Here is your PSA reminder…
Have you looked at your will lately?? Or have you ever written one??
We put a will in place early on. With five kids, we felt it was important to designate care for the kids when they were still at the age that they lived at home. We also wanted to make sure our life insurance was correctly designated and that people who we trusted were in charge of executorship of the will.
For those of you who haven’t done a will, it’s really easy. There’s a bunch of paperwork to it all…but other than that, it’s easy.
Of course, if you are one that wants to list every piece of stuff in your entire household and who it should go to, it’s a little harder…but still, it’s just paperwork even if you want to do all of that.
We have updated ours several times over the years. Once Kelli was out of the house and only Kalissa was left at home, we designated that Kalissa would at the time, be cared for by Kelli. It made sense to make the few changes we did.
Three years ago when Kramer, my husband, was dying of lung cancer, we decided again to go and make some changes. The hard part…Kramer ended up too ill to go. He was no longer able to make the 15-minute drive. Instead, Kayla and I went. We talked to the lawyer so we would know how things would go once Kramer passed. It turns out things were okay because I was still living.
We were told that even if I passed, the will was still up to date and okay…so, I delayed updating it. It was one of those things I knew I needed to do, but put off.
Last fall when my cancer flared again, I…
thought I wanted to revise it. The kids were all adults now. I felt comfortable that one of them could act as the executor. Most of them had kids now so I wanted to make sure that each child’s share would go to their kids should one of their kids pass before I did.
With my cancer making death more of a reality than something far off in the future, I felt the urge to get things in place.
I wasn’t in love with the lawyer we had originally used so decided I would look into someone else. Kalissa helped with that and I got the paperwork. UGH. I just hate paperwork. Absolutely HATE paperwork.
I was sure I would get all the things collected that I needed for the revision while I was in isolation after my treatment in January…but that didn’t happen as I felt so sick.
I started with it all and as soon as I had to look up anything, I set it aside. BLAH. Did I tell you I hate paperwork? Passionately hate it. Not feeling well plus paperwork was too much for me. So there it sat and I forgot about it all.
The other day I was cleaning the laundry room. Somehow a pile of stuff had landed there and there in the middle of the pile were the forms that I needed to fill out for the will revision.
I picked them up and did it. I mailed the info to the lawyer and the other day I got a call from the person working on typing it up. She was clarifying Buck’s real name as “Kasjen”. She wanted to make sure the spelling was correct. She also asked if Karl’s name was “Kael”. I said no Karl. Both boys are named after grandfathers.
Then curiously she said, “In the area where you were to write an optional statement, do you want what you wrote included?”. I asked her to remind me of what I wrote. She said, “Don’t fight, things are just things.” I said yes. Keep that there. She said that’s all you want to write. I said yes.
She had a very curious sound to her voice. I’m guessing that’s not the typical thing people write.
I told her what I wrote is completely “my voice”. My kids will hear it, just as they know I would have said it. I know it will be meaningful to them…and they will still listen to me even though I won’t be here.
They can figure it all out. I don’t need a long laundry list of who gets this and who gets that. Thankfully we aren’t a very materialistic family. Many of the things of Kramer’s we’ve already divided out so that makes things even easier.
I know in some families there are family members that “come out of the woodwork” when there is a death in the family but I’m pretty confident that our kids will all be good. Thankfully they have seen great examples of this on both my side and Kramer’s side of the family.
So, readers, that is your PSA:
Do you have your will done? Does it need an update?
I know I feel TONS better that mine is done.