When I saw a friend of mine in town the other day she commented that she enjoys reading the blog. A smiled and tried to say thanks. I am so bad at that. I am just always dumbstruck when anyone compliments me that I forget to just say thank you.
Anyway-she went on to say that I never say anything bad about Hubby on the blog. I thought about it and realized that it’s likely true. I don’t say much bad about Hubby ever and if I do, it’s typically mild and it’s typically to one of the kids. We all love him and it’s a safe place to vent. Besides we all know there is WAY more to appreciate about him than there ever is to vent about.
So Hubby had a birthday on Sunday. We don’t do anything fancy for birthday’s around here. In Hubby’s words, “It’s just another day!” But I thought I’d take a second to tell you a few things about him.
He’s child number 5 to a family of six. The rest of the kids are all girls. He started farming while he was still in high school. Then continued on farming after graduation. He’s always farmed some how. It’s in his blood…a true farmer always.
He did become at EMT and later a volunteer fireman. Those are both things he also loves. He loves to help out when he can.
He hates getting his picture taken. In his words, “stupid people annoy him”. He has two beers when he gets home from work every night. He loves sweets and desserts. He delays going to the doctor if at all possible.
He, like me, love our work. For both of us work is a hobby that makes up feel fulfilled. Neither one of us like commercially type vacations. We like simple time away where we can learn more about people or about things. A couple weeks ago I was at the dollar store and he was waiting outside for me. He struck up a conversation with some bikers and even after I got out of the store he continued to talk. He likes to know where people are from and what brought them to where they are. Many men would be frustrated with the wait…not Hubby. He’d just nap if there was no one to chat with.
Hubby is plagued with feet problems. He’s got very high arches and any shoes but his Red Wing farm boots can signal trouble for him. So on days like our daughter’s wedding he wears the dress shoes for pictures and the ceremony then out come his Red Wings. Some wives would be bothered. Not me. I’m thankful he’s smart enough to take care of himself and not be pressured by the social norms.
He doesn’t smile a lot…so the picture below really made me smile.
All week long before the wedding he’d intended on trimming his beard. Each night was filled with some responsibility or he was sweaty and the trimmer won’t work then. Finally on the Friday night he said to Kalissa do you want to try to cut it. She didn’t care…I didn’t care either. We love him like he is. Again many women would be upset….not me.
If I ask, he will try to do anything for me. If the house has been crazy and I’m behind he’ll do household chores…vacuuming, dishes, his own laundry. He’s not real good at knowing that I need help but if I say anything he’ll gladly volunteer.
He wasn’t always so good. He definitely didn’t come “trained”. We went through our years with the “lid on the toilet”. If I can logically explain anything to him he can jump on board including toilet seats.
We learned long ago in marriage that it’s easy to accept each other…faults and all…than it is to bicker. There are times I wanted him to change, to forgive, to work less but then one day something clicked in my head. I hate that he isn’t better at forgiving…. But he looks at it as standing up for what he believes…I like that. At one time I wished that he wouldn’t still wear a shirt that an old girl friend gave him after we’d been married for 12 years…but I love that he’s frugal. I often wish he wouldn’t work such long hours but I love that he provides for our family.
I’ve gotten so I call this the “double edged sword theory”. There are many things he does that I don’t like…that I actually do like. Times when he’s worked 100 hour work weeks for a couple weeks and finally quits early one night he’ll go to the volunteer fire department meeting rather than come home. I feel frustrated but then I step back and remember that being dedicated and caring about others are exactly the qualities I love about him. I lighten up and just make sure there is some food on the table for him when he gets here. He is not slighting me-he’s doing what he believes is right.
We rarely fight. I can say it’s honestly been about 5 times in the 29 years we’ve been married. There’s just no reason to. As long as we are acting like a team I’m happy and he’s happy too.
I’m so blessed that I have a great guy. His good qualities far out weigh any bad ones. He’s fun. He’s silly. He’s truthful. He’s generous. He’s soft to me, even though he looks gruff. He’s devoted to his family..and especially devoted to me. He’ll go the distance. He’s strong in character. He’s just what I needed in life. I couldn’t ask for a better guy for me.
So…I guess I don’t say too many bad things about him. I only hope that he celebrates many more birthdays and that I can be there for every single one of them.