Still Loved and Still Missed

Today my mom would have been 90 years old.  I can’t imagine my mom old.  She was always young to me.

Mom
Even though she had gray hair she was never acted old for a moment.

Growing up Mom would always tease Dad saying he needed to have the corn picked by the time her birthday came on November 16th.  Sometimes he did…sometimes not.

As I get older I look I compare myself more and more to her.  She was 61 when she passed away…much too young.  I was 24…much too young to be without a mom too.

I wish there were more pictures of her but there really aren’t.  She was the one behind the camera when pictures were taken…and back then, people didn’t take pictures like they do now days.

I’m trying to think if there is a picture of her and I together…I don’t think there is.  Not even a baby picture.  Not even a picture at our wedding.  It’s a regret I really have.

People always comment that I’m always busy and never sitting down.  That came from my mom.  People comment on ability to speak out…that came from my mom and Kalissa has it too.  The routing for the underdog and charitable giving…my mom.  Starting to many projects…my mom.  Being not afraid to jump in with both feet…my mom.  Trying all sorts of crafty things..junking…thrifting…antiques…ALL MY MOM.

We would have had a blast doing all sorts of things if only she’d have been able to stick around a little longer.  She’d have loved seeing our kids grown…she’d have been thrilled with great grandchildren.  She’d have loved the internet.  She loved genealogy.  What she’d have done with something like Ancestry.com…Oh she’d have been thrilled.  One of her favorite things was looking at kids and trying to see which side of the family the kids looked like….There are a WHOLE lot more members in the family since she passed.  Of our kids, Karl and Kalissa both never met her.  The older three don’t remember much about her.

One of the things I am most thankful for that my mom did for us is this….  She grew up in an abusive home.  The abuse stopped there.  I am so thankful for that.  I’ve noticed that kids who suffer through abuse typically go one way or the the other…either they to are abusive or they stop it.  My mom stopped it.  That is one of the best legacies she left.

I can still hear my mom’s voice in my head:
“Use your head and save your feet”.
“Take that stuff on the stairs with you when you go up.”
“Sometime we get too busy and don’t take enough time with the little ones.”
“Put your mind to it.”

She died 28 years ago…in my heart, she still lives.

PDFPrint

21 thoughts on “Still Loved and Still Missed

  1. Lynn Dykstra

    One Christmas I made a point of taking a picture of my parents sitting with each of their nine grandchildren. At the time I thought this might be the last chance to do this, and it was.
    Those nine photographs are very precious to us.

  2. Lisa Marie

    What a beautiful post! I too lost my mom when I was in my 20’s and I also wish we had more photos of her. My son was the only one of her grandchildren she ever met and she thought he was the greatest thing EVER. He was just 2 when she died. Thanks for sharing your memories and making me remember some of my own.

  3. Helen

    Thanks for sharing! Especially your mom’s courage to stop the abuse. Wish mine had made that decision, too!

  4. diane

    Our moms are so precious and even more so after they leave this world. I believe your mom knows and sees each family member as they arrive in this world. But we still do miss them each and every day.

  5. Linda

    My mother would have been 90 in September of this year as well, she left us 25 years ago. I also miss her each and every day. Lots of memories but not many pictures.

  6. Marianne Barta

    So sorry about your Mom’s passing. I can totally relate as we lost our Mom when I was 18 years old, with 7 children at home. I try to pass along memories to our children and grandchildren — so important.

  7. Jocelyn

    We share a similar story. I lost my Mom when I was in my 20’s as well. She never knew her grandchildren. Her birthday would have been on the 13th of this month. She passed quickly from a heart attack. It’s something that never really goes away. Kind of like a wound that has healed over, but the scar is still there. I am blessed that I know I will see her again one day. It does give me peace.

  8. Judy Fox

    What a great tribute to your Mother. She sounds like a remarkable woman. What is the saying “the apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree”. She is in you midst, Jo and is proud of what she sees.

  9. Kim LeMere

    What a lovely post about your mom, I can hear my mom say: take the things on the stairs when you go up! My mom is still with us and 80, feeling grateful.

  10. Judy

    My mother died when my kids were young. I often think how she would have loved to have gotten to know my younger sister’s kids. She would have been so proud that they all graduated from college. She would have been so happy to meet the great grandchildren too. She would have spoiled them all! What we would all give for just one more day with her.

  11. Donna T

    Thanks for sharing. It is so hard to lose ones mom. I think about my mom daily and also remember things she would say! My mom was naturally funny but was the strongest person I knew! I so miss her humor!

  12. Jody

    We will have to chat later about my thoughts on this post…I loved her so much too and have thought about many of these things over the years, not unlike today through some tears. Beautiful tribute to Grandma.

  13. Tina

    Your mom and mine sound alike in so many ways! My mom passed when she was 61 and I was 28. You’re right – that’s much too young to die and much too young to lose a mother. Twenty-two years next month she’ll be gone and I still think of her all the time and miss her every day. You’re not alone! ((hugs))

  14. Doreen Micallef

    I too lost my mother at an early age I was only 9 yrs old. My dad remarried 3 yrs later. Life was never the same I just did not fit in with the marriage. I browse over the photos I have gathered and reminisce what life could have been if only she had not died. I am now 80 yrs old and a great grandma. I remember mostly the long months she wasted away with cancer. I have great hopes of seeing her again. John 5:28,29.

  15. Jo Post author

    Doreen…I have great hopes of seeing my mom again too. Isn’t it amazing the impact mom’s can have on us!!

  16. Deb

    We never get over the loss of our mother. I lost mine when I was 23 years old and she was 40, almost 41. It took me 7 years to ‘recover’ as it was the first death of someone I loved dearly. She wasn’t easy to love, and she wasn’t easy to live around, but she was my mother….and I look forward to the day when we are together again and we can TALK. I don’t have any pictures of just her and me, either — odd, but it was normal for that time period….

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *