Well you all know I had my biopsy on Monday.
I (mostly) patiently waited for the results to come in. But my Thursday at noon, I knew the kids would be bugging me for results so I decided it was really close to 72 hours and called and asked for them. (I was told 48-72 hours).
BENIGN. No cancer in the lymph nodes in my neck that they tested.
I asked the nurse what I supposed to do. Whose patient am I, the surgeon’s or my Endocrinologist. She said the surgeon. I asked what was next then. She said she hadn’t talked to him yet. So here I sit.
Waiting again…only this time it’s worse. I don’t know what I’m waiting for. No idea. I don’t have an appointment. I have nothing scheduled.
I called Thursday noon and as of today (Friday) at 3pm, no news. I did send a message through the hospital’s doctor patient online program. I’m guessing it will be Monday at the earliest before I hear anything.
I have to admit to being a little frustrated. With my tumor marker number going up and indicating cancer, I’d like to treat it. But I do agree with the opinion that we should know what we’re treating before we treat….but how long am I supposed to wait before it blows up into something really big. UGH.
I think hardest of all is that the two people in my life who really-really-really understood me..understood how this all feels, are gone. I don’t have Kramer. I don’t have Jody….and it’s cancer that took them from me. It gets hard from time to time to feel optimistic and hopeful when I had a husband and niece both die from cancer. Everyone always says to me how lucky I am that I have the kids. I know that, but try as they might (and they do try), they aren’t Kramer. They aren’t Jody.
I keep telling God that if it’s patience he wanted me to learn through all of this, I think I’m getting the hang of patience. Let’s move on to another lesson so I can get the heck out of this spot.
That’s what I know…My plans…I am going to self medicate myself with the largest dose of sewing I can get in tonight and tomorrow. It’s the best medicine at this point…so off I go to sew.