A Glimpse and Gone

On Monday night I took Ruby on a walk.  It’s easy when I’m walking to end up at the cemetery.  It’s only a turn from the path I usually walk…this day, I felt it appropriate to go.  It marked the three month mark.  Can Kramer really have been gone three months?  It can feel like months….It can feel like days.

I stopped by Kramer’s stone and then walked the length of the cemetery.  When visiting the cemetery it’s easy to see I’m not alone in grief.  At Kramer’s stone I see that Kelli must have been there and left wildflowers for Kramer.  I see decorated graves.  Someone out there is thinking of their loved one the way I think of Kramer.  I see the markers of some people I know.  I look to one and see she been a widow for a long time.  I do the math.  Her husband died when they had been married 30 years.  I get a little hope.  If she can do it, I can to.  She’s a great role model on how to be a widow.  Doing the math again, I can see that it will soon be 30 years she’s been without him.  I can’t image getting to that point in grief.

It’s hard not to be sad yet it’s easy to feel comforted.  So many of these stones represent someone who has passed but also a family who was left to mourn.  Often times, families who were left to mourn twice.  Once for the mother, once for the father.

Then there are stones of infants lost to early.  Does the mourning for that loss life ever end?  The stone from a teen, gone to soon.  How does a family not wonder “who he would have been”?

I don’t want to dwell too long.  It’s good to not feel alone..but I don’t want to drown in sorrow either.  There’s a fine balance.

About then I decide that I should probably get home.  There’s work for the living to do beyond grieving.

I turn and way to the end of the cemetery are two deer.  I think about the size of spring fawns.  I zoom the camera in the best I can and snap a picture.

Slowly I move off the main path and walk towards Kramer’s stone.  The deer stay watching me close….

Just then Momma deer comes and one obedient little one runs to Momma.  See?

The other..the rebel of the two, I’m sure, stares me down….me at Kramer’s grave…him on the path.

I hate to disturb him so I start circling wide and towards the gate, Ruby is on hyper alert and doesn’t want to go.  Just as am ready to go through the gate, Ruby get stubborn and turns back.  I turn back too.  The deer is still there….watching.  I pull my camera to take one more picture, I look down to adjust it, look up, and the deer is gone.

It was just one last glimpse and like that, he was gone.

Thanks for the visit is all I can think…and I take Ruby and walk home.

10 thoughts on “A Glimpse and Gone”

  1. That is so awesome to see the deer. I really like to visit cemeteries and study the stones of people of long ago. There is so much history in there.

  2. Judith Fairchild

    Such a wonderful lift during your walk. It doesn’t feel like you Kramer has been gone that long.
    My love has been gone almost 28 years sometimes it seems longer then other times it was just yesterday. Missing them is part of Love. Making a life without him is called living and loving.

  3. I like to go hike at a nearby state park. It always takes my breath away to round a bend in the trail and come face to face with a deer or two!

  4. Susan the Farm Quilter

    Beautiful, peaceful sight on your walk. Deer are so beautiful. Definitely a reminder that God is in control…may His blessings be upon you and yours.

  5. Dogs are family. Check Ruby’s food. If there is a red or yellow dye listed, dont buy it. We found that red dyes in food causes itching. We buy Nature’s Choice which has no red dye. It is more expensive but cheaper than Allergy pills. The foods with red dye are red in color, Pedigree especially. You want a neutral food for her. HOpe this helps. We have two dachshunds, one with itchy allergies so they both get the food. And a pit bull mix names Josie.

  6. My Instagram feed is a day behind for some reason. I just saw that American patchwork and quilting, all people quilt, is going to have another sew along using your quilt pattern! What a delight Jo! Congratulations!

  7. All this shows what a good job you’ve done in bringing up your kids. They’re helpful without being asked, and I bet there are few, if any, complaints. I’m sure it makes your grief over Kramer less difficult.

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