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Ask Jo: Where I’m Headed

Every so often questions and comments come from readers that I think others would like to hear my response to.  That’s when I feature them on the blog.  This is one of those days.

When I was doing my live video last week, I had a viewer ask if I was still submitting quilts for publication anymore.  It was a spur-of-the-moment answer that I said just off the cuff without really thinking about it.  A little more time has passed and the question has really stuck in my brain. I want to really thank the viewer who asked the question because I think it pointed me on a path and I now have more of a focus.  Let me explain…

I love domestic life.  I love cooking…I don’t hate household chores…I love raising kids.  Crafting and sewing are at the top of my list.  I enjoy gardening.  I like caring for animals.  Domestic life is the life for me.  I’ve never had big career ambitions.  I’ve been pretty content to be the mom and wife…and now a grandma.  Whatever work I’ve done has been a sideline job with my focus always on raising the kids.  If the job has taken me too far from my domestic life, I’ve always left that job.


Back in 2015 when… Kelli and I had our quilt book Country Girl Modern published, we thought it was so cool…but then, things changed.  They wanted us to travel and promote the book.  They wanted us to get out and hit guild meetings and go to Houston to the quilt show and do a schoolhouse session.  Oops.  We didn’t sign up for that.  We had no desire to do that.  I’m an Iowa girl that is perfectly content staying in Iowa…more than that, I’m perfectly content staying in NE Iowa…really, I’m perfectly content to stay in my house.  It wasn’t a good fit for either my daughter Kelli or me.  Travel isn’t our thing.  It’s one of the many reasons we left book writing behind.

During that time I was teaching evening classes for childcare providers so they could keep up with their continuing education requirements.  It was going okay in fact, I very much enjoyed teaching the classes. But things changed.  Requirements to teach changed.  My two-year degree was okay but I started to be pressured to get my four-year degree and move up the ladder.  I was asked to comply with changing requirements that I didn’t agree with…I quickly realized that wasn’t for me.  I didn’t want a career.  I didn’t want to move up the ladder.  I really just wanted to be the mom and wife.  Domestic life was a bigger call to me.

Several times in my life I’ve been at the spot where I either need to get some wings and fly or throw out my anchor.  The anchor wins every time.  My house and family are always the louder calling for me.  I’m not settling.  I’m not giving up.  I’m not afraid of trying.  I just know that the job, the project, or the idea no longer fits with my goal and need to be here, doing what I love best…being here for my family, living a domestic life.

This is why blogging is the best fit for me that I’ve ever-ever had.  I can do my domestic life stint and share it all with you.  I truly love it.  I can cook and write a blog post about it.  I can help foster dogs and write about it.  I can do all of the things and write about them.  I can have my domestic life and pay the bills too.

Recently Kalissa and I went to a Reset Conference for business people.  I don’t know that I’m a business person with the blog but Kalissa, my daughter, talked me into going.  I actually got a lot out of it.  The main thing…I refound my focus and found that I could be excited about it all over again.

I learned that I can “just be me” and be more comfortable in that skin…

I no longer had to hide that I love thrifting.  I no longer had to embrace the industry and feel like I had to make quilts from fabric lines.  I found I could admit that I don’t always follow the quilting “rules”…such as using sheets for the backing of quilts.  I found it’s okay that I admit that I rarely buy fabric at quilt shops…I rarely even go to them.

I felt I could really embrace what I love like… scrap quilting.  I love using what I have.  I love finishing other people’s UFOs.  I love the old make-do attitude of our ancestors.  I’m totally not a buyer when it comes to quilting…and I can say that right out loud…now that I’ve thrown out my anchor and embraced my true need to live a domestic life with zero career ambitions I am so much happier.

Just think about this…what person who has their quilts published in national magazines, uses sheets on the back of their quilt.  What person in national magazines rarely presses their pieces?  Who doesn’t have a fancy sewing studio?  Who cuts out their quilts on their kitchen island?  I’ve just started to wonder if I am the best fit for magazines.  I feel like I have to be something different to fit in with that crowd.

The place that this realization has led me to isn’t magazines…it isn’t writing quilt books…It’s blogging and now Youtube videos and more than ever.  It’s made me realize that I am happiest being the authentic me.  On the blog and on Youtube, I don’t have to worry if I fit the mold.  I can just be me because there is no real mold a blogger or Youtube video maker really needs to try to fit in.  Both are open-ended places where a person can be themselves and where people either like what the blogger/Youtuber is doing or they move on.

Somehow, with some pushing from my daughter Kalissa, Youtube is more and more feeling like a better fit for me than other paths I have been down.  You all have been very responsive to videos.  I feel like I’m helping people when I made them.  I can’t tell you how many people have commented or messaged me saying, “I had that companion angle ruler and never knew what to do with it”.  Well, I want to teach you how to use it.  What good is it doing lying in a drawer…and those scraps you have…what good are they if you don’t dive in and use them?  I’d love to be your cheerleader and help you along and use them.

I’m so excited to share a more authentic me.  I’m so excited to not have to try to fit into a mold.  I feel like this is Jo 2.0.

Sure I might do a quilt for a magazine now and then but they have changed too.  They don’t really want me to show you what I’m working on.  They don’t really want me to say anything about the pattern before it’s published.  I just don’t know that I fit with magazine publications as I previously did.

I like to show you how I designed something on EQ.  I like to talk to you about the hows and why of the decisions I made in making the quilt.  I want to ask for your input because you all have great ideas and you have inspired me to make better decisions with my quilts.  Being open and sharing the process with you is really such a better fit for me.  I hate keeping secrets and I don’t want to keep them from you.

I’m having so much fun showing you what I’m making and what I’m doing.  I’m having fun making a video and letting you sew along with me if you want to.  It all feels so much more like a community.  It feels like more of a place that I want to be.  I don’t want to be elite.  I want to be right with you.

The other thing I love about the blog and Youtube, there are no big deadlines hanging over my head.  You all know I really will get to things as time allows but you aren’t pushing and limiting me on juggling all of the other things I need to do.  I love that!

So…as to submitting quilts to magazines, we do have a quilt coming out in American Patchwork and Quilting in the 30th anniversary coming out this spring.  Other than that, nothing else is in the making.

There are blog posts and Youtube ideas in the working.  I’m such a better fit there and MANY thanks to the viewer who helped me realize I’m right where I need and want to be!

71 thoughts on “Ask Jo: Where I’m Headed”

  1. I really enjoyed your post. What a clear logical way of assessing yourself and how you go forward. Personally I’m loving your posts about all the aspects of your life and the videos which are so clear and helpful. I love being in your kitchen, sewing room, garden and enjoying your children and grandchildren and your dogs – even though I’m not a doggy person. Carry on being you, Jo, you’ve got it sorted!

  2. You go Jo! Sounds like you are really making great decisions. I love your sharing and how “down to earth” you are. I find myself saying I have a friend Jo and she …oh I read her blog. ❤️

    1. What a great post, Jo! I wish everyone could be as clear-eyed and self-assured as you! I’ve always fought the balance between career and home life, loving both to differing degrees at differing times of my life. Home life with young children then career as an empty-nester. But like you, I am happily domestic in my later years (although I would still love to visit a few countries – but maybe just virtually at this stage!). I absolutely love the blog, videos and community of friends, family, quilters and stitchers you’ve created. Thank you!

  3. I love following you and your methods. I buy most of my fabric at the thrift store. I’m sure it is people cleaning out Grandma’s sewing room as many of the pieces are 3 yds, some holiday fabrics that I’m sure were intended for a Halloween quilt or 4th of July picnic blanket, lots and lots of flower prints. I just can’t see spending $15/yd when the thrift store has it for $1 yd (okay, I’m willing to pay $2)

    I don’t like having to be perfect in cutting so like the scrappy quilts. It seems that that was what quilting started as, using the scraps to make a useful item.

    Keep teaching me.

  4. I cannot tell you the number of times I have mentioned your blog about the woman in Iowa who does so many interesting things. Keep up the blogging and doing it your way. I am always grateful I got to meet you and Bonnie at the retreat you set up.

  5. Jo, I had been watching your videos as I sew for company in the room. I had not read any of your blogs until you mentioned thyroid cancer. Since I was recently diagnosed with thyroid cancer, I thought I would check out your blog. From that point on, I was hooked because of your honesty. I believe my Lord and Savior sent me to you because I needed reassurance that I can do this. Everything is really scary!, but with the support of God, my family, friends, and coworkers, I can do this. Still a little freaked out about the ‘radical neck dissection’.

    I love that you use old clothes to make quilts. I feel that is true quilting. I have to admit, I buy large quantities of a cream, grey, and black for sashing. I always ask for old sheets for the backing. All of my fabric has come from marketplace or clothes. My grandma made a lot of quilts and all the fabric was from old clothes.

  6. Jo, Thank you for being so clear and honest. I had wondered about how you handled the pressure to go, do and be everywhere you’re wanted. The answer is simple you blog and do videos as you have time. You choose to do you. I don’t know how many times I’ve mentioned your blog to family and friends. I consider you my go to friend when I have a question about sewing. Your blogs cover so much about it. But your family comes first. Please keep doing you.

  7. Hooray Jo, you do you! I feel the same way, always loved being home and doing my own thing. Quilt on and we’ll be following along!

  8. Smart woman to know what you want. Jo, I love how you express your feelings and enjoy your writing style. Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to more Sew with Jo videos.

  9. Oh my, I enjoyed reading all of this. I’m another one who talks about my friend, Jo, in Iowa. It’s not just young people that need to think about where they’re going! Thank you, Jo, for always being the best you and sharing it all with us.

  10. Wonderful news!
    I have watched several of your videos (and have been reading your blog for several years). You have such a ‘real’ approach to quilting- no rules – here’s my way if you want to try it approach. And you write so well that I feel like I’m having my coffee and conversation with a friend.
    Thank you.

  11. Jo, I loved this post so much. I was a career woman and invested too much of my health and time working for others and now at 72, I am retired. I kept buying fabric and kits for years planning to spend my retirement years quilting, knitting and wool applique. Sadly, I am not able to do what I imagined because of a rare immune disorder that has progressed and is attacking my central nervous system with symptoms much like MS and a rare cancer that has recurred once since it started and treatments are trial and see what happens. There are no FDA approved meds because of its rarity. My heart was heavy for you when you went through treatment this past winter. My last treatment really kicked me in my kiester. I am so glad for my relationship with Jesus because he helps me move ahead each day. I have accepted that I am no longer able to catch a tiger by the tail, but I can use weighted gloves at the sewing machine to handle my hand tremors and I am working on a way to continue doing wool applique (a major favorite) and I can PRAY for every family member and friend and be grateful for what I can still do. My regret is allowing my careers own me for so long, but I also know that I am not alone in that regard.

    1. Katherine, thanks so much for sharing your story. It’s a good message we all need to hear. I hope you can tackle a few of those projects and am so thankful there are things like weighted gloves to help you.

  12. Jo, you are my morning fix, along with my coffee and a slice of banana bread (homemade). I look forward to your down to earth style, I am getting so acquainted with your kids and grandkids and love all the activity at your home. Stay the course and enjoy life, do what makes you happy, it’s not a dress rehearsal.

  13. It’s always great to know what you love and also to be able to make living doing what you love! I love reading your blog and glad it’s still a part of your path. You previously mentioned that you don’t enjoy writing patterns and that was a reason you sent your quilts to magazines. Does this new path mean there won’t be new patterns from you?

  14. Jo,
    Keep learning and growing and “You being You.” Love reading your blog and following your growth and changes as the years go by. We support and Love you and so appreciate all your shares! Your tips and advise is very much enjoyed and used!!

  15. Bless your heart! I discovered during COVID that I can be very happy without all the busy work things that I thought I had to do to please others! I’d never been a quilter, but I started watching YouTube videos and–now I’m addicted. Give me an afternoon alone with my sewing machine and I’m happy! Faith, Family, and FABRIC!

  16. Yay Jo! Being yourself as you share your life and crafter / maker journey is precisely why I follow and appreciate you! All the very best wishes. I’m definitely going to keep reading and watching.

  17. This is a great post, I so enjoyed reading it. I’ve not watched any videos but I probably will. I think you made a video about Lori Holts HST thingy and I bought it on your recommendation but I’m just not sure how to use it. I totally recognize that I’m not mechanical or computer literate so I have to slowly watch things for me to get it to work. We are two very different kinds of women but I do enjoy reading about your life and I really enjoy seeing the children and dogs. Keep hanging in there, you are doing great.

  18. Great post, Jo! I really relate to what you’re saying and I’m so grateful for your authentic voice in blogland and on YouTube. You have cultivated a fine community of extended “family” and friends. Keep on keepin’ it real and doing what you love!

  19. Absolutely loved reading this post, Jo! I so appreciate your honesty. Life has thrown you so many loops over the years I’ve followed your blog. Instead of becoming bitter, you have met things head on and have adapted. Thank you for being you!

  20. Jo, I love how a simple Yes/No question began a train of thought for you of “this or that”!!!! I think we often talk ourselves into or out of our hearts’ preference. I worked full time plus from 15 to 58. My career was in the operating room as a Scrub Tech first and then RN step by step like Kalissa did to achieve her professional goals. I saved and saved $, I had little time/energy to spend it. At 58 I realized I was so very done with my career. No one who knew me believed me….except my husband and I am so grateful he is with me day after day. At 61, I am thrilled with my decision. Like you, I am now homemaker, gardener, quilter, cross-stitcher, walker, hiker, downhill skier. I do however, love travel. I’ve met a handful of online quilting friends and developed some real relationships there, now visiting them annually!

    Can I make a recommendation? Add a “buy me coffee” button like Pink Shoelaces blog. Suggest that when we use an idea you’ve written or learned a new technique that we buy you a coffee! $5 lessons are super cheap in this world.

    Cheers to you Jo! You’ve given every one of your readers a great map for thought process and decision making.

  21. So Jo you have come to the place of being yourself. That is a long journey. I love that you have definite ideas about who you are. Welcome to your happy place.

  22. Susan the Farm Quilter

    I’ve been reading about your life since you were living on the farm. The road you have taken, from buying your town home, all the beautiful grands, the illnesses of you, Kramer, kids and grands, daycare kiddos, cross-stitching and quilting, with the underpinning of your faith throughout it all…it has been a most wonderful story you are writing with your life and sharing with us. Your love of family comes through so loud and clear – definitely an encouragement for other moms who struggle with the “just a SAHM” job. Honestly, it rather reminds me of the Little House on the Prairie saga…just real life for you, yet you have a way of opening up your heart and gathering us all into your world with your words and pictures. One thing I have noticed is that you are endlessly giving in so many ways to so many people. I also just love your “family first” policy, always!!

  23. Jo, I read you every morning with my coffee. You are more my style of quilter. It seems like the longer I quilt, the more I figure out what I am not going to worry about anymore. Quilting and life in general. You just go on being you. That is perfect. We will keep reading and watching. PS. I absolutely love the thrifting.

  24. Great post Jo! The best thing about life is enjoying what you do, grandchildren, fostering dogs, and quilting what you like make up a wonderful life. I am a lot like you in the fact that I prefer to stay at home and blogging about quilting is what has always made me happy. I know both of us have been blogging for a long time, this is what we love. I keep thinking about doing videos but it hasn’t happened yet. It has been one week since we got Rusty from you and he is the sweetest! Thanks so much!

  25. Jo, many thanks for this blog post! So happy for you for your self-realization and for us that it means we may even see more of you. Thanks for being you and sharing your journeys with us. Valuable lessons are being shared here!

  26. Jo,
    I enjoy your post so much. I have so many scraps and just can not bring myself to use them. I have trouble shifting in to putting pieces together that aren’t in the same color family and don’t blend well. Yours always look so great whether the piece match with the next or not.
    Trying so hard to step out of the box and do that. Any suggestions for me.
    Thanks

    1. I have a suggestion. I stack up my scrappy squares or strings and just start sewing. I let the Universe dictate the way they go together.

  27. I love your blog!! I look forward to see what you have been up to and the Youtube is wonderful! You give so much information and make it so I can understand how to do it. Thank you for all that you share with all of us. You are a treasure! ❤

  28. Yay for our authentic selves!! Mine came to me a few years before I retired…I wanted to quilt. All the time. In my jammies. I finally got to do that and I’m so happy!! Nothing bothers me now. You go and be happy and we’ll see you on YouTube!!

  29. I’m so happy you’ve found your happy place in life. I quit college with a high GPA in case I ever decided to return but over fifteen years later I still haven’t returned. Yes I was able to apply much of what I learned in college to my business, but I ultimately chose to be a stay-at-home mom who does enough work on the side to supplement our business income. I’ve always loved scrappy quilts and most of my fabric was thrifted. I love looking through the racks and finding unique pieces to add to my quilts. I can honestly say I’m finally at my happy place too!

  30. Aww, c’mon, Jo! You don’t have to publish, or even attend the International Quilt Festival. In fact, you could just come to Houston to see me! I promise to keep it all a secret — just give me a few minutes notice and I’ll be ready to host you privately in Houston, Texas.

  31. I loved your post. I can relate to you as I love to stay at home also. It is ok to be who we are. I liked your site the first time I watched it. Keep on being you.

  32. Although I did work outside the home (by necessity), you have expressed perfectly how I’ve always felt. There is no higher calling than raising your children to be caring, responsible adults…and then grandchildren if you are blessed to have them. I’ve added Gannon to my prayer list…hoping he is feeling better SOON!

  33. I love spending time with you Jo, and I love that you like to spend time with us! Woo Hoo! It’s a win win for all of us!

  34. Jo, I love you for who you are. The minute you start to make something you love a business, the joy gets sucked out of it. I read you every day because it is like a phone call to a girlfriend. You take the pressure off quilting and just enjoy the ride. I make comfort quilts and give them away. I am blessed to be able to do that. I don’t want to make an award winning, on the edge quilt. I don’t even subscribe to magazines anymore because they are starched and cold. I watch Youtube videos, read blogs and write one. Thank you for being courageous to stand up for who you are.

  35. Wonderfully said! I love that you are being the best authentic person that you can be. Keep being you and doing what fits you! That is what draws me to you. Live your videos and your sharing of your every day life.

  36. Fabulous! Isn’t it great to know yourself, and have the confidence to live the way you want to live?
    We have much in common as far as being a homebody.
    We all have natural personalities, and perhaps so many people are unhappy with their jobs because they work outside of that. It seems that the pandemic has sparked a change in attitude about what we value.

  37. Way to go Jo! Isn’t is SO liberating to realize you don’t fit but that’s okay because you can be the real you rather than having to fake it.

    My first husband tried pushing me to do things that just didn’t sit with who I am (going to college and getting a high paying job). It was part of what lead to our divorce – I wasn’t the person he wanted me to be. I’m now content with who I am and my simple life with my “new” husband. I put new in quotations because we’ve now been married 10 years. :-)

  38. Do what best suits you and no one else. I finaly figured that out 5 years ago when Ieft a job I had worked at for 11 years for a new new company with a lot less stress. I’ve been very happy with my choice. I’m going to be even more happy when I retire next July.
    Jo I love your You Tube videos. I like your ideas and your instructions. Keep themcoming.

  39. I love reading your blog posts and watching your videos. I too have a companion angle ruler and easy angle ruler and now I have ideas on how to actually use them!

  40. I really enjoy your honesty in everything! I love watching your videos and reading your blogposts about everything, not just sewing. I wish I lived closer

  41. I love this! I always felt I was an underachiever when I let opportunities pass me by, but they didn’t feel right and working full-time was beyond my capabilities with fibromyalgia anyway. You have helped me realize that my choices were absolutely right for me and my family. I love being retired because the pressure from society to always be more is gone. It’s fabulous!

  42. Good for you! I can’t tell you how much I admire what you do. You are so down to earth and matter of fact about your talent. You INSPIRE me in so many different ways, Jo! We have so many things in common, it is crazy. One of these days I just might start blogging again! I love your priorities. Family always first. I am a praying person and Gannon is in them. Love your quilting, your cross stitching. LOVE your thrift find posts. It’s just a different version of archaeology. Treasure hunting! Keep on being you! I know I don’t really need to say that because that’s exactly what you have decided to do. Love it!

  43. Wow! We could be sister’s! I haven’t been to a true quilt shop in years either and find it so much more fun to “dig” for scraps and fabric that I can use at thrift shops, grab bags at quilt shows. The fun is in the figuring out how to put the scrap puzzle together in creative ways. Sheets are great backings. Loved this post. It encouraged me to not be shy about being my authentic self.

  44. Please Jo, always be yourself and don’t let any negative comments get to you. I just read all the responses to your post and love all the positive comments and thoughts shared by all your readers. You are a lovely person and a very, very talented lady with a beautiful family. Keep up the good work. Blessings on all of you and a special prayer for little Gannon.

  45. I’m thrilled to hear this. You are fabulous just exactly as you are. Please don’t change a thing you are comfortable with.
    I had a short career as a nurse, but I worked out of necessity. My heart has always been home – homeschooling my kids, gardening, quilting, sewing, crocheting, cooking, canning, and the whole nine yards. I loved my patients, but I loved my family so much more. It was a such relief to be home again when I left the workforce. Now that grandkids are getting older, and we will be moving to be closer to them, the ties to home have only grown.
    You’re wonderful for sharing all you do with us. Thank you.

  46. Go, Jo 2.0, go!!! SEW glad to hear that you are living your authentic life! I often wondered about how you EVER managed those deadline projects with everything else you have going on. Here’s to living a less stressed quilting life!

  47. I enjoyed reading this post. I have also enjoyed your recent videos. You are a really good teacher. One thing really stuck out for me. I would really like to learn to appreciate and use my EQ8. Would you be willing to start a video that would take it really slow?

  48. Well said. I used to tell my children, “I don’t want to be a chief; I want to be an Indian.” And, I often ask “who the heck are the quilt police?” Yes, home is truly where the heart is. I love decorating, cross stitch, needlepoint, knitting, sewing and quilting. As you said in a previous post, “You do you.” Thank you for this post.

  49. Jo, I enjoy your blog so much and today’s blog really hits home. Thank you for being real and sharing so freely about yourself and your family. The world needs more of this. I am a high school teacher and am 53 years old. I love my job and my students, but am looking forward to retirement and staying home and doing things I want to do. I am happy for you. I think you are making the best decision for yourself and your family. I pray that your health stays good and that your grandbaby improves and comes home soon!

  50. I JUST have started watching your YOU TUBE videos–enjoying them—- love reading the blog and seeing what you are doing-your family–pictures of all of them -and what every body is up to—so I say YOU GO GIRL!! BE YOU!! Wherever and whatever that may be.

  51. AND this is why I enjoy reading your blog, I can relate with you; home, family and some fun with quilting. I also enjoy doing Kumihimo, a type of jewelry making. I’m a retired grandma who loves helping with her grandkids.

  52. Hi Jo! I’m so glad you made the decision to focus on your blog and YouTube videos. Way back in 2011, I started following your blog as a result of a link from some other quilter’s blog. I don’t even remember who that person was and I obviously don’t still follow them, but I still follow you! I don’t even quilt that much anymore, but I always want to keep up with what’s happening in the Kramer household! I don’t comment often, but I love hearing about just about everything you do! I’ve prayed for you and your family whenever there was a health issue (and I’m praying now for sweet Gannon). Please stay just as you are and I’ll keep reading!

  53. We love you Jo and so many of us need someone like you in the real quilt world. I bet there are a lot more folks cutting from kitchen islands and other similar methods than you know. Not many of us have the resources for huge sewing rooms with all the bells and whistles. Most of us are just normal folks like you and your family trying to get our love of quilting on too with what we have to do that. I was taught to use sheets too as backings from back in the 70s and there is nothing at all wrong with that unless you are a fabric snob. We aren’t snobs! We are frugal, thrifty, and resourceful! You go, girl!

  54. Hi Jo, I found your videos and blog a few months ago and so glad I did. Your post resonated with me so much. I am a much happier person when I listen to that little voice that shouts encouragement to find my own way of doing things. I took up quilting a few years ago (I have been a knitter and spinner for years and sewn everything under the sun) but the content I was watching left me feeling lost. I didnt see myself in the constant promotion of fabric lines and notions. I respect that but I wanted to follow a different path. I found your videos and blog and feel at home. I have started thrifting and being more mindful. I did get the companion triange rulers (on sale with a coupon at Joanns) and look forward to using them with your help.
    I love reading about your family (prayers for your sweet Gannon) and our last two dogs have been rescues but we take the old ones no one wants. Our current dog is the sweetest and her love is just the best.
    Thank you for your candor and honesty Jo. I will be sitting right across the sewing table or the kitchen island next time you post a video.

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