I was out and about a bit ago and saw someone that I know. The person said to me, “Oh, you’ve had a hard life.”
The comment hit me a little funny and I didn’t know what to say…I ended up saying, “But I’m happy.”
The comment stuck with me all day long. I just couldn’t figure out why that stuck with me. Then it hit me.
I’ve not had a hard life. I’ve had a great life.
I grew up in southern Minnesota to a farming family. My Dad milked cows and early on all of my siblings and I learned that if we wanted something, we had to work for it.
We all knew we were loved even though we didn’t have wildly affectionate parents. We had everything we needed and many of the things that we wanted. My Dad bought me a horse when I was 14 and to me, that was all I ever wanted. I had a guitar and guitar lessons. I was a lucky kid.
By the time I was 16 my parents helped me get a car. I paid for it but they helped me get a loan and insurance set up.
I went to college…I paid my own way but my parents did things like pay my phone bill or floated me some money for gas.
In their quiet way, they were always supportive.
I was so blessed as my mom came from an abusive family and she did not pass that on to our family. I will forever be grateful to her for stopping the abusive cycle and not passing that to our family…Living with abuse would have been a challenge.
In college, I met Kramer, my husband. In my junior year of college, I ended up pregnant. We had started to talk about getting married in the summer after my senior year so we just moved the date up a year.
We took some unkind comments over the unplanned pregnancy but it was totally worth it. Today, I have Kelli to show for that pregnancy and my life with her has been great…totally worth the unkind comments.
We went on and had four more kids. Those kids have gone on and blessed us with 9 grandkids.
Kramer and I got along so good. I was truly loved by him and in return I loved him.
YES, he died at age 57 from lung cancer…and yes, that’s been a challenge but by no means does that define my life.
Everyone who is reading this and is married or in a committed relationship, will either lose their significant other or be the one that dies. Yes, it’s sad that Kramer died early, but, I’ve not done anything that you or your significant other won’t have to do. I’ve simply done it earlier than most. Death is part of all our lives.
This doesn’t make my life hard…challenging at times, yes. Not hard.
YES, at 50 I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, and at 56 diagnosed with metastasized thyroid cancer to my lungs, but by no means does that define my life.
I just looked up statistics from the National Cancer Association. 39.5% of all people will deal with some form of cancer in their lifetimes. I am one of many. I am certainly not special because of it, nor is my life harder than others.
None of those things, for me, defines my life as being hard. Challenging at times, YES…but not hard.
I’ve always had everything I needed.
I’ve always had the support of family.
There are people in my life who love me.
I’ve had most everything I ever wanted…and if I didn’t get something, I can see it wasn’t a good idea.
I have wonderful kids and grandkids.
I have a house that’s perfect for me.
I don’t have loaming debt.
I have so many things in my life that bring me joy.
I’ve actually had it really good…cancer and all…Kramer’s death and all. I have a good life.
I really hope all of you can also look at your life and not let the things that happened to you define your life as hard or not hard. I hope you can see challenges as what they are…things we have to work through.
I have an AMAZING life and I am very happy…sure I miss Kramer. Sure I miss the days that I didn’t have cancer as my personal little rain cloud hanging over my head but those are moments in my life…not life definers.
I am going to define my own life and I choose HAPPY!!! I hope you can work through your own personal challenges and find a way to choose happy too!!