oops…this posted earlier and wasn’t supposed to. UGH. If you weren’t one of the lucky ones to see the post then and get the sneak peek, you can read it now.
Well, you’ll never guess what I’m doing…If you guessed driving home from my first day of work, you’d be right. I told you, you would never guess…and I’m guessing I’m right that no one guessed that!!
Over that last month I’ve been contemplating a life change. For me, it’s a big one!! I got a job. Yep, a real-life job and I’m super excited about it. Granted, I wasn’t excited at first…but, that’s all changed and I’m happy about it now.
A bit ago I came to the realization that I was setting my own life aside and living and doing too much for everyone else. I think I was a little lost after my husband passed away and my grandkids started rolling in. I never really stopped to think about what I wanted for my life. My life instead just rolled along with me oblivious to all and I just rolled with it. I was in survival mode and I did what I had to do to survive.
I’m giving myself some grace about all of that and remembering that grief and decisions after losing a spouse are hard and we do what we have to do to get through it.
I was to the point in life I was waking up and looking at everyone else’s calendar and then going about my day according to their calendar. I didn’t make a calendar for myself. People would call and ask me to do things but first, I would check everyone else’s calendar because I made my calendar their calendar. It wasn’t a good place to be.
I needed to cut my own apron strings and go about making a life for myself…and I thought it might be good if that included a job. The job is a little twofold. Let me explain. I make my money blogging and doing all the extra things I do. The blog money comes through advertising. You see ads. I get paid. All along since my husband died I’ve been able to support myself from the advertising dollars…but advertising rates have plummeted. I’m making about half of what want I was previously making so…between needing some extra dollars and needing a life of my own, I made the decision to get a job.
It’s been in the making for over a month now. I’ve been looking for a job but I was being pretty picky. These were my priorities:
-Not a lot of weekend work
-Feel like I was doing good
It was very topsy turvy and I had the worst time coming to any decision. THE WORST. I changed my mind like a revolving door. It was a little scary for me. I haven’t had a job outside the home since 1988!! But finally, I think I found the perfect job. Here’s how it went.
I ended up applying for a para-professional job at two of the schools in the area. The work is acting as a teacher assistant helping with kids who have special needs. I thought that was a good fit but I really don’t like workplaces with a lot of politics and I was a little afraid school might have that. But, it filled a lot of the things I was looking for too.
Then a job was listed at the vet clinic that I take the dogs to. It was more of a bottom-of-the-totem-pole job. There was lots of cleaning, dog walking, kennel cleaning, and grooming assistant-type work. That didn’t sound bad. I do all of that here with the foster dogs. So on a whim, I applied. I hadn’t really thought it through because IT WASN’T PART TIME and having a part job was very high on my list because I really do want to keep blogging. I love blogging…and I want to be an active grandma.
I contemplated starting in-home childcare again. That lasted for about 30 seconds. There is such a need but in the end I really thought I needed to get out of the house!
After fits and starts, I ended up completely changing my mind and decided I wouldn’t get a job outside the home. Instead, I would throw myself at blogging and growing my Youtube channel hoping it would grow and the advertising dollars would come back. I ended up contacting the places I had applied to and told them to please withdraw my application. I did that at about 10 pm at night. I couldn’t stand all the uncertainty anymore and just wanted a decision made. I just told everyone that I found a position that I thought I was comfortable with and should something change, I’d apply again.
I was content with that and finally slept better. I was going to work the job I had REALLY HARD.
The next day the vet clinic called me. They said they got my email but they wanted to know how I felt about something else. They said they had a job they wanted to consider me for. It would be working at the front desk. I would be doing a lot of taking the pets to and from the back kennel area as pets are taken to be groomed or vetted. I would also be doing reception work, checking animals in, and other secretarial-type things.
Well, that sounded pretty good to me. I was so tempted to say yes. I loved the:
-Not a lot of weekend work
-Feel like I was doing good
It hit so many things…but ugh. I want part-time work. I just had to say no. I wanted part-time work.
Well, glory bee! I told them I really only wanted part-time work…and they said that’s good because IT WAS A PART-TIME JOB!! WHAT? Really? It was part-time and the job hit every single one of my wants.
I was thrilled. I asked about pay and it’s totally acceptable. I asked if I could think about it for 24 hours and they said sure.
I thought about it and took the job the next day!! Oh…I’m so happy. Granted I’m a little nervous…but happy. I couldn’t think of a better job for me at this point. I have loved everyone at the vet office. It’s so funny because I already end up there a couple of times a week as they do a lot of vet work for the rescue I volunteer with. I jokingly said one day, I might as well work here as I end up here so often. HA!! …and now I do work there. I’m working about 2-3 days a week. It rotates a bit but is very predictable. The schedule is good. It’s 10 hours days when I do work and I’m totally okay with that. I’d rather have longer shifts and fewer days.
I won’t have the grandkids as much…I’ll miss that but I also think it’s good for me to branch out and make my own life. I’ll likely have grandkids on some Saturdays. My goal is to try to keep my weekdays when I don’t work open so I can still do some foster dog care, work the blog and do the other things I enjoy.
My family is happy for me. I think they could all see I was getting into a bit of a rut and needed a change.
I’m hoping things here on the blog won’t change but they might a little. I’m going to take it how it comes and see how managing things all goes. I might have 10-12 posts a week instead of 14…but I’m not going away. No worries about that!! I would miss you all too much!!
It’s been a long month for me trying to figure out where I wanted to go…what I wanted to do. I have to say this though. I think I am mentally the healthiest I’ve been in years. That is a great place to be!! Stepping out and making my own calendar that includes a job outside the house has been so good for me!