Yesterday was my last day of childcare for a bit. What the word “bit” means, I don’t know. As of now I’m going with the school schedule and currently that means April 16th…but we all know how life is now. All of that is a moving target.
Over the weekend I had talked to my families after the announcement came that school was closing telling them that I would try to stay open and that I was releasing the clause in the contract that required them to pay for day that they missed of childcare. Part of that was selfish that didn’t want sick kids here…the other part was compassion. I didn’t want my families to be in a bind and have yet another thing to worry about.
Monday, I told them I was closing after my doctor reminded me of the risk I was taking being I was immunocompromised. At that time, I released the parents from their contracts telling them if they found care sooner, they were free to leave but I was closing on Thursday.
By the time Thursday rolled around, I had three kids here. It was a bittersweet day. I was so happy to have some days to myself, yet so sad over the circumstances that brought us here and so sad there were so many things with the kids that I could now be missing.
One girl is so close to potty training…I think I’m going to miss that. Kids have loose teeth. I’m going to miss that. There are so many things that I won’t be a part of….The childcare kids really do start to feel much like my grandkids. So..it was a sad day….I enjoy a quiet house over the weekends but I’m so afraid the house is going to get too quiet. The kids have been the best distraction for me over the last year…I know it sounds crazy but their chaos has kept me sane.
It’s uncharted territory for sure.
Speaking of uncharted territory….
I am supposed to be Lacrosse today.
I’m suppose to be getting the chest CT and PET scan that we scheduled a month ago. As events up the last few days have unfolded, I’ve wondered what would happen with these appointments.
Should I cancel them on my own? Should I wait and see what happens if the hospital cancels the appointments on their own?
I decided I would wait until Thursday and make a decision. With the way things were going, there was no use making a decision before then.
At about 10am I called over and was going to cancel my appointments. It turns out the receptionist said to me, thanks for calling. You were on our list of people to call and cancel appointments for. They are cancelling many appointments. She said as far as rescheduling, they are making no recommendations…they are making no appointments. Oh my.
So my cancer is on hold again. I’m okay with that. I really am. I’m not forgetting about it. I’m not pretending it’s not there. We let it wait for awhile over the winter and things were okay so hopefully we can let it wait for a little while and I’ll be okay again. At this point I almost feel like the COVID-19 is a bigger threat than my cancer. That’s likely naive of me but that’s how I am operating at this point.
So today begins my true “staying in days”. I’ve been in but I’ve been in with others coming in. First on the list, clean everything that I can…wash the napping blankets, clean the light switches and door handles, go through and resort toys.
After that, I’m moving onto a schedule. They say that it’s good to stay in a schedule and I’m going to do the best I can to make one….maybe not so much of a schedule as goals.
I want to include daily goals of
-a sewing goal
-a cleaning goal/project goal
-cross stitch time
So today here is what I’m up to.
-I am doing an inventory of my tops that need to be quilted. I am going to see what has backs and what needs backs. I’m going to make some plans for all of them.
-I am going to do the general cleaning today to rid the house of childcare related germs. I’m also changing the sheets on my bed…also dust for cobwebs.
-I am going to cross stitch for at least an hour.
-Put some audiobooks on hold
There is plenty more time in the day to load a quilt on the frame, sew some quilt blocks or do other stuff but I do want some goals so I feel like I accomplished something.
I so want to really make these days count. I want to enjoy my hobbies and catch up on the house. When it’s time to go back to work, I want to have no regrets on using my time wisely. What are you working on today?