A year or so ago Kalissa came to my house and said that her “Craig bucket” was running empty and could I watch the boys so they could go out to eat. I remember those days as a young family- wanting and needing adult time away from the kids to recharge and remember exactly why you were married and in this life together. I said yes and off they went. I was so happy to be able to help. Having a full “spouse bucket” is so important.
Well recently I have been looking at my life and have started to realize that I don’t always have a full “Jo bucket”. My own personal time bucket was running on empty. The other day I had to step back and look what was up with me. I’d been a little cranky. I’d been a little touchy. I’d been tired….Along with that I’ve had increasingly more commitments..Rosie is still pretty needy…the kids and grands have been more needy…my health things have been happening…I’ve just had a lot. I’ve had more kids at childcare with late starts and snow days and teacher in service days. My “Jo bucket” is running a little empty.
I haven’t sewn on anything for me. I’ve only sewn for causes or commitments. I’ve not cross stitched since I had the flu a couple weeks ago. I need to change my sheets on my bed. I need to just stop and reorganize so many of the things in the house. I do really, really well keeping up and then gradually the dining room table gets covered.
The kitchen island starts filling up with things I need to get to.
The laundry room starts to get too many projects in it.
I did some reorganizing in the living room only to find things needed to be taken here or there but rather than getting taken and put away, they sat. They got loaded onto the dining room table. AH…after awhile, all of this starts to drain on me.
I don’t consider myself an organized person. I don’t consider myself neat…I don’t consider myself on top of things…but, I do have a threshold that once the laundry room, dining room table and kitchen island get to be needing help, I’m doomed to get in a funk. Once all of my sewing and crafting go to only charity or gifting sewing and I don’t touch cross stitch…I get in a funk.
When Kramer was around here… he could tell that I was in a funk. He would tell me he’d do dishes and I was to go sew. Nowadays, he isn’t here to tell me and my plate is fuller than ever so, I’m finding out…I need to tell myself to “go sew”. I need to tell myself “say no”. I need to tell myself “don’t commit”. I need to tell myself “life isn’t all work”. I need to take a day of the week and recharge whether that is cleaning off the island, the dining room table or the laundry room. I need to sew or stitch something for myself once a week even if it means I don’t get a charity quilt sewn…or a craft for the childcare kiddos put together….or a baked treat for the kids or an email taken care of.
Now that Kramer isn’t here it’s easy to grab a sandwich and eat it while I fold laundry…and then I don’t even stop to eat. Even a little break like eating is needed and I often need to remind myself of that. “Jo-Eat at the table…don’t eat while working”. AH…it’s one of those habits that is easy to fall to the wayside.
I have a wonderful amazing family. I have wonderful kids and grandkids but I do have to figure out a way to balance them a little more too. As a dedicated mom who has put the kids first 95% of her life, it’s hard to say “Wait. My ‘Jo bucket’ is running on empty”.
I think all of this is a bit of cabin fever….I think it’s all a bit of overbooking myself. I think it’s all just day to day of a busy life. I think it’s my job…working 50+ hours a week at childcare is a lot. But seriously, it’s time for me to take a day or an evening and fill my “Jo bucket”.
Happily, that’s exactly what I did this weekend. I didn’t sew much. I didn’t cross stitch much but I get lots of other things done. The dining room table and island are manageable. The laundry room is slightly better. I’m caught up on blog posts. The taxes are prepped. I kitted a couple cross stitch projects. I spent time with Rosie. I made a pot of soup (it’s really good too). I did about 10 little errands that needed to get done. It’s EXACTLY what I needed to do…RECHARGE and not feel behind.
How are you doing on your personal “bucket”? Are you running on empty? What is your threshold of tolerance that puts you over the edge? Please tell me I’m not the only one that does this to themselves.
With that…I’m off. I got caught up and tonight I’m having a little bit of me time…shall I sew? Cross stitch? Hmmm. I love having things finished enough that I can choose.