So Kalissa and were out and met someone we both know. I’ve known the person for 25 years at least. We aren’t close friends but I know them and consider them to be a very nice person. Carver was with us. We were chatting. Carver was restless so I took him off and helped him and was away from the conversation.
After a short bit Kalissa caught up to me and said, “Oh my, that was awkward.” I didn’t know what was up, so I asked, and she told me that after I left with Carver, the person asked- “So how’s your mom’s cancer?” Then following that response she asked, “How’s she doing without your Dad?”
People, STOP! Please STOP! I am not mad about this. It’s human nature. We all wonder about the widow in the room. We all wonder about the person with medical issues. We all want to ask. We all wonder. It’s natural. It’s normal and it’s entirely okay. But…let’s find a better way to ask about it.
We all have been places and all of us were aware that there was “an elephant in the room”, a topic people wanted to talk about yet didn’t.
So…today I’m writing this to help you all who feel uncomfortable talking about the “elephant”.
Number one thing I want everyone to know:
I don’t mind if anyone talks to me about Kramer (my husband who died in June of 2019). I don’t mind it a bit. I love it in fact. By you talking about him, it lets me know that someone else besides me is missing him. It also lets me know that you care about me. Talking about him lightens my load and the grief we bare is shared. The load is lightened. That’s awesome. Yes, I might get a tear in my eye with a shared memory but that tear isn’t hurting me. It’s helping me.
The problem is…how does one mention “the elephant”? How do you bring it up in conversation?
Here’s my suggestion: …
The Elephant in the RoomRead More »