Hey there folks! Kalissa here!
I’m hacking mom’s blog for the day, we have been talking about having me do some more guest blogging which is pretty awesome, so here’s my first post.
As most of you know, my fiancé and I Craig got engaged last August over Labor Day weekend. This came as no surprise to our family and close friends. Craig and I had been talking about getting married practically since our first date and there is no doubt in my mind that he is the one for me.
It’s a little disappointing that I even have to bring this up because in all reality, our ages don’t matter. We are a young couple, I’m currently 19 and he just turned 21, but because of this I’ve been facing quite a bit of scrutiny from some of my “friends.”
When we first announced that we had got engaged, everyone seemed really sincerely happy for us which was great. We started planning things right away even though the date we set isn’t until next September…and then things started to get awkward. So I’ve compiled a list of “Things That Happened to Me After Getting Engaged at 19.”
People blatantly ignored me.
In social situations, if the topic of our engagement was brought up there were a couple people who literally rolled their eyes and walked away. That was really hurtful because I thought we were friends.
People wanted to be my best friend.
This one just baffles me. People come out of the woodwork. They’ll come running up to me to hug me and congratulate me. Which is fine and I’m glad they share in our excitement. Someone even said to me, “I’m so excited to come to your wedding. I don’t even care if I’m invited or not I’m coming!”
People have asked to be in our wedding party
I’ve been asked this several times. No matter what we are talking about they always seem to twist the conversation back to my wedding, talking about who is in the bridal party, am I looking for a bridesmaid…one friend even said to me, “I was really surprised you picked her to be your bridesmaid. I thought we were much closer.” And then follows up with the equally rude statement of, “Well if she screws up let me know and I’d be happy to step in.”
It’s painful to even just scroll through my Facebook newsfeed
Here are some posts I’ve seen.
“If one more person gets engaged I’m gonna lose it.”
“Can people just stop getting engaged for like a minute? That’d be great.”
Now if I stalk any of these people’s Pinterest boards, they are literally all about wedding dresses, engagement rings, centerpieces, wedding diets, wedding hairstyles, wedding photography…
What actually sparked this blog post is a friend of mine who shared a link on Facebook entitled, “45 thoughts you have when yet another girl gets engaged on Facebook.” Some of these “thoughts” include:
-“They’re only 25.” Well I’m only 19.
-“How long have they been dating?” I am so sick of this question. We’ve been dating about a year and a half now. It didn’t take us that long to realize that we want to spend the rest of our lives together.
-“They’ll be divorced before their kid even turns five.”
-“I can’t wait to be able to jet set anywhere I want while you’re scurrying to find a babysitter.”
My family was super awesome.
Seriously, my family has always been so supportive of us getting married which has been really been a blessing. I think people have this preconceived notion that because we are getting married at a young age, we are getting married without our parents support. This is so not true. I’ve had many people ask me and my parents about us getting married. They say things like, “Well how do your parents feel about it?” as if they are expecting this big huge long and drawn out Montagues vs. the Capulets Romeo and Juliet saga. I usually like to respond with, “They are so happy for us because they actually know us and know this is the right decision for us.”
People think I’m pregnant.
Nope. No Teen Mom drama for this 19 year old.
Girls who have the same wedding date as us get super defensive.
This one is just stupid. It’s a day. Chances are neither of us are going to be invited to the other one’s wedding anyway.
It’s hard to find “couple friends.”
Craig and I have had this conversation several times. The people we hang out the most with are my parents. It’s hard to find other couples our age who are at the same life stages as we are. Some people my age are still living the crazy college party life.
People assume our engagement will last a few years.
People ask when we are getting married which is fine but I often get the reaction of, “Wait..2015?” Uhm…yeah? I think some people think it’s a promise ring or something and I personally wouldn’t choose to be engaged for more than a year. What are we waiting for? As Rascal Flatts would say, “Why wait another minute for something that we should have done yesterday?”
People are genuinely happy for us.
I love these kind of people. They’ll ask about wedding planning, if they can help with anything, keep in touch, send you a snap chat of the “Save the Date” on their fridge, send you pictures of the dress they bought for the wedding etc. Thank you. Thank you very much. Not everyone is so nice and I don’t think you realize how much we appreciate your support.
Mom says there are people out there who were much younger than we are when they got married and many of them are happily married. I look especially and see that with my aunt and uncle Jule and Wendy.
Mom assures me that at whatever life stage a person is in these types of things happen. She says that she herself gets comments all the time about grandchildren and why she doesn’t have any yet….after all three of my siblings are married and of child bearing ages. She keeps saying that although she’d love to have some, that she didn’t have children for the purpose of having grandchildren. Mom says it’s just part of life…She’s probably right.