A blog reader mentioned that I hadn’t said much about Neighbor Girl lately. She is right. I haven’t. Mainly because there is very little to say.
I don’t really see her much anymore. Oh, I guess that’s wrong. I do see her. She just doesn’t come over for the day like she used to. I see her walking down the street and wave.
I had told you earlier that there was a chance that three cousins, who were taken away from their mom, wound up in foster care and that Neighbor Girl’s older sister was trying to get custody of them..well it happened. A seven, twelve and fourteen year old are now living there with Neighbor Girl’s family.
During that process the oldest sister asked if I would care for the youngest cousin and I said no. I am already full with childcare kids. She wanted strange hours and at times wouldn’t pick up until 11:30pm. She doesn’t have a permanent schedule. Nope. I wasn’t up for that and honestly, I didn’t feel that her having the kids was really in anyone’s best interest. They all had been over here and the kids didn’t listen to her at all. I was already worried about Neighbor Girl.
Two weeks ago Kalissa and I took Carver and the dogs on a walk. Neighbor Girl and her 14 year old cousin were floating in the town river on an inner tube. The cousin was smoking….I’ve also seen the 12 year old cousin smoking. This is who Neighbor Girl spends all her time with now…they aren’t supervised or checked on.
A month or so ago I got a chance to talk to Neighbor Girl’s older brother. He’s in high school and was working to figure out how he could move out of the house. He didn’t think there was enough room for him at the house anymore. That about broke my heart. How hard to be 17 and feel like there isn’t room for you in your own home.
Neighbor Girl stopped by not too long ago. It was 10 in the morning on a Thursday. She was with her cousin. No one was awake at their house. She had a pair of shorts and a tank top with her. Both had a hole and she wanted me to patch them.
I, of course, did.
I think that my house isn’t fun for her anymore. Who would pick here where you have to follow rules and be accountable when you could run the town and do what you want? If a kid had a chance to hang with big kids who were “risky” enough to smoke, why would a person choose to be at my house that’s filled with childcare kids?
Kalissa was really worried that I would be upset with the turn of events…Hubby was really worried about me too…I think some of you blog readers were worried I was getting too attached too. I am okay. My house and heart are still very open and here for her when and if she comes around. In a heartbeat she could live with us on a permanent basis if needed as long as she’s willing to follow some rules. I made boundaries for myself from the beginning. I was doing things for her. I wasn’t doing any of this because I had an empty spot in me that I was trying to fill. My life is complete as is. I was trying to help fill needs she had not needs I had. That made this break much easier to take.
I miss her and want only the best for her. I’m scared for her. I’m scared for her family. I feel like more problems will be coming their way…but I don’t have the power to stop or change that. Sadly some things have to be learned the hard way…and eventually choices come back and bite us in the butt.
I’ll admit, I had so hoped she’d come over this summer and we could master flash cards and get ahead with her reading. It was summer where we could have made a difference but it didn’t happen and I frankly don’t think it will. I’m really sad that it is a lost summer….sad that she’s around people who don’t make smart choices and their choices will likely impact Neighbor Girl.
I have a hope that school will start again and somehow she’ll find her way back…who knows….and that’s the Neighbor Girl update.