow lawn.” I knew exactly what he meant. Sadly, in Iowa…there’s no lawn to mow this time of year.
Later that night I did some things around the house and then went up to sew. There was nothing more I could do that might be helpful and I needed to get away from it for a second and feel “normal”. A half hour or so later Hubby came up for bed. I went into the bedroom and apologized for ditching him and sewing instead. He said, “That’s how you mow lawn. It’s all okay.”
He’s right. I do sew for therapy. I’m so thankful we have all these years behind us and we both know each other so well. Over these next months, I think we’re going to get to know each other a lot better.