Category Archives: COVID-19

Who Would Have Thought

A year ago our family was in deep.  We were in deep dealing with Kramer’s cancer.  At about this time we started making the daily trips to Lacrosse for radiation and chemo.  At the time we just couldn’t imagine how we were going to this…all these trips.

Then the first week of it was terrible.  Kramer was short of breath…we ended up needed to put him on oxygen.  His oxygen need started to increase.  His headaches kicked in.  We were new to the whole lung cancer scenario, we didn’t know how to cope or what to expect.  It was all a lot.

The other day I was thinking about all we were doing last year at this time.  I couldn’t help but be a little thankful that if Kramer was to have to go through all of that, I’m glad it wasn’t compounded by the things that are happening in our world now.

Chemo patients are already so immune compromised, I can’t imagine the fear of travel and stopping at a gas station to pick up food.  We did that all the time.  If we were doing that now, I’d have to pack lunches….oh my.  Plus, Kramer was TERRIBLE at taking care of himself.  I preached and preached to him to wash his hands more…to use hand sanitizer, he was terrible about it.

All of the fear and anxiety we felt through all of that added to the anxiety of where the world is today would have been so much worse.

Having a plan to work really saved us both.  We knew when we had to leave.  We knew where we needed to go.  The plan always stayed the same so it was easy to work the plan.  In reality, as much as hated it all, working the plan gave us comfort.  It gave us a normal.  We had a focus.  We had a goal.  We worked the plan.

My heart goes out to the many people who are in the situation we were in last year.  I feel so bad for you all that are fighting a serious sickness and fighting the conditions our world is in at the same time.  I’ve heard cases of people with cancer who need surgeries but they are postponed.  I’ve heard some of wondering if they can still go to chemo.

I’ve got a huge soft spot in my heart for all you who have health issues and are stuck without a plan because COVID-19 came.  I have great sympathy, more than ever, for those of you who were trying to work the plan, and the plan is now changing…and a new plan isn’t in sight.  I so remember longing to just have a plan…to just know there was something I could do to move forward even if it was just a baby step, one more treatment…one day closer to the finish line.  I wish I could give you all a giant hug and literally, make the world problems go away.

So many of us think the hardships are being stuck in the house feeling bored, going without mayo on our sandwich because getting more would require a trip to the grocery store….the true hardships are more related to our health….the nurses, doctors and hospital staff, the patients who need care (and not just the COVID-19 care)…these are the people who are dealing with the worst hardships.

If one thing has happened through all of this…people are realizing what a true blessing good health is.

I also have a huge heart right now for recent widows.  I got a message recently from a new widow.  I can’t imagine dealing with all of this and a death too.  It’s hard enough having an empty house because of death let alone adding this to it too.  There were so many things I needed to do after Kramer’s death..the bank, the lawyer, the insurance places, vehicle registration…I can’t imagine how that all plays out through this when asked to stay home.

I can’t imagine going through the uncertainties that come with being a new widow compounded by the events of our world today….my heart goes out to you all.

It the strangest thing…Somehow, COVID-19 is making me thankful for the miserable year I had last year.  It’s somehow put things into perspective for me that things can always be worse.  Man, I hope something in 2021 doesn’t bring me to the realization that this year wasn’t so bad.  What a year…what a life.  Who would have thought?

My heart really does go out to new widows…to people facing uncertain health issues that are and aren’t related to COVID-19…Please don’t feel alone.  Drop a comment here.  I’m sure there are many who would happily lend a ear…write a note of support…help with ideas.  If you don’t feel comfortable with that, email me.  I’d be happy to be a listening ear.  I don’t want anyone to feel alone.

A Sad Last Day and Testing Day

Yesterday was my last day of childcare for a bit.  What the word “bit” means, I don’t know.  As of now I’m going with the school schedule and currently that means April 16th…but we all know how life is now.  All of that is a moving target.

Over the weekend I had talked to my families after the announcement came that school was closing telling them that I would try to stay open and that I was releasing the clause in the contract that required them to pay for day that they missed of childcare.  Part of that was selfish that didn’t want sick kids here…the other part was compassion.  I didn’t want my families to be in a bind and have yet another thing to worry about.

Monday, I told them I was closing after my doctor reminded me of the risk I was taking being I was immunocompromised.  At that time, I released the parents from their contracts telling them if they found care sooner, they were free to leave but I was closing on Thursday.

By the time Thursday rolled around, I had three kids here.  It was a bittersweet day.  I was so happy to have some days to myself, yet so sad over the circumstances that brought us here and so sad there were so many things with the kids that I could now be missing.

One girl is so close to potty training…I think I’m going to miss that.  Kids have loose teeth.  I’m going to miss that.  There are so many things that I won’t be a part of….The childcare kids really do start to feel much like my grandkids. was a sad day….I enjoy a quiet house over the weekends but I’m so afraid the house is going to get too quiet.  The kids have been the best distraction for me over the last year…I know it sounds crazy but their chaos has kept me sane.

It’s uncharted territory for sure.

Speaking of uncharted territory…. Continue reading