Many of you have been wondering how Karl is doing. I asked him to write a little update and he did. He did it in Karl’s usual goofy comedy self….
– by Karl’s Receding Hairline, pt. 1
Hello all! It’s your friendly neighborhood receding hairline! Karl has been very busy in Houston and has tasked me with updating *Y’ALL* on his comings and goings, and to give you all a recipe!
Here I am at a recent wedding. See if you can spot me, the receding hair! …oh, that fast? Don’t tell Karl, he’s in denial.
Though, to call it a recipe is like calling a compass a map. Really, it’s more of a general suggestion. A starting point in need of some pen and paper, it’s really more of well, it’s just bad. You see, Karl’s mom has years of experience to call upon when cooking, so when she does it Slumdog Millionaire style and just kinda wings it, she produces straight GOLD. Karl, well…
He saw a video on Instagram for what ended up being baked mozzarella sticks, but with a case/shell of mashed potatoes. Knowing that he loves both of those things, I pointed him in that direction. I knew he needed a bit of a break: my slow and determined retreat across Karl’s head has caused him some stress in his life, but none compared to school for worse, and for better. His first year has been really great, but it’s taken him a second to realize that. Karl started out the year teaching fifth grade Math and he, his principal, and his school came to an apex of understanding at the same time that it really wasn’t a good fit for Karl. Luckily, the administration at school gave him a spot in the second grade. On Thursday morning, he was in fifth grade, we had a meeting, and on Thursday afternoon, he was heading to Second Grade, and he started his new class on Monday morning.
I did a lot of traveling that week. And today!
Karl very proudly acts like a lazy bum on Saturdays and plays his own stereotypical housewife on Sundays. Today, he set out with two recipes in mind: Instapot Chicken and Rice, Egg Frittata, and those Mozzarella Mashed Potato Sticks. However, much like how I have changed and gotten worse over time, the names for Karl’s recipes often begin, and are named, like a well-intentioned culinary expedition through the fields of savory and rivers of supple. But then, calamity! They usually end up looking and sounding like a battle from the Lord of the Rings, as ugly as a bunch of Orcs serving a necromancer trying to end the world.
Really, he started with the Instapot Chicken and Rice and simultaneously messed up both of those things, thinking he could wing it like his very precious Mambo (MOM). He was so very wrong, and instead of having chicken and rice and egg frittata, he mostly just gave up and put the rice, chicken, and egg together to make Chicken Fried Whatever with Egg and Rice, but, as he is wont to do, he also threw some Blue Cheese in there as well because why the heck not and it’s already hot garbage anyways, and ended up with *Creamy* Chicken Fried Whatever with Egg and Rice. Try it with your friends, or maybe people you are trying to subtly mess with or undermine!
Karl really is nothing if not pragmatic. And hungry. More next time!