Well Monday was biopsy day…AGAIN.
I was lucky that Kelli was free and willing to come over and watch the childcare kiddos while I drove to Lacrosse for my procedure. I stuck around long enough to get her going and get lunch somewhat started but then off I went.
The drives over and back this fall have been nice. It’s amazing the chances that have happened with the trees and the farm fields over the last week. Farmers have been able to get in the fields and bring in the crops.
Here the corn is in..the beans are in and round bales are made.
Last week…none of this. The crops were all standing in the fields. Farmers have so needed this last week.
I made it to Lacrosse with a stop to go to the bathroom and fill the tank along the way.
I went up to the waiting area and was quickly called back. They started to go into the whole spiel explaining a needle biopsy to me and I smiled and said, “This is my sixth one…I know the drill”. I went on to explain that back in 2016 after my first needle biopsy the pathology came back as inconclusive. I had the option to remove my thyroid or keep coming back for the needle biopsies. I opted to remove it….but look. Here I am coming back for yet another needle biopsy. And that’s when the radiologist walked in. Hmmm.
Today they were looking at the left side of my neck. He said they were taking four samplings from two lymph nodes. The thought is that my original cancer was on the left side of my neck so if it has come back, it would likely be on the left side. He found one node that again, “looked suspicious”. It was it was actually more under my chin than in my neck. He numbed me up and took the sampling. Then numbed me up again and did a sampling from the largest node he could find even though that one didn’t look suspicious.
I was numb from my jaw down to my collar bone. He really numbed me up good this time but that made moving my neck quite awkward. In reality, I probably should have had a driver but as I said, I’ve done this before and have never been numbed up like I was this time.
The two nurses that were helping were great. One of them said something about “her being sorry I had to do these repeated tests”. I said back, “This is nothing. My husband died in June of lung cancer.” That’s about when I started crying. Oh jeepers. UGH. How embarrassing! I wiped my tears and headed to the nearest bathroom.
So many of you have said, “Oh you’re so strong.” I’m really not. I’m just putting one foot in front of the other and hoping for the best…but occasionally, I end up taking a step back.
I got myself together enough and headed to the car. My plan was to make a quick stop to the quilt shop..and I did. Then I headed back across the bridge to Minnesota and on to Caledonia. I got some gas station chicken tenders and ate them on the road. I had talked to Kelli on the phone while at the gas station and she told me to make sure that I stopped at the thrift store while I was driving home.
I did and was glad I stopped. I’ll tell you more about that in another blog post. That was my only stop…I forgot about my medicine and skipped my other errands.
I just wanted to be home. My neck was sore, my brain was tired and my heart was hurting. I do pretty good most of the time….just not this day. I’ll admit, I’m pretty tired of the not knowing what’s happening in my own body. I’m getting to the point I need a plan.
I hit Jackson Junction and headed south. There was the farm. I was in country…back in my safe zone..and only a few miles from my house.
Yes the house was filled with kids…yes they’d all be asking questions about why I had bandaids on my neck. Yes they’d all want to ask questions like “Did the doctor cut you?” That’s my comfort zone….hanging with the little people I love who love me right back.
I just love how they all can ask their questions, hug me and love on me and not make me feel like the elephant in the room. I’ve said it time and time again, I love these guys so much. They really are my people.
It was good to be home…and now we wait. 48-72 hours for the biopsy results. One of my childcare parents commented that waiting that long was a long time. Not really…I’ve been waiting for test results and decisions for either Kramer or I all year long. 48-72 hours is no big deal.
Sorry for the not so happy upbeat post…I’m just doing what people say I do, “keeping it real”…and occasionally, this is my reality.