Admittedly, at childcare, Carver is by far the hardest kid to take care of. Kalissa knows it. I know it. The childcare families know it.
We’ve had to work through a lot of things with him. He’s been a biter. He’s been a hitter. He’s been a toy stealer. Don’t let that little grin on his face fool you. He can be the sweetest kiddo to me…but he can be not so nice to his friends.
Part of is that he’s territorial. I’m his grandma. This is his grandma’s house. He thinks everything here is his. I can’t tell you how many times I tell him the toys are mine and I’m sharing them with his friends too.
Last year at this time our big problem was biting. Yes, that cute little grin could bite. That got better. Then he graduated to hitting. That got better. Now he’s taken to tattling. As much as I hate tattling, it’s better that he tattles vs taking toys away from other. We seriously have tried everything and after he got his adenoids out, things have been markedly better to the point he’s pretty much a normal almost three year old when it comes to handling his actions. Oh from time to time we still have issues, but nothing like before. He’s far from perfect but I have lots of hope that he’s getting himself figured out.
Last week on Friday we ended up having an incident. I had the kids outside playing in the backyard. When we go out and I have babies here, I take some baby equipment out and the babies hang with me in the shade on the back cement area just out the door.
We had played outside for about an hour and a half. I told the kids it was time to clean up and soon we’d be going in. They were okay with that and started cleaning. While they cleaned, I started taking the babies in. We got things cleaned and then the kids came in. Georgia was still outside. I turned to go get her and one kiddo was closing the door and Carver was standing next to him. Carver ended up pushing the kid and screamed at him, “You no leave my Georgie outside”. Ah…what an issue!! He ended up running outside and went into protective mode for “his Georgie”.
These are times it’s so hard to be a childcare provider. No he can’t push kids…but he was trying to protect Georgia and didn’t understand. Thankfully in wasn’t a hard push didn’t amount to anything. The kid he pushed was only startled and not at all hurt. I got Carver inside. I got Georgia inside and then I had to talk to him.
I have to say I do love that he’s protective and caring to Georgie…he’s that way to Gannon too. I just don’t love how he handled the situation.
I don’t want to create a tattler but that’s what I had to tell him to do if that ever happens again after all tattling is better that pushing. He needs to come and tell me. Seriously…being a childcare provider can be so hard. Dealing with your own grandchildren at childcare adds to it all. He was right to want to help Georgie but not right in how he handled it. How do you explain that to a three year old?? I muddled through it.
…and so goes the saga of being a childcare provider, a grandma, and dealing with Carver and his Georgie.
I feel your frustration Jo. Got to love that smile though.
It is hard to have grand kids with others, I did it too and the best part is they are friends to this day. I had 3 girls and 1 boy, they played good. They stayed together through high school. I didn’t have as many as you have, so it was kind of easy.
Perhaps he is acting out because he has not found a way to express his feelings about what all has happened with his family of late. He may not understand it but he knows there has been a lot of stress. Maybe talk to him about how he feels about it all and do some play therapy to draw some pictures about how he feels. I hope it helps. Praying for you.
Difficult situations for sure when it involves your grands and others. But then that’s his “Georgie” and you have to cut him some slack for being protective. Middle through is just what to do and hope he understands a little of what you are trying to teach him. Boy was I lucky, none of my grands were bitters or hitters or pushers but boy were they tattlers. But I’ll take a tattler any day over a biter. I think you handled things just fine.
Love, hugs and prayers coming your way.
Use your words, please, Carver. Ask your friend to leave the door open for Georgie. No pushing necessary. Poor, Jo! What a challenging position.
It will continue to take a lot of patience and love. Sending caring and supportive thoughts to you, and Kalissa!!
I know exactly where you are coming from! They behave just like my kids did when I did childcare but now with the grands we are 30 years older! So happy that I can take care of them but yes they do push your buttons!
When I taught preschool we had a huge rattling issue, so I printed a picture of an ear off and set the expectation that as long as no one was hurt or bleeding they could go to tell the ear their issue, worked like a charm!
Oh Jo, I know what you’re going through. I babysit my Grands and my youngest grand daughter was a biter/ hitter about those ages. Thank God we worked through that both of my grand daughters were and are tattlers. Patience and repeated warnings as to what was except able tattling is finally sinking in they’re 5 & 6 almost 6 &7 so we’re getting there. I love your grands stories. So much fun and difficulties. Praying constantly does help tremendously.
It’s great that you recognize his faults. Sometimes, parents, grandparents, or even day care providers with a favorite, let their child get away with anything and everything. You handled it well!
When my granddaughter was in day care, she bit someone – totally unlike her. When questioned, it turned out the child she bit was very dark skinned (the grandchildren are biracial). My granddaughter said “I just wanted to taste her”. Lol. Who can argue with that?!?!
What a challenge for you Jo, I can see that being a child care person has lots of struggles. Carver is getting good guidance from you.