This is somewhat of a touchy subject I am hoping you might be able to help me with. Hubby and I both come from pretty big extended families and sometimes, things can be a little tricky. In the picture below are my parents in the middle in the back. My mom’s parents are to the way left-my great grandma in the wheel chair-I’m the pouty five year old-my sister and her husband are to the far right with their daughter on my sister’s lap.
You can see there’s a big age difference between my sister and I…..16 years. There is only 4 years between her daughter and I.
MANY years later I had the youngest grandchild and my niece had the oldest great grandchild just one month later. In light of that, my sister always seemed more like an aunt to me. My niece seemed more like a cousin.
Amazingly, my Hubby’s family is worse. There are 22 years between the oldest and the youngest. He has five sisters-I have one sister with three brother in between us.
Some of the families we are really close to-others not so much. Hubby and I have MANY-MANY great nieces and nephews. Hubby even now has some great-great nieces and nephews. The family just keeps extending and extending. Our daughter Kalissa was the 20th grandchild and after that my brother remarried and his wife has two kids so that makes 22. All of my siblings have grandchildren some with 15 or 18.
Now comes the hard part. Some of the family we see regularly. Some we don’t see. I don’t think Hubby has even seen his great-great nieces and nephews. We have several nieces and nephews that we haven’t seen since our parents died and that’s been some time ago. We have some great nieces and nephews that we haven’t seen for a long time.
Now add in weddings, bridal showers, graduations and the like….how does one go to these events and how does one invite family to events? We’ve had this talk at our house so many times and I’ve yet to come to a good solution.
We get invitations to some things and I sometimes think- Really? I haven’t seen you in five years. We get invitations to other things and I am just thrilled to go and be part of the event.
You can imagine there are a lot of things always going on. Two years ago we had five graduations, two weddings, and an anniversary that all happened in a three month period. All of the events are about a two hour drive away.
When Kelli got married we only had room in the church for 125 people. Honestly, I think if all of the family of both sides were counted up, we’d likely be over that!
So readers….What I am asking is this….If I am invited to an event, which things do I have to go to? (honestly sometimes I feel like I’m invited just for a present) If I am inviting people to an event, which people do I invite? With Buck’s wedding we had friends that we really wanted to invite but couldn’t because we invited so much family…then they didn’t come. UGH.
Along the same lines…who do I have to send a present to if I’m not going to make it?
Hubby says-if I haven’t seen them in five years..they are out. If I wouldn’t recognize them on the street (yes, some are that way) they are out. In light of that when Buck got married Buck did opt to not invite a few family members and we said that was his choice. There was backlash over that…but honestly it was Buck’s choice and he said that he couldn’t remember the last time he had seen the person.
Some of the family I wouldn’t pick as friends. Some I wish lived in my town. It’s so hard. There are no clear lines. Hubby has nephews that are close to his age that are more like cousins. Other nieces and nephews he hardly knows and would be pressed to keep up a conversation with.
It’s so hard to know what’s right and what’s not right. I’m hoping you might be able to help me sort through it all…so advice please?