The Second Talk with Poise

The Second Talk with Poise

Growing up, my parents talked very little to me about maturing. I learned most of what I knew from a few steamy romances I snuck in, the classic book by Judy Blume, “Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret.” and some book my mom gave me that talked about menstruation.

As far as “giving me the talk”, I never really got one of those either. Mom just handed me a book and told me to read it, and if I had questions she’d answer them. Well…I wasn’t about to ask a question so I went through my teen years a little naive.

Unfortunately when I was 24 my mom passed away and my chances to have a resource to ask question about raising kids, housekeeping, cooking and menopause type questions were lost.

When we had kids I vowed to to talk more about their bodies, my experiences and explain things to my kids so they weren’t naive. I would explain things to my girls AND my BOYS. I think it’s important. Now my kids ask anything, and they’ve learned that if they ask…I’ll answer. I honestly think talking about body functions and changes is no different than talking about a machine. After all our bodies are just a machine that carries our soul.

Recently I was approached by Poise to promote their new campaign “Pledge to Have The Second Talk with Poise”. Poise is encouraging us to be the first generation to have the “Second Talk” about the next stage in our lives including peri-menopause/menopause symptoms and solutions. I was all in and excited. I think it’s a subject that needs to talked about.

I wish someone would have been open and willing to talk to me a few years ago. As I had each one of our children things got worse and worse for me each month. By the last time our last was born, I was on pain medication for cramps and made it through my periods with it. Mind you…I am a tough farm girl who rarely even takes Tylenol. Then came the migraines and throwing up that came with my period. Then my perfectly regular periods went haywire, and I was having a period for 20 days at a time only to have a two week break and a regular period.

That’s when, at 39, I decided it was time to go back to the doctor. From there I tried birth control to stop my period…no luck. After testing and the doctor saying she couldn’t explain it, I lost it in the doctor’s office and broke down bawling. It was so embarrassing, but I was at wit’s end! Two weeks later I had a hysterectomy. The doctor came in and apologized to me that she hadn’t acted sooner. Apparently all my problems were happening because my Fallopian tubes had wrapped around my bowel. That was 8 years ago.

From there I thought I was in the clear….Nope….just some new problems, but these a bit more manageable.

Now it’s hormone replacement. If you have watched the news at all, you know that one day one study will say this and the next it will say that. So what to do? Ween myself off…stay on…step down? I had thought I would be in the clear and completely miss all the menopause problems. Nope…not all. After talking with my doctor, she halved my dose and moved me to a generic brand. That’s when the next nightmare hit.

No one told me about what was wrong when I felt like I had yeast infection after yeast infection after yeast infection, only to find out it wasn’t yeast infection but vaginal dryness instead. At the time I had slightly elevated blood sugar so the doctor thought it was related to that…After again pleading with the doctor and doing research on my own I asked the doctor if it could be because we changed my hormone. After 6 months of being completely miserable, I was right and went back on the full dose.

Then two years ago after, again hearing studies that suggested women not be on hormone replacement, I decided to again try to step myself down. I talked to the doctor, reminded her of my history, and we tried a half dose only this time, same brand. It worked. Then I stepped the dosage down another level….it still worked. Then I tried going completely off…Bad move. Back to the dryness…back to the crab…back to the yuck. I went back up to the low does and from there I have weened myself to take a half dose of the lowest does. I think this is where I’ll be hanging out.

I hope that you will be willing to talk about your experience with family and friends and be willing to “Have The Second Talk”. I sure wish I would have had someone explain to me what dryness felt like…I wish someone would have explained the struggle with weight loss that menopause brings.

I was fortunate in that I didn’t deal with spotting and hot flashes. I was fortunate that my problems didn’t last for a long period of time.

Along with their promoting to “Have The Second Talk ” Poise came out with new products that are being release and will be of help to women as they go through menopause and peri-menopause including Roll-On Cooling Gel, Body Cooling Towelettes, Panty Fresheners, Feminine Wash and Personal Lubricants.

Poise brand wants to rally 1 million women to pledge to have The 2nd Talk by World Menopause Day on October 18. By joining the conversation, women will gain more menopause knowledge, support, and solutions. Join the conversation at

Poise is giving away a $250 Visa card to one of the blog readers!! To be entered for a chance to win, leave a comment answering the question, “When do you feel most confident?”

Here are the rules of entry

No purchase necessary to enter or win.

Only unique Entries will be counted; duplicates will not be considered as an additional entry.

You may receive entries on this post by selecting from the following entry methods starting on July 26, 2012 at 9 a.m. PT and ending on August 24, 2012 at 5 p.m. PT:

a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post.

b) Tweet (public message) about this promotion, including exactly the following unique term in your tweet message: “#sweepstakesentry”; and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post.

c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post.

d) To enter without posting comments, see official rules.

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail and will have 72 hours to respond or a new winner will be selected. Void where prohibited.

Be sure to visit Poise’s brand page on where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win!

128 thoughts on “The Second Talk with Poise”

  1. As a whole I think we do a better job nowadays of informing youngsters of body changes and what to expect. Menopause is a whole different story. We’re all brought up on horror stories about it. I personally didn’t suffer much, if at all. I’d always had awful migraines every month and knew that my mother’s and her aunts’ stopped at menopause so I actually looked forward to it. A few hot flashes and then I got some natural progesterone cream and in about two weeks no more hot flashes. Migraines gone….all good. State of mind has some effect but there are times we need a little extra assistance and shouldn’t be shy about asking for it. My daughter has the migraines too and I’ve made sure to tell her that menopause will most likely end them. In the mean time she works for a very good OB/GYN and has access to all sorts of good drugs.

  2. I feel most confident when I’m having a good hair day and I’m dressed in clothing that fits me well.

  3. I can’t enter as I am Canadian…but I just wanted to thank you for being so open and honest!! I experienced some of your symptoms and didn’t know that they were associated to menopause! You opened a lot of eyes today and I thank you!!

  4. I just had a hysterectomy myself, and am dealing with all of the above mentioned . . . issues. It’s difficult to talk with anyone about it, and I like that you were brave enough to post this! Thank you!

    I am most confident when I am doing something I know I am good at.

  5. Jo, Thanks for being so open with these issues. I too am in full blown “mentalpause”. About two years ago when the symptoms first started I had my period for six straight weeks! Not just a little dripping, but a gushing river flow! My hemoglobin was so low I had trouble breathing, I’d get winded walking across the room. I was seeing doctors during this time but it was very frustrating. At one appointment my BP was sooo high I was afraid I was going to have a stroke. I probably should have been admitted but nothing was done. I decided I needed to take matters into my own hands (like you did). I researched many of the issues which calmed my nerves and lowered my BP. Knock on wood, I haven’t had my period in almost a year, yeah! A few hot flashes I can deal with!

    Seriously, thanks again for sharing.

  6. I too have been struggling with the change…heavy periods requiring super plus tampons and pads and changing every hour. Weeks long periods, a week off and starting again. Felt like I could sleep all day and always cold. Turned out I’d gone anemic from blood loss plus uterine fibroids were found which accounted for the heavy bleeding. Did the Lupron shots which gives a break from periods, tried the pill which didn’t work for me so next step is hysterectomy…only now I haven’t seen a period in 4 months so that’s on hold. Don’t struggle thru this…see your doctor and if I’d known this would take so long I’d have had the hysterectomy years ago just for my mental health which was screwed up from having to deal with all the bleeding. Thanks for sharing…keep sharing!

  7. i had a hysterectomy after battling horrible period after horrible period, losing three days a month because i could barely move for the pain. thank you for reminding me to have this talk with my daughter.

    i feel the most confident straight out of the shower!

  8. How great that you are so able to talk about previously-considered “taboo” subjects and it shows again your strength of character to face these issues openly.
    My menopause was very sudden due to my need for radiation/chemotherapy for cancer. But the cancer doctors never spoke of their treatments causing menopause or what that meant! Sheesh. My mood swings and hot flashes and night sweats were horrible.
    My regular GYN put me on estrogen replacement therapy which was a Godsend, but after 5 years of it, I weaned myself off of it.
    I feel most confident when I’m in familiar surroundings, that’s why I hate traveling.

  9. I was like you, given a pamphlet and told to ask questions if necessary. Believe me I didn’t! I was blessed with all screwed up insides. After the very premature birth of my son I had a partial hysterectomy, then a short three years later they went in and completed the job. At 29 years of age I was going through surgical menopause. Not much fun, but I know women who have had it worse. I took HRT for a while, but decided I was gonna get off. I did and I am glad, but now at the age of 49 I am wondering if I missed out on some protection it might have offered. Like you said the researchers can’t decide if it is good for us or not. Oh well we will find out one day! :)

  10. I feel more confident since I joine a Martial Art school. I have great work outs, and I feel more energetic, therefore more confident.

  11. I feel the most confident when I am well rested and wearing something that I think flatters my figure.

  12. Thank you for blogging about this, I retired this yr from being a Punlic Health Nurse in an inner city clinic. You are not alone, not getting much info, on menopause, or on HRT. the jury is still out on that one I’m afraid. It is wonderful that you have started that conversation, menopause lasts a long time, if you haven’t had a total Hyst! My mom had one at 37, I asked my aunts… both of them said it lasted about 10 yrs, I’m still dealing w some of the issues. Thank you again! let’s get this conversation rolling!

  13. I think it is great that finally there is an open dialog both on your blog and in the product world. It is so amazing how taboo it is to talk about menopause in even groups of ladies. I once complained at a sewing bee that the “great flood” was really bothering me and asked if anyone else had experienced it. I had several of the older ladies cluck and say how inappropriate I was to discuss such matters. Well both my mother and sister had hysterectomies early and never had any menopausal issues so I had no guide line.

    Lately, I haven’t felt confident at all. But a friend made me a beautiful card that made my day. So I would say right now I feel most confident around good friends and my family.

  14. Thanks for sharing. I’m going into menopause and have been fairly miserable at times…but who hasn’t? The hot flashes I can deal with, but the memory and energy issues are harder. My older sister had a hysterectomy so I couldn’t compare issues with her and since my mother has Alzheimer’s I can’t ask her how it was for her. I feel lucky that women my age are much more open to talk about these issues. Nice to know we’re not alone!

    I feel most confident when I’ve gotten cleaned up and ready for the day…after my coffee!

  15. I feel most confident when I’m wearing favorite clothes, when my hair’s looking good, when I’m smiling …

  16. I feel confident when I am not looking at myself. I hate the weight gain that comes with age. I really don’t like my mirror or photos. Thanks for the chance to win.

  17. Loretta MacPhee

    I am also a Canadian . I just wanted to say it’s high time someone brought up this subject.
    I have often wondered what happened? Our bodies change (developing), we have our monthlies , give birth and when we think we made it through the wood, so to speak, wham
    Now we’re in the middle of burning , moody hell. I itch, flash and sweat like I’m being attacked by wasps from the inside. What did we do to deserve this? And why is there near nothing that works. I think I’ve tried everything. Does anyone have a fix??? I could really use some help.

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  19. Hi Jo,
    I feel most confident first thing in the morning after a good night’s sleep when I have not woke up all night from sweating or with yet another head ache.
    Enjoy your time with your husband,

  20. Life is a hoot. We start life in diapers and end up in diapers in our later years. Something mom never told you. Glad to have poise pads to fall back on. Thanks.

  21. Thanks for your honesty, I too have suffered from what you mentioned and had no idea. I would certainly say a trip to my doctor is in quick order! Thanks

  22. I feel most confident when I’ve started my day with at least a brief Bible study and prayer and know that my confidence comes from inner beauty, not the outward appearance. Though having a good hair day helps! I think one of the reasons menopause is not talked about is because it is so different for each of us. I recently traveled with 4 friends and our experience varied from “piece of cake, all over in a year” to “what’s a hot flash? I didn’t have one and I’m done” to “what a nightmare! Will this ever be over!”

  23. I am a NeuroMuscular Therapist of the last 24 years. I feel most confident when I am working with a client, not only doing what I do to help them get out of pain, but then also teaching them about causes/ things that increase & decrease soft tissue pain, nutritional changes they can make to decrease their pain, & herbal & other natural ways they can bring their body back into harmony.
    It is definitely what I am on the planet to do & I am grateful & fulfilled when I can help someone on many levels this way.

  24. I’m sorry you’ve had all the issues you talked about. *hugs* That had to be hard.

    When I’m most confident… probably when I’ve done a ton of research and feel that I am prepped to discuss something intelligently. I’m not a very confident person in general. Right now we are researching mattresses and going to various stores to pick out what we want. I find that as I’m doing more research, asking questions, that I feel more confident to walk into the store and try to pick something out. But at the beginning of the process, I felt completely overwhelmed.

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  26. DH has convinced that the best way to go to doctor is to have done your research before the visit. Thanks for all the info! I feel most confident when I’ve just finished a yoga class.

  27. I feel most confident when I can present a put together image. Smell good, look good, feel good. Even at 60 it is still important to me.I too suffer many symtoms, dryness,itching, etc. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone in my feelings.

  28. It is about time that a company steps up and talks truths with women and teens. Like many of the others I also grew up with a mom who just didn’t feel comfortable talking about this issue. It just wasn’t done. Break the silence America. Knowledge is power and it is what I have taught my children. When I started having periods that lasted a month with a week break I got really scared. My mother died of reoccurring Cario-Carcinoma there is a better medical term for it but I am not a MD. I normally saw my regular doctor for everything but I couldn’t even talk to him about this so I went to my Daughter OB/GYN and she was excellent. She was caring and examined me and found pulps in my uterus. we discussed my options and decided on a hysterectomy due to the cancer history of my mother. Had I done the other procedure we would not be able to detect cancer in the future. Once I had the procedure I felt great (okay not so great I had to have my gall bladder taken out 7 days later) Once I recovered I was amazed at how good I felt I had energy and my life back.. My husband use to joke that he got his wife back. Then the craziness started, I like the others thought I was having yeast infections even treated for them. I was so embarrassed I lost my sex drive and felt icky all the time. Not to mention being HOT ALL THE TIME. My whole family called our house the meat locker. I finally went once again to my OB/GYN and told her what I was going through she giggled and reminded me that she told me this could happen I felt stupid. She started me on estrogen and I have felt wonderful. Now I see that Poise is putting items on the market tailored to help women like me and I say Bravo. Thank you Poise for stepping forward and meeting a need of women everywhere.

  29. I thought I had a yeast infection with all this heat. Makes much more sense that it is dryness. Talk about not feeling confident around people. Will have to try it. Also Poise pads I fear are going to come in handy as well. Work in retail and am on my feet all day.

  30. I feel the most confident when I am having a good hair day, clothes fit well, i’ve had enough rest, and am around friends

  31. Available help back then was pretty dismal, I agree. I feel most confident when I have needed information, needed support, and free choice.

  32. I feel most confident when I’m at the gym. It’s my favorite way to get my day started off on the right foot!

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  34. I am 31. I have miscarried multiple times due to unexplained infertility. I have recently felt drained. I have trouble sleeping and to top it off I feel bloated like things are just not right down there. The past 7 months I have had random spotting, when I do get periods they are super heavy and I end up going through about 30 pads that are the overnight kind. I have no one I can ask is this normal? When I last went to the dr I didn’t mention it because I didn’t feel like I could. Now I’m dealing with dryness and itching. Please some help here, what exactly happens premenopausal and when do women normally go into menopause?

  35. I feel confident when I think I did a good job, especially at work. Thanks for the review and giveaway.
    songyueyu at gmail

  36. I’m 59 this year & suffer from “morning sickness” not too many hot flashes but nausea!!! Wakes me from a sound sleep I Want MY LIFE BACK!!!!!! Dr. Haha he doesn’t get it told me to drink ginger tea

  37. I am 56 and went into natural menopause at 52. So far no really unusual problems – my doctor is very helpful and takes care of any symptoms that pop up – I’m using a vaginal estrogen cream that is working really well.

    I feel most confident among friends and family and people I have alot in common with.

  38. I feel confident when I am doing things I know I rock at doing – and when I get compliments later its a major confidence boost!

  39. atlantagalknows

    I feel most confident when I’m wearing an outfit I know is flattering on me and have had time to straighten my hair and put on a little make-up. Only takes about 10 minutes, but the difference it makes in how I feel is worth 10 times as much!

  40. I remembered my mother’s extreme moods at about 55 and guessed it might have something to do with menopause, but she would never talk about it, even in a whisper. I dreaded reaching that stage because of the migraines and fits of depression and anger she suffered and the loss of confidence that she suffered for several years. Well, as it turned I am blessed to have survived multiple rounds of cancer over almost 30 years and have experienced short-term premature menopause (for about a year each time) twice due to treatment. I am hitting the real deal now, I think, and it feels sometimes like going through the funhouse looking glass but itis easier when you have more information. I wish my mother could have lived in a more open era and had not suffered in such secrecy. Thank you for sharing your experience a bitboutin the light for others who stil may not have much information. I am a teacher and I feel most confidant when I see students grow and gain confidence themselves.

  41. I started getting hot flashes at 52. Then the dryness started, I also got to the point of not being able to stand myself. The Dr. gave me enjuvia and it WORKED great! Had to stop because of the cost, my flashes are getting better, I am now 60 and taking a generic script. When will this end??? LOL
    I feel most confident when I am with my friends, we all support each other. Life is great.

  42. I feel most confident when my husband compliments me about how great I look, especially after having 3 kids.

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