Sometimes blogging is hard…I’ve talked about that some earlier this week. Comments, expectations, demands, finances, and time all come in to play…but sometimes life comes into play. I never know what’s appropriate to write about are some things too personal…where’s the line. Then I step back and remember much of this blogging started as a diary or journal of sorts for me. That’s where today’s post is taking me….on the personal side of things.
Tuesday morning our son Buck called me and told me that Jen had passed away. Well he has two Jen’s in his life….Jen his boss and Jen his ex-wife so I asked for clarification. He said Jen his ex-wife passed away in a car accident. I was shocked. WOW. 28 years old and gone.
Jen has been part of our life for awhile. Buck and Jen got a divorce in February of 2016. They had been married for 2 1/2 years and had dated about two years before they got married. She was a part of the family for a good chunk of time.
They both moved on from there…Buck with Lora and Jen had a new person in her life too. Both of them were happy with the change and moved on.
From time to time Buck would bump into someone from Jen’s family…it always went good. We never wished any bad for Jen.
We are dealing with such an awkward mix of feelings….knowing she wasn’t part of our family and then now not part of the living. I feel like we don’t have a right to mourn her as she wasn’t “our” family anymore but yet we do.
I’ve not dealt with divorce before this way. It’s new territory for me.
I do want to take a moment in all this and give a huge shout to Jen. When they told us they were getting married I asked them to think about what kind of quilt they’d like to make them. Jen, knowing little about quilting, told me that she knew I would ask so she did some looking on line at quilts. She wanted me to make “that wedding quilt with the two rings. Did I know what that quilt was?”
Oh my. Yes I knew. She wanted a double wedding ring quilt. I never dreamed that I’d be talented enough to make a double wedding ring quilt. But…being the soon to be mother in law, I didn’t want to disappoint my son or his soon to be wife. Then she asked for the non traditional colors of navy, white and gold. I was at a loss. I ended up tackling what I thought was the undo-able. I made the double wedding ring quilt. See?
I can’t thank her enough for giving me the gumption to try. I’m so glad I did it. She helped me get over a quilting hurdle.
I will always remember this as a happy moment…even though they didn’t stick together.
So today our family is thinking of her family. Hoping they have the strength to go through the hard mourning.