What I’m Working On…

Wow.

I’m working on a lot of things…
-garden
-landscaping
-visiting
-painting
-finding the house in the mess
-finding the sewing room specifically
-garage sale

What a list!

I did sneak in a little stitching time but not much.  I started this one….


I sat one night for about a half hour….It’s small so it should go quick if I only sit and take the time to do it.

I worked on this one too.  It’s the next Sheep Virtue.  The word for this one is “Patience”.  I started this one when Kramer was still alive.  It was while he was in the hospital that last time.  I finished the outside blue of the border and did the white.


At the time I started I thought the word “Patience” applied to me and I needed to be a little more “patient” with Kramer.  He had gotten a little more needy and at times I needed to remember to be patient.  I didn’t know then that the word “patience” was likely more for me reminding me that I need to be patient with myself.  I know that now…but onto the other things on the list.

A friend of mine was shocked when she heard I was thinking about a garage sale.  I am.  We have been thinking about it since March.

Over the past three months Kramer, Kalissa and I were all talking about having a garage sale.  I started sorting and tagging stuff.  We were gearing up for a HUGE garage sale like we had last fall….

Then something would happen.  Kramer would have a set back.  We’d end up in the hospital so the date would get reset.  Then Kramer would have a set back, we’d end up in the hospital and the date would get reset AGAIN.  It was a continuous problem.  Kramer so wanted to have a garage sale.  I did too.  Kalissa did too.  So to many having a garage sale may seem soon.  To Kalissa and I we feel more like we are carrying out Kramer’s wish.

Even though he was sick, I still went to one auction and we would stop at garage sales or thrift stores on the way to appointments buying things we planned on selling later at the antique booth or at our epic garage sale.

So…Kalissa and I have chatted and chatted.  I have this week off from childcare.  It’s the week to have the sale.  I need space. I can work on it as there are not kids here.  The majority of what is being sold is all things that we had planned to sell.  There are only a few exceptions and I’ve talked to the kids about those things….the lawn equipment.

Right now we have a snowblower that I can’t run.  We have a tiller that I can’t run.  We have a leaf blower and a weed eater that I can’t start.  With my shoulder I can’t pull the string to start them.  As of now, they are useless to me.  They use gas that needs to be mixed.  It’s all stuff that my 53 year old girl brain and body doesn’t want to deal with.

I started thinking about the equipment back when Kramer broke his neck.  I even started talking to him about selling them and getting something that was more user friendly for me.   At the time he understood my concern but thought he would get to a point where he could operate them again…so we did nothing.  Now I feel like he’d be okay with my selling the stuff and getting sometime I can use.

I do not want to be a burden to the kids and having equipment I can operate myself is one way to prevent that.  So…I’m selling the equipment we have.  I’m buying equipment I can use.  I don’t think that’s rash.  I think it’s practical.

..and that’s what I’ll be doing this week in between other stuff.

41 thoughts on “What I’m Working On…

  1. Sheri

    You need to do what is best for you. I was happy to see your quilt in the new American Patchwork magazine.

  2. LaNan Eldridge

    It’s one baby step at a time. You have to do what’s best for you and it sounds like that’s what you are doing. Remember to allow time for you also. Hugs to you.

  3. Candi

    Good plan. Get the things you can use and operate. I’m sure if you don’t feel like doing it the kids will step up, but having it for you to use is just smart.

    Love the items you are working on. Amazing how much you can accomplish in a few minutes.

    Sending love, hugs and prayers.

  4. Lolazo

    You remind me of my sister when her husband died. She sold the house while Jack was hospitalized, packed up the house, put everything in storage, bought a new town house with closing the day before he died. Then she bought new carpeting and appliances then had everything delivered. She unpacked and sorted thru everything they had accumulated the last 30 years while collecting photos and creating a slide show of Jacks life for the memorial service 6 weeks after he died. The both of you are like the Energizer Bunny. You will have your sad moments and that is okay. The most important thing is for you to be you, doing it your way. May God continue to bless you in this new chapter of your life.

  5. Donna Pheneger

    A smart plan and I think Kramer would approve. :-) He’d want you to be more comfortable with the equipment you need to use.
    Naysayers? Nah – ignore them – YOU do what’s best for you and your family.
    Good luck with your sale.
    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

  6. Janet Beyea

    It sounds like you have a great plan. You need to do what feels right for you. I can well understand your need to get some control back in your life and this sounds like a good way to help that.

  7. Becky

    When my husband passed away in January, I started making lists of things we discussed and never got done, which kept me busy and sane. Of course I had lots telling me a I didn’t have to be in a hurry to do everything, but I told them I had to, they just didn’t understand. Hopefully one day they won’t! Do what you want and feel like doing when ya want to and don’t worry about what others say. It has kept me sane and I still have lists..

  8. Joyce

    Anyone who follows your blog knows “the grass doesn’t grow under your feet”!! It all sounds very practical and logical to me. I’m having a garage sale this week also!!

  9. Kim J LeMere

    I think having the sale would be very helpful, doing something you planned together, getting more family time together etc….one day at a time Jo, its not easy but its forward motion. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

  10. Carol Lorraine Stearns

    At this time, you need to do for you! And I know Kramer would approve of a garage sale! Good luck with it.

  11. Robby

    Seems like a very practical plan. If you get to feeling like any of the decisions are too emotional,well, those things can go in a later sale. Meanwhile, do what feels right for you and your family. Good luck with the sale, too.

  12. Linda L

    You are so on the right track I needed to take over the outside tasks when ,y husband passed away. I just got a new weed eater that is battery powered. I learn how to use the zero turn mower from the neighbor. I pay the neighbor to snowblower my driveway. I feel proud of what I can accomplish and you should too!

  13. Teri

    You do what you need to do for you. Don’t worry about others judging you. I had the same conversation with my husband about lawn equipment. We purchased the Stihl battery powered weedeater, hedge trimmer, and a leaf blower. They all take the same battery and they are light and easy for me to operate. Highly recocmend them

  14. Donna T

    Don’t worry about what others think. You are staying busy and that’s important. Kramer would definitely approve of the sale and getting equipment you can use. Bless you Jo.

  15. Bobi

    My stepdad died in early April. He was a collector of lots of things: milk bottles, trucker hats, nascar stuff, shot glasses. Tons of stuff Mom always wanted him to sort thru and get rid of. Her widowed sister came to visit during funeral week. She talked Mom into sorting stuff. She picked out what she wanted for memories, allowed his family to choose mementos and then we had a big yard sale on Memorial Day weekend.
    It kept her (and me) busy with a purpose. Leftovers were given to the local mission. Yes, she got lots of advice and criticism, but guess what? It was the RIGHT thing for her and that’s all that matters. I tried justifying it to some people and then I decided it was really none of their business. Everyone has the right to do what is right for them. No one can live someone else’s life. They need to get over it. It’s THEIR problem not ours. There’s no right or wrong way to behave after someone dies. It’s all a personal journey and no one should judge others who are grieving. Offer support but keep your opinions to yourself.

  16. Jill Klop

    I agree with everyone else…you do things on your timeline. Everything sounds reasonable to me. I was wondering when the childcare would start back up again. I keep you in my prayers.

  17. Christine

    Dont worry about the na sayers. Who says what is correct or wrong after the death of a loved one. Each needs to do what makes them happy and helps to get through the day with out their loved one. Blessing to u and your family. Kramer is right there with you while getting ready for the garage sale and the next steps of this new journey.

  18. Mary Ann Mettler

    I love how practical you are. You are to be admired for sure. Will pray the sale goes well.

  19. Sheila

    If you are at peace with what you are doing, that is all that counts. Prayers as you continue to move forward.

  20. Tanya Quilts in CO

    I think it is remarkable how practical you are approaching everything. Sell the useless to you equipment and get things you can operate. Get things done now, why wait? We live on 2.5 acres and I will likely have to move when my husband dies. People think that it is awful to think about those things, but my hubby is 11 years older than I am and it is more than likely I will out live him. We need more practical people in this world.

  21. Debbie B

    Sounds like a good plan. I agree there’s no reason to hang onto things that you can’t use. Buy some “Jo Friendly” tools. Glad to see you got some time for stitching. Take care. Hugs!!!

  22. Karen P

    Everyone grieves differently. Everyone handles grief differently. Personally, doing is much better than thinking. When my stepdaughter passed I was the one clearing out her condo. It was very theraputic for me. You do wants best for Jo and not what convention might dictate. Life moves forward. That’s just the way it is. It doesn’t do you any good to stay stagnant and not move forward. Continued prayers for you and your family.

  23. Kathy Wilson

    You do what works for you Jo. You are helping me be good with the decisions I made after losing my husband last year. Although you’ll miss him dearly, life goes on and your practicality is paramount to your new normal.

  24. Linda in NE

    You are so totally right to sell equipment you can’t operate and getting something you can. My husband prides himself in keeping old stuff running and taking parts off one thing to keep another old piece of equipment going. Every piece of yard equipment we have has a trick to getting it started. I’ve always said that if anything happened to him I would get rid of it all and get some new ones that I could easily get started.

  25. Janet R

    I agree with the other commenters. You do what works for you. Since you had been discussing for months, it’s definitely not soon and you wanting to see it through makes sense. Selling the yard equipment you have and getting something Jo-friendly makes sense, too. I also can’t run our equipment, so when Bob had foot surgery months ago, I hired people to take care of it. I’m not sure if he’ll want to take it back if he ever heals, but we’ll deal with it in that time.

    Thinking of you often and praying. Hugs!

  26. Roxie

    I have a Worx weed wacker & absolutely LOVE it….. I saw one in the Menards flyer – under $100 for the weed wacker & leaf blower & 2 batteries…… My suggestion GET IT !!!! it is light weight, spools are free for the life time, easy to change out & really gets the job done nicely. Let me know if you have any sewing/quilting things that slide out to the garage sale……..A loving hug to you

  27. Stoney Monte

    I’m so glad to see that everyone commenting has said nearly the same thing. You need to follow your heart and do things in whatever order makes sense to you. No one has the right to judge what someone has decided is right for them. Clearly, you are on the right path, Jo.

  28. Cynthia

    Jo,

    When my mom passed away, I went to a few sales and a
    Thrift shop or two just to have some normalcy in my life.
    I also took time daily for me. I had spent so much time taking care of her, traveling to her, calling her and even less time on myself. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Don’t worry about what others think. Do it your way, and do it one day at a time. Some days all you can do is a hour at a time. Love and hugs to you a one your family. Hope you have a great sale! I wish I wasn’t so far away, I’d love to stop by!

  29. Cindy E

    I just don’t understand people who make negative comments about the how other people grieve or handle any situation life might throw at them. We all react differently to situations in our life. As for getting Jo-friendly equipment, I’m all for it. I was in my house only a year or so when I realized that I needed to get different mower and other machines. I didn’t have the know-how of maintenance of gas motors and it was hard to pull the cord. You know better than anyone what is best for you. You go girl. Thanks for sharing.

  30. Katherine Gourley

    Hi Jo, no one should criticize how another person grieves. I totally admire the way you are going about fulfilling what Roger would want to accomplish if he was still with you on earth. I totally agree that you should have equipment that you can use and not injure yourself. It is admirable that Roger had hope he would be able to use his equipment again. That is part of the HOPE of recovery that we should all have until there is no further options.

    My Mom died almost 19 years ago and it took me way too long to be able to part with some of her belongings — I had a misguided belief that passing her earthly possessions on to someone who could use them meant that I was letting go of more of her than I had already lost. I regret that now as many of her things just ended up in plastic containers in my basement instead of being enjoyed by others the same way my Mom had enjoyed them. You are doing what I should have done.

  31. Caryn S

    I think your plans make a lot of sense. Things that work best for you are important, especially now. Hugs.

  32. Diana

    Yes, by all means do what your heart desires at this time. Having a sale is a good healthy thing for you to do. Kramer would approve and now is your time to do what you want to do, for you. Good luck on your sale and have fun shopping for the things you can work with. God Bless You

  33. Rebecca

    First off Condolences, you are a model for me, we are at the stage of life that I could lose my hubby too. So far so good though. I still insist on electrical rototiller and electrical mower, I can start them and do what needs done. Normally the battery powered stuff will need charged and the charger alone is 50 dollars or more and extra battery to use and also charge one is a mounting cost. Electricity is a good thing and readily availave even by generator if need be. Best of thoughts are coming your way and wish you well always.

  34. Donna

    Again it is good you are working on everyday thing. having the garage sale is part of it and it was ready to go. Have a good day. Enjoy the family and all the friends who will stop by visit and maybe buy a few things.

  35. Roxanne

    What good and right comments everyone has made—I just love your readers! Sometimes people get stuck when they’re grieving and sometimes they move too fast—somewhere in the middle is good and you’re the only one who knows that balance. Hugs!

  36. Nancy A

    You are not being rash at all. You are taking care of yourself and your family. I remember when my father died when I was 30 and mother was 52. The 1st thing we told my mother was get a new car. My father was a lot like your husband in that he could keep old machines running, but mother couldn’t do that. So she got a new car the week after the funeral. That was a very wise decision, and you getting machines you can operate is a wise decision. My husband and I continue to pray for you.

  37. SANDY N

    Oh Jo! I’m sooo sorry for your lost of Kramer. From everything I’ve ever seen on the blog, he was a strong & supportive husband & father. I hope you never feel like you ever need to “justify” your actions to anybody. Every one deals w/ things a certain way & nobody knows the relationship you & Kramer had or how he would react to things other than you & your children. I pray that you & you wonderful kids have peace in this, because I can’t imagine how hard it is for you and your family.♥️

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