I was recently going through old blog posts. I was writing the Quilts of 2016 post which will be like in a few weeks. It was quite the year for me. I have my thyroid cancer complete with thyroid removal and I had foot surgery. I spent almost two months doing childcare on a scooter. You can see me in the picture below from back then.
It was quite a year…only to rivaled by 2019.
As I was scrolling through I came upon this post.
“I love being with the kids…
They don’t care if my voice is hoarse.
They don’t care that I sing a little off-tune now.
They don’t worry that whatever I have will affect them.
They don’t cry because I am hurt.
They don’t treat me like I am less because of a diagnosis.
They don’t ask me questions I don’t know the answers to….well some but not related to my health.
They just love me unconditionally. I love that. I need that.”
I had written this shortly after my thyroid surgery. I was reminded of this again when I had my foot surgery and yet again after Kramer passed away.
Of all of the support I’ve even gotten through my last 6 years or so, some of the best support I’ve gotten has been from the kids. They truly love me just for me and the things that are wrong with me, don’t make a difference to them.
For them, if there has been a tear in my eye after they asked me, “Do you still miss Roger?” and I answer, “Yes”, they don’t treat me like I have the plague. They don’t shy away from me. They simply accept it as the way it is. Missing someone to them is just a part of life. Shedding a tear is just part of life.
When I am feeding a baby and they see my barefoot up on the recliner and can see my surgery scar, they don’t shy away from it. They run and get the doctor kit so they can “fix” it.
I love the openness. I love the honesty. I love the acceptance. I love that they don’t shy away from me. I love that they just ask rather than skirt around a topic.
The other day one of the childcare kids asked if I would go climb my snow hill with them. I said, “No, I’m too fat. I don’t think they make snow pants to fit me.” She immediately told me I wasn’t fat. I was just perfect.
Awww…that melted my heart.
So many thought I was nuts to go right back to childcare after Kramer passed away. I knew it wasn’t nuts. I knew the kids would actually take care of me just as much as I was taking care of them. I was certain the kids would be part of my healing process, just like they always had been…and they were, and still are.
Most everyone else in my life doesn’t talk about Kramer except for our kids. He’s still a topic many don’t want to broach…not the childcare kids. They will ask me if I miss him. They will tell me they remember him. That all is good for me. It’s good to know someone else thinks about him too.
As long as I am alive I hope there will be kids in my life…and if that’s not possible, I hope there are adults who will treat me just like kids do with an overall sense of acceptance no matter my circumstance.
17 thoughts on “Kids are My Saving Grace”
I love this post especially about (Roger) Kramer. I feel I am getting to know the two of you. Yes there are still the two of you. I I feel about my dad, he will be gone 11 years in April, such a great loss. I still can’t believe it that he is gone. He was my hero, my greatest supporter, my cheerleader who thought I could do anything and loved me unconditionally. Yes I am married but it is a different type of love and support.
Thanks for a lovely and thought provoking post! You are so good about finding a way to say things others might shy away from, but you tackle them in an open and forthright manner that makes so much sense. That’s one of the things that makes reading your blog such a rewarding thing each day.
It is so good to hear this reminder that we adults do not need to fear of “getting” something, but just be accepting of another no matter what. You sent a good message to us. Yes, having little children around certainly can help in the healing department and they are so blessed to have you as their child care provider.
What a wonderful, heart warming post in this time of so much negativity and hate. It brought tears to my eyes, You are a special lady with a big heart. It isn’t surprising the kids love you so much and the same with your grown kids and grandkids too. You are certainly loved!! Keep being you!
What a beautiful post, Jo.
I feel the same way regarding the AccuQuilt Cutter. the dies take a lot of room and at a high cost. The great thing for me is that I belong to quite a good size quilt guild (70 – 100 menbers) and the guild bought the studio AccuQuilt cutter.
Now we can cut fabric before a meeting or at our quilt ins. Since we are not meeting during Covid we can sign up and cut 1 day a month at one of our members house as she is storing the cutter for us. Just to give people another idea on how to obtain one.
Vintage Quilter, I wonder whether you belong to the Oakland County Quilt Guild in Michigan???
Oh Jo, how this post resonates through me. When I was in my 20’s I found out my husband and I couldn’t have children. I had grown up wa ting baby of my own. When I heard the news I was devastating by dead dreams. Thank God I had the beginner ass those lite one loved me for myself. When one of them asked where were my children, I simply said we couldn’t have any. They would hug me and say I love you. Yes having children around helps to heal the hurt. Later in life I had divorced and remarried. (Not that fast). I was blessed with a daughter. So accepting what was and wouldn’t change becoming content where I was helped by my little sunday school children. I had so much fun with them.
I just wanted to let you know that I appreciated you honest opinions about the Accu Quilt Cutter. You have helped me make my decision. First, since I have had Rotor Cuff surgery and then total shoulder replacement surgery on my right shoulder on the same shoulder, I have reached the opinion that this is probably not the right decision for me to purchase the AccuQuilt Cutter. I will just continue to cut my quilt patterns using my rotary cutter and ruler. I will just take my time and do what I can.
I hear you Jo. My sister widowed 14y ago on Feb 9. Each year I send her a “thinking of you today” text. Last year and this month she said I was the only person who “remembered”. I for one will never forget you lost Kramer. You are forever married to him. He will forever be your husband and talking about him is healthy for you and good for everyone around you whether they know it or not!
Hugs to you :-)
Well said, Jo. A reminder to all of us. Thank you for opening your heart to us.
Just to let people know that are interested in the Accuquilt cutter that have arm and shoulder problems that there is an electric Accuquilt that does it at the press of a button. I bought an Accuquilt with my sister in law mainly because she has Parkinson’s and quilting is what she does 75% of the time. She stores it and I may use it a couple times a year.
Kids definitely are little bundles of healing –I do miss my grands a lot–it’s been over a year since I’ve seen them in person..let’s face it zoom is not the same is it? But, I keep on sending them little quilty gifts and they send me their drawings along with their “thank you’s”–that warms my heart a lot.
hugs and thanks for a very heart-warming post…Julierose
You are so correct. It’s good to be around chidren in times of sorrow. They have a way of matter-of-factly handling the situation. When my MIL passed, we took our granddaughter to the funeral home. On the way home she said, “If Grandma was sleeping in her casket, why didn’t she have on her pajamas? She had on a dress.” I reflected a moment and then said: “because when she gets to Heaven, God says they are going to have a big party for her, so she wore her new blue dress to get ready for it”. That satisfied her. Another granddaughter, age 5 at the time, said (after I told her grandpa and I had lost a baby girl awhile back who was age 4 months: “That must have been devastating.” I was so surprised at her big word. She hit it right on the nose; it was, and her comment comforted me. Children are so wise.
What a good message for all of us, acceptance and love go together.
SEW glad that the childcare kids have been good “medicine” for you! Looking forward to that Quilts of 2016 post, Jo.
A beautiful message today…sniff, sniff. Take care.