The $6 Sandwich

Here’s a post from Kalissa….She went to the county fair with Craig and met up with friends.  Her feelings were very hurt by an incident that happened there.  Here’s what happened in her words.

I went out Saturday night. This is my bestie Regan. We’ve been friends for 10+ years. We went to a concert and it was a blast.

The concert was over and we were heading out. There was a guy selling sandwiches on the track (awesome business strategy btw). 

Regan and I went up to him. We asked how much sandwiches were. He looked at Regan and said “For you, I’ll give you 2 for $6” with a wink and handed her two sandwiches.

I pulled out $6. He said, “For you…here.” He took my money from me and replaced it with one sandwich. One. Sandwich.

I’m not even kidding. This vendor was pricing sandwiches based on women’s appearance and apparently I wasn’t worth much. 

So to the jerk who ruined my night, let me tell you about ME. The ME that is much more than my appearance. 

I just had a baby 5 months ago. I did not need to be reminded that I do not have my pre baby body back.

Last night was the first night we hired a babysitter and actually went out since my dad died in June. 

I regularly go to therapy to work through my deeply rooted body image issues, also known as body dysmorphic disorder. I have come so far in learning how to love myself, my body, and my appearance. 

I just hit my 10 lbs down mark yesterday and I was feeling more confident than I had in over a year. 

I am so much more than meets the eye. I am a mom, a daughter, a wife, a nurse, a volunteer, a good person, and I’m kind. Unlike you. 

So to heck with you Mr. Sandwich man. Do you talk about your wife or daughter or mother that way? If I was basing prices on personality, you wouldn’t ever be able to afford a sandwich. 

Am I just a millennial who gets offended by everything? Am I making something out of nothing? Probably. I don’t really care. I’m just angry. 

I’ve contacted the organization who this jerk is associated with. I’m waiting to hear back. 

All in all, please be kind. Please be so so kind to everyone you meet. You don’t know what they are going through or what a difference a single comment or gesture can make.”

As a mom, I hurt for Kalissa.  I can’t believe there are still people out there like this.  I really have no words.  A person is so much more than their body.
Love you Peanut!!

55 thoughts on “The $6 Sandwich”

  1. People like that make me so angry I have fought with my weight since losing my mum in 1995 I’m now losing the weight slowly and It feels good. I’ve (ad rude comments but like you say those people do not know what you are going have been going through…you are one beautiful lady with a lovely family xx

  2. I’m so sorry Kalissa was treated that way. Like she said no one knows what another is going through. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if everyone was kind? We can dream and hope that some day it will be better. Until then I choose to be nice.

    Love, hugs and prayers coming your way.

  3. Kalissa, I looked at the photo and thought how lovely you look. Then when I read what the vendor had said I was disgusted, appalled, angry – so I can imagine how you must have felt. But don’t waste your energy on someone so shallow-minded. You are worth so much more. I read this blog and think what a lovely family you all are. Be proud to be you!
    Much love xx

  4. Ugh! People can be such jerks. Dude has far more problems than Kalissa has, and it’s so unfortunate that people like that can hurt kind thoughtful people like Kalissa. I hated hearing it, but my dad drilled into me that I should always be the kind of person I would be proud to be because I would never be sorry I was the better person in a situation.

    Also, kind could probably get in a lot of trouble for discriminatory business practices.

  5. What a boring world this would be if we all looked the same! The scrappier – the better! Kalissa – you are beautiful! And you are a much better person that he is.

  6. You look great! I recently posted about being judged by appearance. Please post vendor name. The company should be made aware how disgusting this practice is and how their employee is behaving.

  7. The guy was a jerk and for what it’s worth, for him it was probably more about flirting with Kalissa’s friend than a comment against her. I’m glad she reported him for it though. What I know about Kalissa from the blog is that she is an amazing woman in all aspects of her life. A wonderful mother, daughter, wife, volunteer, a beautiful woman woman inside and outside. I hope she can move on and put that incident behind her.

  8. Wow! I’m glad you reported the jerk, I hope that you hear back from him. I wish the world could be just a little bit kinder.

  9. Kalissa this jerk is not worth the time it takes to even write this sentence! You are a beautiful person and you are worth so much more because you are a loving caring person. You were magnificent during your dad’s illness. Put this incident out of your mind and remember the fun evening you had with your friend.

  10. Kalissa, I gasped when I read what the boy did. I will not call him a man because he doesn’t know how to act like one. Thank you for sharing your experience and feelings. My husband and I were just talking the other day about what we hope we taught our kids well. If nothing else, I hope I’ve taught our kids to be kind. YOU ARE KIND! I know that just by the way you helped your family the past few months. Forget this boy and stand up as the beautiful Kalissa we all know you are! I can’t believe Regan didn’t fling one of her sandwiches back at him, or kindly return it.

  11. Kalissa, I am sorry that you had to go through that. What a hurtful thing! I don’t understand people who treat others like that. The thing is…by treating you like that, in front of your friend, he lost any chance he may have had with her! I think I’m going to share your post. It’s a good reminder to everyone to just be kind!

  12. You should have thrown the sandwich back at him…oh did I just say that out loud…my bad. Don’t let others get you down. Life is short and you look great!!

  13. Kalissa, First, congrats on taking the positive steps to get back to whatever weight you want to be, 10 pounds is a big deal!!. Everyone who has helped God in the creation of a new life gets that there are some downsides to the process. It would take a lot more effort for this guy to develop a depth to his humanity. Or as my husband would say “he is too big an idiot to be helped!”

  14. Why don’t you start your own blog about the road you are traveling. It sounds to me that you’d have a lot to share with others who are struggling with some of the same issues you are. I could give you some pat answers to what happened to you at the fair, but it seems to me you handled it wonderfully.

  15. Donna Pheneger

    Sadly, this happens more often every day.
    Kalissa, you are an awesome woman of God and NEVER let anyone take that away from you.
    What goes around, comes around.

  16. I am glad you reported it the owner of the concession. Please report it to the fairboard also. They need to know this is happening.

  17. I would hope you and your friend both told him you want your money back and he can keep his disgusting sandwiches along with his disgusting attitude and I hope you are successful at reporting this behavior! Calling him a jerk is kind! You most certainly are not overreacting and I hope you don’t let him get to you. You have so much good in your life – obviously he doesn’t!

  18. Kalissa, Thank you for sharing. And good for you for reporting him! He needs some lessons in civility and human decency. I, too, have body image issues (sadly,most women do) and unfortunately I’ve heard nasty comments as well. Your feelings have nothing to do with being a millennial and clearly, from reading this blog, you are a fabulous young lady, very competent and mature beyond your years. Don’t give this little creep’s antics another thought. Had I been you, the only thing I would have done differently is either demand a second sandwich or grab my money back from him and perhaps throw the sandwich in his face. (But I’m an old cranky person! ;-) )

    I need to share a similar situation my husband and I had at a fair years ago. We went to a fair in a nearby community where the parking was limited and you had to pay to park. Most of the lots had signs stating that parking was $2. We chose the closest lot we could find and drove in. The guy told us it was $5 to park. We were surprised but figured it was more since we chose a close lot. We parked, got out of our car and started across the lot to the fair. Several other cars came in during that time and he charged all of them $2! I was ticked!! I walked up to him and said why we’re we charged $5 and the others were only charged $2. He said he could charge whatever he wanted. I demanded our $3 back. He refused. I said fine, I’m calling the cops. He said go ahead. This was before cell phones but there was a pay phone across the street. I marched right over to the pay phone and he came running behind me to give me our money back. We took the $5 and took our car to another lot and parked it. It was a disturbing experience and kind of ruined our day at the fair that year. To this day, I don’t know what his game was or why he chose us to pick on (we had out of state tags, that was our only guess at the time.) And I’m not sure where I got the courage to call his bluff by threatening to call the police. But it’s one of those miserable experiences that happen because unfortunately there are plenty of unkind people in the world. Best advice: don’t let the jerks get you down!

  19. Marianne Barta

    I am so sorry this happened to you. But so glad and proud of you that you reported this guy. You
    look beautiful Hugs and prayers to you and family.

  20. I came across this a few weeks ago. I think it is something we can all benefit from.
    Will never come again.
    Be a blessing
    Be a friend.
    Encourage some one
    Take time to care
    Let your words heal and not wound.

  21. You have every right to be upset and I’m glad you reported him. It sounds as if you are being as reasonable as possible. Being treated with common courtesy should be common. Sadly, it is not. Please remember that you have inestimable value in God’s eyes and are an irreplaceable person to those who know and love you.

  22. What a jerk!!! Glad you reported him!!! You look wonderful and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise!!! Hope the both of you got your money back and walked away!!!

  23. Lori Sparks Douglas

    Kalissa you are beautiful Inside and out! You had a right to be angry with him! The sandwich guy has issues and is very archaic. A feeble attempt to flirt with your friend on his part. Don’t let his comment get you down. His judgement about women is flawed at this point in his life thinking that his actions/words were warranted and welcomed.

    As women, we all get critical about our self image. Be healthy and happy… we are all a progress in the works. Listen to the voices that really care about you. You are so selfless being a mom, wife, nurse, and daughter. You play these roles with great love and compassion! Not ever human on the planet has these gifts. What a better world this would be if everyone would!

  24. I’m going to agree with Amber. That guy was an ass. In a way, I know how you felt. I was with a friend at a quilt show. One of the sponsoring guild members referred to us as mother/daughter . My friend is 3 years younger than myself. I know that people age differently, but it still was hurtful. Thanks for sharing.

  25. A clear case of his mama didn’t raise him right. Kalissa is an awesome woman and should stand proud. This guy isn’t worth a thought. But, I’m glad Kalissa took action to correct the situation so he can’t inflict his shallowness on other women.

  26. I’m going to tell a little story about my dad and I hope it doesn’t offend anyone. When I was younger (many years ago) if something like this would have happened my dad would respond with this remark, “People are shi-.” He just said it so matter-of-factly. I just blew it off as crabby dad syndrome. He always said he was going to write a book about history’s monsters starting with Cain and Abel going forward. The only problem (he said) was the book would be so big he would have to haul it around in a wheel barrow! Fast forward about 40 years…I have seen enough people and incidents like this and others to have come to the conclusion, my dad was right! Ugh! Too bad he’s not around for me to tell him:( Mind you he (and I) didn’t think ALL people are shi-, but you know the ones.
    Stay strong, Kalissa. As some people have said beauty is skin deep but stupid goes all the way to the bone. And this guy was some kind of stupid.

  27. I hope Kalissa also contacted the fair board about this vendor. I suspect that this is a fundraiser for a local group, and would hope they would be very unhappy with this member.

  28. I am so sorry this happened to you, Kalissa!! You can tell he’s pretty stupid when he favors one person in front of their companion!! (I hear there’s a show called Mean Girls – doesn’t he know what can happen to him?)
    I was glad to read that there are people who told about their own bad experiences – where they SPOKE UP for themselves. That is the first Enormous step. Speak Up for Yourself. That is the first thing that needs to happen. Speaking Generally (not specifically to this posting), If you can’t speak up for yourself, the person/people you are with should do it. You are a Person!! Or you can stand there and just stare at them for a full minute. (Cashier Guy at the grocery store evidently didn’t like me telling him how I wanted my bread loaves bagged, so he did this.) Or you can burst into tears, so they realize that they have offended you deeply. If the person doesn’t apologize and make things right, it’s time to report them.

  29. Oh, so sorry, Kalissa. for this awful experience. I have always thought when I see your picture on the blog, that you have a smile that lights up the room! You are so caring and good to your parents. How many of us would drag their furniture to their parent’s house?! You are beautiful inside and out!

  30. I have a question. Mary from Chicken Scratch blog says closing ads helps them generate a little income that helps pay for the blog. Does this apply for you also? When I’m reading either blog on my iPad using Safari, I never see ads to close. I have discovered that if I go to the blogs through Google Chrome, I can see and close ads. If this doesn’t help you with income to run the blog, I’ll just stick Safari.

    Kalissa, ignore the talking turkey. You are beautiful!

  31. You’re beautiful Kalissa, inside and out which is more than that “man” could ever be. People like that make me sick and as a mom, it’s a good thing I’m in California. My pregnancy hormones make me want to find this guy and smack some sense into him!

  32. You are truly a precious, well-rounded, beautiful woman, Kalissa! You must look within yourself and ALWAYS KNOW the beauty that is there. We all see it in you. Just look, Kalissa!!! Beautiful!
    -Jean ❤

  33. Kalissa, you left one thing off your list of attributes – Strong. Good for you for reporting this rude behavior to his employer. I hope there are consequences for him and he realizes that he messed with the wrong woman. You stood up not only for yourself but for others who may not have your backbone. I can think of two little boys whose mama won’t let them grow up to be like this jerk.

  34. Sharon Runyan

    Definitely uncalled for. As my husband says, “never let someone like that rent space in your head.”

  35. Kalissa, you’re a beautiful person and that guy was a big jerk. I’m glad you contacted the organization that he worked for and I hope he gets fired.

  36. I’ll just be polite and agree the guy is a jerk…..though a few other names come to mind that aren’t so polite. I don’t even know Kalissa personally, but I do know that sandwich jerk isn’t even half the person she is. Some day karma will get him…and if karma gets a little nudge, all the better.

  37. Becky Gilliam

    You are a beautiful person, Kalissa, and do NOT let that jerk change you at all. Jo and Kramer did a great job raising all of their children to be kind – I cannot imagine Buck or Karl treating anyone like that uneducated idiot did. One day he may be brought in as your patient, and you can show him how a ‘beautiful woman’ behaves!


  39. Sadly, this has gone on for me for over 40 years. I have considered myself overweight and ugly. Years ago when ladies were offering perfume spritzes in a mall I noticed that only the pretty ladies were offered a spritz, never me. It’s so silly that I remember this vividly and just confirmed what I always felt.

  40. Susan the Farm Quilter

    Oh, Kalissa, you are doing such a great job on losing the baby weight. I finally got rid of all my baby weight from 3 babies, and the youngest of them is 29…years, not months, old!! That guy is a POS and his ignorant opinion doesn’t matter one whit! I have to kinda feel bad for him…he will never achieve 1/100th of what you will in your lifetime because he obviously wasn’t raised properly to know that manners really count in life. You were raised right (you didn’t deck his sorry a$$) and you will go far in life (look at all you have done in your young life!!) because you had parents who cared enough to instill values and manners in your whole family. Pity the poor schmuck because his goals are so low in life that you could “mow that lawn” and still not be low enough to impact them.

  41. As they say, it takes all kinds. You are such an accomplished woman so please do not be upset by such an unkind, ignorant remark. Look at all you have done with your life which amounts to so much more than selling “$6” sandwiches. I am reminded of a saying by a famous tv Judge – beauty fades, but dumb is forever.
    You are beautiful!

  42. When I first opened my email to read your blog and saw the picture of Kalissa and her friend, my first thought was, “Oh, look at these cute girls!” So pretty!” Then, when I read about the incident, I was so angry I wanted to punch that vendor idiot in the nose! What a horrible person! He must have an IQ of -001! Kalissa, I have always thought you are such a pretty girl, ever since I first saw your pictures in the blog, and that still stands! On top of that you are beautiful – inside and out! People like that vendor were standing behind the door when brains were handed out! I am so sorry that ruined an otherwise wonderful day. Kalissa, if you can, just forget what that idiot said, he is a totally ignorant person, consider the source. I am so glad you reported him!

  43. Ugh! I wish I was more surprised by this…sadly I’m not! The world is full of jerks! I just was given the book everybody always by bob goff and it was an excellent read talking about how much love does for people…even the awful ones, it gave me a very interesting perspective!

  44. Down with the patriarchy that allows a man to feel empowered enough to casually denigrate a woman, while putting a price tag on the both of them! ✊

  45. Carolyn Sullivan

    HE IS AN A$$ He is…. and he probably knows it too! You are beautiful, and everyone, even beautiful, women do not like their appearances all of the time. But he is always going to be an A$$.

  46. Okay Kalissa – So here’s what to do next time: you and your girl friends just point and laugh. Then giggle and laugh some more. Then clutch each other as you walk away from this male with many short comings (I’m sure of that), and just continue to point and laugh. Obviously you are pointing out the short equipment and getting a big kick out of it. I’m 73 and it still works that way. Guys make snide comments – and chicks point and laugh out the guy’s inadequacies. It’s brutal but you deserve a really good laugh after this meathead pulled his little stunt (pun intended). I just wish I’d been there.

  47. Katherine Gourley

    1. It takes time to lose baby weight. I am 69 years old and probably still have some of it
    2. Your looks are amazing
    3. Your spirit looks even better
    4. You (and your Hubby) are so caring and helpful to your Mom
    5. Your boys are beautiful and looking at Carver you just know they have a great Mom
    6. Take a copy of this post and all the comments to the fair board and send an editorial to the newspaper
    7. Do not back down
    8. The guy is a lowlife and an A&& and is getting away with his behavior

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