Kelli sent this photo to Kalissa and I and put the caption, “WOW! What a difference five years has made.”
Oh my word…what an understatement!!
This is our family five years ago. I can hardly believe it. We don’t look the same at all…there are superficial things…my hair was short and is now long. Some of us have lost weight and others gained weight.
The real difference, some of us are not here…and we’ve had many additions.
Life can change in the turn of a calendar page..and even in the blink of an eye.
Six months after this picture was taken, Buck and his wife Jen got a divorce….and less than a year after that, she was killed in a car accident. Buck is now with Lora and they have three kids. He went from the married man to the bachelor to the dad of Scott, Lucy, and Lilly. Lora and Buck built a house and Buck has changed jobs.
At the time this picture was taken, Kayla and Spencer were not interested in having children. I really thought they might choose not to have kids. That changed and now they have Jasper. Kayla has changed jobs too.
Kelli and Jason pushed through infertility issues and now have Georgia. She’s no longer the newbie at work and is very comfortable with her job. We’re not working together in the capacity we previously were…She doesn’t have the time she had which is completely understandable…and she’s expecting twins in May.
Karl has finished college, student taught in Houston, then taught in Houston, and is now back in the area. He works in HR at a company that has many Spanish-speaking workers so does a lot of translation. In his wildest dreams, he never imagined his life would be where it is today. If you would have asked him “What are the chances you’d be working in HR as a translator for a large pork farmer”?, he would have laughed and laughed and said ZERO!
Kalissa and Craig have bought a house. Both have changed jobs…Kalissa twice. Craig is working at the farm Kramer was at. They have two boys, Carver and Gannon.
Me?? What’s different in my life? Well….so much.
My hair and my weight, yep, they are surely different. New glasses even. I’m not doing regular child care.
I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer 6 months after this picture was taken. We thought that was all a bump in the road, but I am still dealing with cancer.
The biggest change for me is that Kramer isn’t here. I never imagined five years ago, that he wouldn’t be here with our family. Yet, here we are.
I’ve had more trouble lately on the grief side of things. I think the shock of Kramer being gone is over. I know it’s crazy, but YES, it can really take that long to get over the shock. I’m to the point that I don’t wonder how life is going to be anymore. This is how it is. He is not here and not coming back. I have lived it long enough since his passing to see what life as a widow is. There are a few aspects I actually enjoy but I’d happily give that up for the old life. I don’t hate this life…but it really isn’t the same at all and I miss that old life with Kramer.
To date, I haven’t embraced this new life…. I feel like I’m getting over the “survival float” stage and slowly learning to swim. One on the outside looking in would think that it’s been 15 months, of course, you should be “over it”. But, that’s not how grief is. Grief is sneaky. When you least expect it and your guard is down, in it pops…and you’re back to “survival floating” for a bit before you can swim again. It’s all a process…that’s for sure.
No worries about me though. Seriously, I’m okay…this is just a rough spot.
This new life does keep me hopping. I’m so thankful for that. This is six of the seven grandkids. We’ve added Lilly since this but I don’t have a grandma picture with them all. They are the best distraction. They came at the perfect time in my life. I’m just sad Kramer is missing out on them.
He used to always say he couldn’t believe that we had five kids and they all so different yet from the same gene pool. I can’t imagine what he’d think of the grandkids who are also so different yet have many of the same genes.
This is a more recent picture but here we’re missing Georgia. It’s from baptism.
I can’t imagine what it will be like in five more years. All of these kiddos will be in school and God willing, if I’m here, I’ll be attending school events. Who knows, maybe there will even be more grandkids…we already know Kelli has two coming. Life has a way of surprising us.
I guess my purpose of this post is to remind myself that life changes so quickly…the turn of a calendar, and things change. What will our family be like six months from now…what will we be like five years from now? Will all of us be there in the next picture? I don’t know…
I’m doing all I can to embrace this new life…and to make it a good one. My kids still need me…so do the grandkids so it’s time to pull up my bootstraps and keep moving forward. Some days, it’s still pretty hard…but most days, it’s getting better.
Here’s to the next five years of the Kramer family…may the bad things be few and the joy be plenty!! The only thing I know for sure is that there will be busy days ahead and I’m going to love on my kids and the grands for as long as I’m here!