Wishing for Lawn Mowing Season

Here’s a little story for you.

In May of 1986 I was a junior in college.  Hubby and I had been dating a while.  College was two hours away from his place.  I was there every weekend.  We had dated long enough that we had planned that we’d get married the summer after I finished college.

Well I ended up pregnant.  We were using birth control.  Anyone remember “THE SPONGE”.  At the time is was the new form of birth control.  Well there is a reason that you don’t hear of it much anymore….it didn’t work!  I ended up pregnant while using it.  (I did look it up on the internet and it’s still available)  Back then I think it was 90% effective.  Back then I believed I’d never be the 10%.  Now I know better.

Anyway.  I knew I was pregnant and mid week, I decided to drive to Hubby’s place to tell him the news.  When I got there he was home battling the lawn mower.  The lawn desperately needed to be mowed and I interrupted him.  He came in a we talked.

We went from eloping to, a small wedding to a regular wedding.  He didn’t really take it all the best.  He didn’t profess his undying love.  He didn’t wrap me in his arms and tell me everything would be okay.  He didn’t drop to one knee and propose.  He really didn’t say much of anything.  At the time I was young.  Yes we knew each other but we didn’t KNOW each other like we did now.

We sat there silent.  Then he got up and went and mowed the lawn.  I was so mad.  He just left me sitting there.  He didn’t say a thing, just got up and left.  I wanted a plan.  I wanted action.  I wanted a date if we were going to get married.

I was a ticked that none of the imagined things happened.  He left me to MOW LAWN.

Image result for lawn mower

When the lawn was finally mowed I had stewed enough….I was so ticked that I even said I was fine to go and raise the baby (Kelli) myself.  He stopped his silence and said -no he wanted to get married.

Over the years I’ve teased him a million times about this.  Who leaves someone and just goes and mows the lawn.  Hubby does.  It’s his thinking time.  It’s his chance to think through the few options and pick one.  It’s his quiet time to access.  I know that now….33 years later.

So driving home from the doctor three weeks ago after we found out that he likely has lung cancer, I was full of questions.  He was kind of quiet.  I finally asked him what he thought.  His answer, “I wish I could just go mow lawn.”  I knew exactly what he meant.  Sadly, in Iowa…there’s no lawn to mow this time of year.

Later that night I did some things around the house and then went up to sew.  There was nothing more I could do that might be helpful and I needed to get away from it for a second and feel “normal”.  A half hour or so later Hubby came up for bed.  I went into the bedroom and apologized for ditching him and sewing instead.  He said, “That’s how you mow lawn.  It’s all okay.”

He’s right.  I do sew for therapy.  I’m so thankful we have all these years behind us and we both know each other so well.  Over these next months, I think we’re going to get to know each other a lot better.

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25 thoughts on “Wishing for Lawn Mowing Season

  1. Nell

    My very wise friend told me marriage is a rollercoaster—:) glad you can strap in and hang on for the ride. Know that you have lots of prayer and love surrounding you.

  2. Elle

    Sweet sweet sharing. When you went to “mow the lawn” Kramer had his thinking time so you both got it.

    God Bless You and hold you in His hands these next months.

  3. Anne Hersch

    I am so grateful that you can share your heart with people you don’t even know. You don’t know how much you are helping others by sharing your journey.

  4. Ana Sweet

    Totally lovely story. I am wishing your husband continued good news and speedy healing. The love he gets surrounded by his family will be the best medicine.

  5. Linda

    This is a memorable story and I totally get it. My husband is like that as well. He says very little and heads off to do wordworking to think. After 47 years, I still get frustrated with his silence but I sew or knit. We all need to ‘mow the lawn” before speaking or acting. If we don’t relationships go off the rails very quickly. Still praying for you at this time.

  6. Ellie

    Thanks for sharing a wonderful story! There is lots of wisdom here. Many are praying for you and Kramer and the rest of your lovely family.

  7. collee

    Wonderful story.
    I worry every where
    While showering I often find myself thinking of solutions to both my and the worlds problems.

  8. Pat

    Oh Jo, what a wonderful story. It literally brought me to tears.. When I get upset with my guy, I remember all the things he is good at, and why he really is a “keeper”. All the things he has done that he didn’t need to do, but did it because I asked him. Not too many people understand him, but I get it. He is not one to speak, but to keep things inside. I will keep you and Kramer in my prayers.

  9. Mary Burns

    Jo, I met you and Kelli a few years ago when Bonnie was in Olwein. You were so warm and friendly, I felt like if we lived closer we could be friends. Since then, I have followed your blog daily and have come to really care about you and your family. Thank you so much for being open and sharing your feelings about the type of things we all go through in life. Just know that I am here, thinking about you, concerned about you, and praying everyday for all of you.

  10. Candi

    Jo,

    Like others have said we all need time to “ mow lawn”. I think we all have a way to mow lawn but not everyone is wise to it.

    Praying for peace and comfort during this difficult time. Candi

  11. Judith Fairchild

    May you both always remember you are surrounded by the love of God , prayers and thoughts of all your blog readers and friends
    Thanks for sharing the lawn mowing story.

  12. Tonia

    So many have said it well-Jo, my guy is beginning to know you two as well for I am sharing your journey with him, because you tell it well. We have 50 years….and find that it is sweeter because “lawn mowing and quilt therapy” are mutually understood. we just didn’t have a name for it yet…..You folks have incorporated the story well in your lives. We pray for you, the girls and their families and Karl, for we know that this journey is a family affair. Thank you for trusting us with your lives.

  13. Aletha Tingey

    Ahhh….I LOVE this story!! What I love EVEN MORE is how you ALWAYS keep it SO REAL. And that’s the reason that I follow your blog every single day. I know I don’t comment much but I am always here watching and learning from your great example. THANK YOU!! You and Kramer are BOTH in my thoughts and prayers.

  14. Lori Sparks Douglas

    Jo and Roger,
    I always knew you loved each other! Love the story … you both will need to sew or mow the lawn on this journey. You are Kramerstrong and backed by lots of love. You will get threw this! One step at a time.

  15. Carla

    This post
    was one of your most eloquent that I have read. You two have certainly shown your kids a beautiful picture of a marriage. Still praying.

  16. Gloria

    Dear Jo & Roger,
    I’m among your DAILY blog readers, your close friends, etc. Your family could be the little sisters & brothers my son missed out on. Roger is … HAS TO BE … my hubby’s brother! I too learned that quiet time was important!!
    As we mow & sew we think, wonder, and pray for you, Roger, & all the family. Those new babies will be welcomed and loved, too.
    Your writing is worthy of publishing. From your heart to all who read your blog. Thank you!

    Gloria

  17. Kim LeMere

    I love this telling it “like it is”, keeping it real. May you both feel the love from all of us as we pray, keep you in out thoughts etc as you take this journey. Life is filled with “mow the lawn” episodes.
    Hugs!

  18. Darlynn Venne

    Jo, Jo, Jo….I am so happy for you. Yup, I am. Kramer loves you and you know this. How many people go through marriages unloved…really unloved…”I love you” may be said, but really, the words are hollow. Your man loves you and the life you have built. Through the rough times and the blessings, your marriage has come out on top. While this may sound less than appropriate at this time in your journey, I am happy for you and Kramer. May God bless you with many more years of exploring the real meaning of love and commitment. d

  19. Vicky

    Jo this brings tears to my eyes. I think most of us have a ritual we do like ”mow the lawn”. I used to have 2, I mowed the lawn and I sew. Too old to mow the yard anymore but I sew when I get the time. I don’t get as much time for that as like. Jo you, Roger and your whole family are in my prayers.

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