Ask Jo: The Jerry Questions…

Every so often questions and comments come from readers that I think others would like to hear my response.  That’s when I feature them on the blog.  This is one of those days.

Kathleen wrote and asked:
You have been dating Jerry long enough that I have some Grandma questions for him. Who are his people? Where does he live? Where does he work and what does he do? How long has he worked there. How long has he had his dogs? What kinds of activities does he like? What is the first thing he liked about you?

That’s about as much as I’d ask my grand/great grand children’s boyfriends/girlfriends the first time. And I have a rule, I don’t “get to know” their friends until after six months. There’s too much turnover. Maybe you should do a Q/A on Jerry.”

I think you are right Kathleen…I should do a Q&A about Jerry. Before I jump into it, let me say, Jerry gave his permission for to write this.

Jerry grew up in the neighboring town to where I live. It’s about 20 minutes away. I can drive it in 17 minutes…Jerry takes more like 22. It’s a joke between the two of us as to who drives if we go somewhere. If we are in a hurry, I drive. If it’s a leisurely time, Jerry drives. HA!

Jerry has a two-bedroom house with garage space for three cars. He only has two vehicles though. Lawnmowers and other stuff take up the other stall.

Jerry grew up on a farm with three sisters and his parents. He lived a typical farm life with chores and the like. He did not catch the farming bug (thank goodness). One thing that Jerry and I have talked a lot about is that I am used to having more alone time to do my thing. When Kramer was living, I sometimes only saw him for 20 minutes during the day. He was harvesting or planting and during those times, there was no family time. I got used to living with an absent husband and entertaining myself. Then he passed away and that gave me even more time…and I am good at filling time. It is so different for me to have someone in my life who works 40 hours a week, is available, and wants to spend time with me.

Here’s Jerry’s high school graduation picture.

A funny coincidence is that Jerry’s sibling group all have names that start with “J”. My sibling group all have names that start with “J”.

Another fun fact, our parents share the same wedding anniversary but different years.

Jerry graduated in 1983…me in 1984. He is 15 months older than me. He went to the local community college to be a mason…but he never laid a brick professionally.

Jerry works at the hospital and has for almost 36 years. He lives across the street and walks to work. He does maintenance/housekeeping work. He works second shift. That’s another adjustment for both of us we are working on. I work ten-hour days which are all first shift hours. For three days of the week, there is no way for us to see each other… We both hate that.

Jerry was previously married…that was a 15 (or so) year marriage. He’s been single for about the same length of time. Jerry did always want kids but none came his way. He loves kids and family and appreciates any family time he gets. He’s a real natural at being a grandpa and my grandkids all like him. It was so special for me to see my husband being a dad. It’s equally, if not more special, to see Jerry with my grandkids. He doesn’t have to love them…he has no obligation to them at all but he takes them as a package deal with me…and loves them like his own.

I previously told you that Jerry had thyroid cancer. His was papillary which typically is a “better” thyroid cancer as it’s often treated once and is done. Jerry has been thyroid cancer-free for over 10 years. My cancer is follicular and that can sometimes be a bit more problematic. He’s super supportive of me and has offered to go to doctor trips with me.

Jerry likes sports. He is mostly and Iowa Hawkeyes fan but along likes the Oakland A’s, Minnesota Vikings, and Indiana Fever. I say that he like sports and really does but he’s not so die-hard that he can’t miss a game. He will record the games and sometimes he’ll watch them later and sometimes not.

Jerry has a great sense of humor and didn’t get mad when I sent him this saying I saw on Facebook. He does have an inability to keep track of his keys and wallet. But if that’s his worst quality, I’m good with it.

Jerry says the first thing he liked about me was my personality. We laugh and joke a lot. We went to the pizza farm a few weeks ago and no kidding, my belly hurt from laughing so much. Jerry has a great sense of humor. He’s super kind and considerate.

My daughter Kalissa is the one who set us up. She worked with Jerry at the hospital. When she was trying to set us up she wrote this note:
“His only fault that I can find, if I can find ANY thing is that he’s very squeaky clean nice. Like very polite.

Being we live in smalls towns, there are a lot of people that know Jerry that also know me. Yet we never crossed paths before. Anyone who has found out that we are dating always has nice things to say about him. It’s people who he respects and I also respect so I’m hoping they are all leading the two of us in a good direction.

The first thing that caught my attention about Jerry was his smile. He smiles with his whole face…and his eyes light up when he smiles too. Jerry is very affectionate in words and actions. This has been a little new to me but I love it. I missed out on that in my previous life.

Jerry will do and try things. He wasn’t much of a dancer before but we recently went to a wedding together and they had a dance following the reception. I love to dance…so Jerry danced. Not to only the slow songs either. Whenever I wanted to dance he would and actually enjoyed it.

Jerry is a dog lover and has two. Lassie is a rescue dog. I think Jerry said she was seven. Lulu the corgi in turning two. I like them both and they both like me. Lassie is the one that originally didn’t like me.

We aren’t a completely smooth-sailing couple. We are trying to navigate our work hours and our time apart. That’s been challenging to say the least. We’re trying to mesh the dogs and that has been going relatively well. We’ve had our first disagreement and made it through that. Jerry is great about talking about hard things and I appreciate that so much. We’re very much at a getting to know one another…but liking what we see.

Kathleen…If you met him, I’m sure you would give Jerry a stamp of approval. He’s a great guy and has been good to me.

25 thoughts on “Ask Jo: The Jerry Questions…”

  1. This really caught my eye: “Jerry is great about talking about hard things and I appreciate that so much.” In my (limited) experience, that is such a rare quality, and one to be treasured.

  2. I’m so happy for you to have met Jerry. He sounds like such a good person and the perfect fit for you.

    1. Jo & Jerry, you go!!! Enjoy your lives for as long as possible. The Lord does what He thinks is time fir everyone. He knows it is you time.

  3. Joy in NW Iowa

    Sounds like a great guy! You’ll get the time schedule figured out . You work three days, he works five? Well, you have four days that work together, right? Enjoy!

  4. I really loved the “background” check on Jerry. :-) It was nice to get to know him a bit better. Very happy for you – you deserve it.
    Love and prayers

  5. Thanks for the “Get to know Jerry” post! I’m so happy you two have found each other. He sound like a real gem !

  6. This is a wonderful post. What Kathleen asked and what you wrote really get to the heart of “getting better acquainted.” I’m so happy for you both!

  7. Vivian Wayland

    Jo, thank you for answering those questions and Kathleen thank you for asking. I’m assuming Kathleen is asking as if you are her own and praying you answer them truthfully. It sound like you get a 100% and so does Jerry! The grandkids and your children accepting him is a big deal too. Thank you for telling us about him! Welcome to our world Jerry! So very happy for both of you!

  8. So happy for you! I know the fact that my husband will discuss anything and is a good listener is a blessing. Also, we make each other laugh all the time, and I think that is what has kept us so close for 36 years. Looking forward to the next 36!

  9. This was such an interesting blog. Jerry sounds like a super guy and I think it is wonderful that you two are “dating” and having so much fun together. It is so good that he is very different from Kramer although Kramer was a jewel, too, in his own ways.

  10. Martha W in WY

    I’m glad that you have someone your own age to spend time with. Kids and grandkids are great but having someone your age is in a whole different ballpark. And Jerry makes you laugh….can life get any better?

  11. thanks to jerry for being open to letting readers of the blog be told about his life. some people don’t like that. it appears this is the time for the two of you, whether for a season or a long time. enjoy your time. i am happy for you both. patti in florida

  12. Jo, I am so happy for both of you! He sounds like a very nice person. You all have a lot in common. Just take your time and have fun. Hugs,

  13. elissa simmonds

    if jerry makes you happy and you make jerry happy there is nothing more to add especially as your family makes jerry happy and they make jerry happy
    hugs to you both from elissa in austraia

  14. Good questions and good answers! So happy for you and Jerry! So weird you have so much in common. It was meant to be!

  15. Janet in Iowa

    Making each other happy makes a good relationship. Being willing to try new things and join in, even better. Taking on the family and loving them, having hard conversations, willing to work together, priceless.

    I married a 34 year old bachelor, only child, never been around kids much and dumped him into my birth family of 5 children, my own two young children, my ex and his family, etc. It was rougher than you’re describing with Jerry, but we’ve been married almost 43 years. We worked opposite shifts, too – better for the kids, hard for us. And it wasn’t even normal work weeks where we both had weekends free.

    Wishing you both much happiness as you continue down the path of getting to know each other. I’m thrilled for you!

  16. Jo- all that matters is that Jerry is good to you and you like him. I’m happy that you’ve found someone who makes you happy. ❤️

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