A Happy Momma

I’ve had some things hanging over my head that I’ve so wanted to get done…some NEEDED to get done.  Much of it is things I need help for…some I’d like help for.  I hate asking for help…but sometimes I need help.  I am sure all of you who are on your own completely understand.

Sunday started out with Karl and I cleaning up the garden….The squash that was ready was harvested.

Then we started to tackle this spot.  I know this doesn’t look like much right now…but to me, it looks AMAZING compared to what it did look like.

This is my garden.  I’ve not been the happiest with it ever since we moved.  The front where the arch is supposed to be flowers…the back, vegetable garden.  When we first moved here we had a spot dug out for garden and we just haphazardly threw the perennial flowers I in the ground in the front where the arch is….end of story.  I never really maintained them.  I never really did anything with them.  Grass and weeds grew in and it was a mess.

Fast forward to this year…I’ve fixed most of the other landscaping and this was next on the list.  It was so bad I decided it needed to be gutted and then fixed….so that was the job of the weekend.  A very kind blog reader had sent me a gift card to Home Depot and asked that I buy a tree in memory of Kramer.  Well…we live in town and there is only so much space for trees so I thought it might be appropriate to get some things for this garden spot.  It’s been a bit of a memorial garden for me as it is.  I have two plants in the garden that were originally from my parents home.  They have moved with me from place to place to place and now they rest here.  I have iris’ that have been gifted to me from special people in my life and they are in this garden as well.  I ended up getting Incrediball Hydrangeas for the back of the space.  I adore hydrangeas so I bought one with the gift card and 3 more to go along the back.  Then I bought two smaller Boho Hydrangeas.

With Karl’s help, we dug out all of the plants.  Then Karl mowed the weeds off (Yes there were that many) About then Buck and kids came.  Buck tilled the space up.  Then we planted the hydrangeas and the rest of the plants.  I ended up making the garden a little bigger than it was…more flowers, less vegetable garden so now I have room for more plants.  I’m going to wait until October 1st.  The local nursery that I love put all their plants on a DEEP discount as they don’t like wintering them over.  I’ll go buy six or so more plants and add them into the garden to fill things in a bit.  I’m so excited for this.  My current plan is to NOT mulch this and try to keep it weeded and nice.  I’d like to add in zinnias and a few other annuals but that’s harder to do if it’s not dirt ground…so…I’m back to trying to keep this space weed free.  Wish me luck.  To date I’ve not been good at that.  This is my last try though.  If I can’t keep it weeded then mulching it will be!!

While we worked, Lucy and Scotty played.  They were so good.

After the garden was mostly done, I decided I’d ask about the next thing I needed help with…the trees.  The city had put out a ruling that trees along roadways had to be trimmed so that vehicles traveling on the road would get scraped.  Well ours were too low.  Kramer knew it before he passed away but sick as he was, there was nothing he could do about it.  The fireman came and did a quick trim but they didn’t know that the tree on the property line to the south of us was our tree so they didn’t trim it.  Well…I asked Buck to do this.  Here he did a couple quick trims….

Then he moved to the other tree and did some MAJOR trims…see??That’s Buck in the tree and Karl on the ground.

In the end, the limb that he is posing on had to go.  He trimmed and trimmed with the hope that the limb could be saved…but it couldn’t.  It was reaching too far into the neighbor’s yard and being a nuisance for him.  It was best to be neighborly and cut it off.

Karl who hadn’t had any experience with a chainsaw, got a few lessons from big brother Buck and soon he was handling it on his own.

We ended up with a HUGE mess of limbs on the ground.   Thankfully the city lets us burn so that evening the boys burned it all.

While we worked, these two were sandbox bound.  Oh they put a lot of play time in at the sandbox.  It was fun getting a chance to hang out with just them.  So often when Buck and the kids come home, all the other kids come home and I don’t get time with just these guys.

Scotty was a good helper with picking up sticks….

Once the tree and the garden was as far as we could get it, Buck and I did something Kramer and I had put off for years…putting chicken wire in the trellis.

The bars on the trellis aren’t good for clematis’ to grow.  They are too far apart.  Kramer and I picked up the chicken wire from a garage sale when we first moved to town but never got it done.  Buck and I did!!

Later for supper the Friedman’s, Kelli and Georgia all came for supper.   Kelli brought me ditch flowers just like Kramer would have.

It turned out to be a nice day…a good day.

I can’t tell you how thankful I am to the boys for all the help.  It’s hard for me sometimes.  There is stuff here I know Kramer would want done and I feel duty bound that it get done, but I can’t do all myself.  Asking for help is truly the very hardest….especially when it’s asked of the kids and I know they are so busy with their own stuff.  So much of it is stuff I can’t hire done either.
I was in a bit of a slump as some of these things had built up and were bothersome to me.  Having these things done is a big weight lifted.  I can’t thank the kids enough…all this makes me one happy Momma.

14 thoughts on “A Happy Momma”

  1. Yes asking for help is one of the hardest things to do. I’m glad you got those tough things done and off your worry list. Now you can relax and work on the fun things. So happy you got to spend some one on two time with that set of grandkids. I’m sure fun was had by all.

    Love, hugs and prayers coming your way.

  2. You are indeed a fortunate Momma. Even though you don’t like to ask for help, at least you have someone
    you can ask. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Lynne Nicholson UK

    I’m often told off for not asking for help. I remember shifting my living room furniture round including a piano with wonky wheels and being told off by a couple of young missionaries from my church who I had over for dinner as they helped move the piano the last couple of feet. I explained it was all leg strength that moved the piano the previous ten feet

    That was when my children were young probably all under ten

    Now I’m having to learn to ask for help (due to losing most of my sight three years ago and other health challenges in the past nine years)… I find it extremely difficult as I used to see it as giving up my independence… now I choose to see it as complimenting my independence as I choose when to ask for help according to the situation. For instance last week I got a repeat prescription from across town, I got on a bus to get there, used my safe crossing spot to cross the road from the bus stop to the pharmacy. Having got the prescription I came out and someone was waiting to cross the road, so I asked if they would tell me when to cross safely so I didn’t have to walk one hundred yards out of my way to get to the safe crossing spot I use (a zebra crossing- do you have those in the USA? If you’ve seen the abbey road album cover by the Beatles they are walking across a zebra crossing) and then back to the bus stop opposite the pharmacy.

    I don’t like asking busy people for help & often my daughter will tell me off if I say I paid someone to help me out instead of asking her or my son-in-law, but like you I see how busy they are and don’t want to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

    I hope your garden is a pleasure for you.

  4. Jo, we’ve also had to mow weeds this year. Ugh. In Virginia if you don’t mulch you get weeds. My UFO for the month of August was a lot of weeding in the garden outside my kitchen window. Now I have some flowers to plant and 20 bags of mulch to go in there. Sometimes there just isn’t time at the “right” time of year but it gets done eventually! Love your garden! Hugs!

  5. What a blessing to have your kids so close. You and Kramer raised them well to understand family is so very important. And your grands are there to see it in action!
    Love and prayers

  6. nothing wrong with asking the help of grown children – consider all you gave them when they were growing up, it isn’t wrong to ask for help and if they give it that is great if they don’t there is something wrong with them!

    1. Lynne Nicholson UK

      Ooh I feel that’s a bit judgemental. Surely you didn’t always have time to help your parents when you had very young children… I know I couldn’t always help my mum when my children were growing up, my younger sister wasn’t in a position to help me out when her eldest was a baby and I needed a bit of help, even though I’d been in a position to help her with childcare when she went back to work a few months before.

      Health, time, other commitments (like work and child care) can mean though willing to help people cannot always actually help… I know when I had my three children at home and was raising them solo I could only help out if it was something I could do at home and the person could deliver and pick up (non-driver with very limited funds) so I looked after other people’s children in my home, on occasion but not often enough and I felt guilty when I couldn’t help.

      Currently I’m waiting for help with a project I cannot do alone, however I know how many commitments the person who has offered to help has, plus they are coming from a distance to help. I can either stew about it or I can get on with other things… what I won’t do is feel they owe me their time

  7. Mulching helps with the weeds and with moisture control. I’d mulch and keep an extra bag of the mulch around so you can fill in when you plant the annuals.

    I have many perennials. I wish I’d planted them so I could mow them in the fall. Pruning has gotten to be a chore.

    Helping you is so much easier for your children than buying you something. Enjoy.

  8. Oh! I know! I never ask for help either. I do get it all done..just takes a little extra time and effort! Enjoy your garden! It’s looking good!
    -Jean ❤

  9. Susan the Farm Quilter

    Your garden is looking wonderful. You are always the one to step out and offer help when anyone else needs it and now is the time to allow others that wonderful feeling of being a blessing and helping out their mom. It is all in your perspective! Have you ever tried Preen? It is a pre-emergent that you can use around plants that have already come up, but not around seeds you have planted. It is supposed to last 3 months…that gets you close to harvest time!! It may be easier than weeding if you don’t want to use mulch.

  10. It is hard to ask for help. My mom is going through this at the moment. More so now than when my dad passed away a few years ago. Age is catching up with her. Family is close by for you and for my mom. God Bless.

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