Valentine’s Day

It’s Valentine’s Day.  I hope you’re having a good one.  This like many “holidays” can be really great if you’re in the thick of it all and really stink if you’re not.

Valentine's Day 2020 Wishes, Messages, Images, Quotes, Status, Cards: How to greet 'Happy Valentine's Day' in different Indian languages
What I’m saying is, if it’s Mother’s Day and you never got a chance to be a mother, it can be a not-so-happy day.  Imagine women who longed to be a mother but it never worked out.  Imagine women who miscarried and were so close to motherhood, but never made it through those last few months.  For those, Mother’s Day can be really hard.

Valentine’s Day is another like that.  If you have a special someone, Valentine’s Day can be awesome.  It can mean candy and a special restaurant.  It can mean a long walk and a chance to catch up.

When Karl and Kalissa were in high school, on one particular Valentine’s Day, neither had a significant other.  The two of them dubbed the day, “Single Awareness Day”.

While many are celebrating their love…many are reminded of their single life.  It can be a little sad.

Kramer, my husband who passed away in 2019, and I weren’t big on Valentine’s Day.  We thought it was a bit of a made-up thing to spur consumers to spend.  We were big into believing that we should love and show affection every day…not save it for one single day.

We were both a bit of odd ducks and appreciated little surprises so much more if they were done on days that didn’t dictate a response.  Like, he used to pick ditch flowers for me on some not-special day.  That meant more to me than a dozen roses on Valentine’s Day.  It was spontaneous and because he thought of me…not commercialism pressure because it was Valentine’s Day.

I ran across this picture when I was writing a blog post for my Blast from the Past series.  It was from Valentine’s Day 2012.  Kramer had bought a pack of homemade truffles for me on Valentine’s Day.  He hid them all over the house in the places I often frequented including this one by my sewing machine…
sewingTRUFFLESThis really made me smile.  He knew these truffles were my favorite and he knew all the places I frequented every day.  How fun.

I’m doing okay with Valentine’s Day here.  Sure, I’m missing Kramer but I still miss him every day, so this day is not different.  Instead, I’m spending my day thankful that I had a love steady and true.  I had someone who knew I loved truffles and knew my habits and knew where to hide the truffles so I would find them.

There is a saying from Alfred Lloyd Tennyson…

Tis better to have lost than never to have Loved At All Art Print by Butterfly Art | Society6
I totally believe this.  I am so thankful I had Kramer in my life as long as did and would 100% do it all over knowing I would be left as a young widow.  My time with him was totally worth it.

High on the list of Kramer’s favorite songs was The Dance by Garth Brooks.

It tells much of the same message.  Love and life while we are in it are worth the loss when gone.

So while you’re out and about today, take a minute to remember there are some looking at this day as:

-Single Awareness Day
-Pressure to buy the right thing day
-lovey-dovey day
-just another day
-wondering if they’ll get an engagement ring day
-sad for a lost love day
-thankful for a love day

Be a bright spot for someone and pass on a little love and understanding knowing how you see the day, might not be how they see the day.  Send a message, give someone a wink.  It doesn’t have to be a lot for people to be reminded that they are loved.

15 thoughts on “Valentine’s Day

  1. Ginny Clyne

    Jo, you are such a special person to so many including us from your blog. Know that you are loved by all your family here and in God’s heaven and all your friends from your blog. I thank God for you every day. With much love, Ginny

    Reply
  2. Kate

    Your message is right on! I always liked celebrating this day as a family with special dessert or dinner, but no expectations of flowers or gifts. Love is an everyday, up and down affair. Of course, it sure is a fun day at elementary schools!

    Reply
  3. Peggy H

    I picked up a pizza for our lunch and when I was leaving said to the gal behind the counter ” have a good Thanksgiving! I mean Valentine’s day.”… in all fairness I was really hungry and the pizza smelled amazing!.

    Reply
  4. Lorraine

    So true, Jo! I always invite my adult children to join us for supper on Valentine’s Day. So even if they don’t have a special someone, they know they are special to us.

    Reply
  5. June

    You were so fortunate to have such a sweet love in your life. You touched on so many topics that affect me indirectly. My son is 42 and single waiting for his God sent wife- which we pray daily for him to be Blessed with. My youngest daughter who only wants a baby of her own but at 43 is unable to conceive and carry to them. My oldest girl who had her husband convicted of molesting his daughters. She too lost two babies in her 7th month of pregnancy. I’m forever reminded of the pain my children endure. Today is my sisters 44 wedding anniversary and I cry silent tears for her and her husband as he endures brain cancer. It’s a miracle he just passed the one yr mark but a new tumor has formed behind his eye causing him to go blind. On the 17th they will decide whether or not there is any more they can do for him. It’s 50/50 he will become in a vegetative state if they do or let him continue to lose sight in the other eye too as the tumor grows. So I fully understand how what is always so wonderful a day for some, shows others with pure devastation. My husband doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day as that’s the day his grandmother died. I pray for all of you today whether it’s joy or pain you feel that you’ll know Gods love and mercy. His Love note to you today- John 3:16.

    Reply
  6. JaneBergstralh

    Dear Jo —thank you for your blogs. You have become my
    friend in absentia. I too lost my husband in February 2019, and I share your feelings. I still expect him to walk in and call out “I’m home!”
    You am your health are in my prayers. Sending a hug—jane

    Reply
  7. Rosalie

    So true. My sister’s husband died last summer so this has been a year of “firsts “ for her. So hard. Love the Singles Awareness Day!
    Bar ditch flowers- love it!

    Reply
  8. Beryl in Owatonna

    Thanks for the thoughtful message!! It is easy to see why your kids love you so much and their families also!
    You are special to so many and loved by so many.
    Happy Valentine’s Day!!

    Reply
  9. Kim from TN

    We have never celebrated Valentine’s Day as our son was born 44 years ago today, so it’s a birthday celebration for our family. It is so hard to go eat out on this day that we always did something special at home. Our children are both single, so we still carry the tradition of a meal together we just do it with skype. He always picked his special meal to have and then angel food cake was served. This year we made tomato soup and grilled cheese, loved our time together.
    I agree with you Jo, love is shown in many different ways, and it doesn’t have a price tag attached. Sweet candies hidden in the house or a simple note in a lunch pail. Perfect.

    Reply
  10. NJ

    I worked almost 20 years in the office of a small town school. We had one Mother who had a florist shop and she was forever sending balloon, flowers and candy bouquets to her 4 children and her friends children. The bouquets were kept in the outer office until end of the school day and the kids could see them so they stopped by to see who was getting them. Of course, there were students who never got anything. Some neighboring schools had compassion to forbid these deliveries & I think it was smart because all kids are special.

    Reply
  11. Judith Fairchild

    Enjoyed the video of Garth singing it’s true. Love sooner orator comes with loss. It’s the loving that counts and we have the bittersweet me.ories mostly sweet when you’re blessed with a love like yours and Kramer’s. As an oldpoet said “Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” You were blessed and I was too

    Reply

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