Momma Bear

I’m having a bad case of Momma Bear happening.  I am so disappointed and frustrated in people.  Seriously, with things as they are why can’t people just be kind?

Here’s what happened:
Yesterday Kalissa had a bad day…well actually the whole weekend at the hospital was terrible.  She works at a small hospital.  The current events have already overwhelmed them…not with patients but decisions.  With news and events changing by the hour the nurses are getting jerked this way and that way.  Policies change by the day…even by the shift.  It’s stressful.  Kalissa had been working overnights and without me to watch the kids, it’s been a lot.  Her regular highschool sitter was exposed and is doing self quarantine.  A couple other highschool kids she would have normally called are already watching kids.  So…that’s put a big stress on her.

In the midst of all that, she wrote a blog post she has since deleted.  It was about the 11 things that are causing her a lot of stress and anxiety because of COVID-19.  She was having a bag day, anxiety had gotten the best of her, she didn’t “nice up” the post and wrote a very raw, with honest, at the moment feelings, post.

Several people wrote kind comments….then there is always that random person who is just can’t disagree but has to be, well lack of better words, an *ss.

One “educated” guy named Logan Smith DNP ranted and wrote a lot including this:
Your blog is riddled with utter disrespect for everyone around you, and air of “I’m better than everyone” and you can do no wrong. Until you learn respect, I can imagine you’ll be stuck right where you are. I would not want to be on your team, and you would not last long on my team. I will pray hard for your facility and team.

Oh my word dude, you woke Momma Bear.

I am not counting on any prayers from him..and I’m thinking if he would pray, they will not do any good anyway.  I can’t believe God would answer a prayer from anyone who talked like that…but what do I know.

After those comments Kalissa decided to delete the post.  She was having a bad day and didn’t want to deal with more.  She wrote a new post…..

Many people wrote nice comments…but then again, there was that one…

Joann wrote:


In your earlier (now deleted) post you stated that you couldn’t seem to put your phone down and was complaining about not having any “me” time. Also I believe you were complaining about being overwhelmed in the weeks prior to this pandemic. My earlier post suggested that you get away from the phone and focus on what’s important–your kids. I also suggested that you need to reevaluate your career choice if you’re finding yourself too stressed and panicked to do your job. And before I get attacked, no I’m not perfect. I have a husband and a daughter who has a weakened immune system. I chose to quit working to be with her which was quite a financial adjustment at first, but we recently paid off our mortgage on less than $20,000 a year income and receive no public assistance at all.

We are all entitled to free speech and if you want to call me names because of my opinions, that’s fine. I think you need to grow up and realize that the world is not perfect and it does not revolve around you.

OH MY WORD.  What is with people???

For the record Joann…it is VERY easy for people who are their house and putting themselves on quarantine to not feel the stress and anxiety that nurses on the front line are feeling.  YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR ENVIRONMENT.  Nurses cannot control their environment.

Here’s some things that have happened:
Kalissa was with a co-worker who had a cold that ended up later spiking a temp.  That co-worker is being tested.  Every time Kalissa coughs or sneezes, she wonders, did that co-worker have it?  Am I getting it?  When is the test result coming back?  How many days after I sat with her would be my day to have it?  Do I talk to my boss and tell her I might have been exposed?  YES…talk to boss:  Boss says big deal.  We don’t have staffing to allow you to self quarantine even if you should.  Kalissa then worries, does she have it?  Is she exposing others?  Is she part of the problem and not the solution.

That would give me anxiety….that would make me worry.  Joann and so many of us in our homes don’t have to worry about that.  People who are going to work worry about that every day.  Nurses worry about it more than anyone….and Joann, did you hear that if nurses do get it, they often have a more severe case?  Think about that Joann.

Kalissa has since put herself on the front line for me and her family.  She does the errands.  She goes to the grocery store.  She is the one exposed there too.

When she does go get her groceries for me, she doesn’t come into the house.  She stays outside.  I open the door and talk to her from the garage.  It’s not the same.  Yes we can talk but it’s not the same.  We’re close-we’re friends.  Kalissa has lost her support system…no me, no Kelli.  It must be nice for you Joann to have your daughter right close in your house with you. I’m sure that relieves a lot of stress you might otherwise have.

Kalissa went to get formula for Gannon.  Remember Gannon’s tummy issues.  They’ve asked him to stay on formula.  There is no formula to be had.  Joann, do you have that concern??  Do you wonder how you are going to feed your daughter?

Joann, are you working in a environment where policies and procedures are changing daily?  No…you admitted you aren’t working.  Imagine being a nurse.  One day they go in and they can change out protective equipment, the next day they go in and they can’t.  One day they go in and protocol for people who might have COVID-19 is this…the next day it changed.  The nurses are being jerked one way and the next.  No one knows what’s going on.  Every nurse working is afraid they are going to get it.  They are afraid they are taking it home.  They are afraid that might have to chose which of your immunocompromised family members will get the ventilator.  Joann, do you want her pick your husband or your daughter….which one are you willing to sacrifice?  She doesn’t want to make that decision for you Joann….but it might come to that.  Watch the news.  Look at Italy.  People are doing that.  Gee Joann, don’t you think that might be stressful?

Early last week the college Kalissa teaches for hadn’t decided what they were going to do.  After a night working overnight at the hospital, Kalissa was bombarded with questions from her students, what was going to happen with them?  Would they pass?  Did they have to take the class over?  The school was calling…everyone wanted something but she had nothing to give them….she had no information.  It was a nightmare….and she did that on no sleep because she had worked the overnight the night before.  How did you sleep that night Joann?

Joann, do you work a day shift and then the next day a night shift…then the next night a night shift….then miss a day and have to work a day shift the next day?  How would you feel if that was your schedule?

As for Kalissa saying she was on her phone, I think an explanation needs to go with that.  Kalissa and many people of her generation are in message groups.  Many people get news from their phone.  She wasn’t “scrolling to see what her friends were doing”.  She was looking to see reports from nurses in Italy.  She was seeing what other nurses from states with more COVID-19 patients were doing.  She is looking ahead, knowing that it’s coming this way.  She wanted to be more prepared.  I bet it we had a show of hands here, EVERYONE would admit to watching the news more, checking the DOW more, being on Facebook more and reading stories from people on the front line.  I know I am.  I know I do.

We are a village type family.  If someone needs something, we do it.  We are very supportive of each other.  With this, Kalissa doesn’t have me.  She doesn’t have Kelli.  She knows spring planting is just around the corner and knows Craig, being a farmer, won’t be around as much.  She’s struggling with childcare.

Previous to this all things were easier for Kalissa.  Her family regularly ate at our house once or twice a week.  I’d know she was having a tough day, I’d make supper…It was nice for her.  It was nice for me.  Kalissa is not getting that break anymore.

Kalissa used to have someone come and clean house every other week…that’s not happening anymore.

Kalissa used to have childcare provided by me, that’s not happening anymore.  So today after working three overnight shifts in a row, Kalissa came to find she had no sitter.  Her sitter had cancelled.  Craig had to go to work.  She wouldn’t let me help.  She went the day with the boys with no sleep.  She tried to nap with them but then they wouldn’t nap at the same time.  Joann…being you are home with your daughter, I bet you don’t stress about quality child care at all, do you? I bet you don’t have to take care of them with no sleep.

Kalissa is not getting any “me” time.  We all need “me” time.  I wonder how much “me” time you are getting Joann, as you stay at home in your virus controlled environment.  I bet LOTS.

I could go on…but why?  Either you’ve gotten my point by now Joann, or you will never get it.

As for Joann’s comment, “ I think you need to grow up and realize that the world is not perfect and it does not revolve around you.” …

Well that comment just blows me away.  I think Kalissa is plenty grown up….I’m guessing in the midst of all this, she’s well aware that the world is not perfect….and I think she has a clear picture of what it is revolving around.  It’s revolving around COVID-19.

So in this situation, I think a girl has a right to have a bad day.  I think a girl has a right to admit to anxiety and stress.  I think a girl has a right to write a blog post telling about her fears.  Mostly, I think a girl and her Momma Bear have the right to tell the Joann’s of the world this…

Image result for until you've walked in my shoes
P.S.  I apologize in advance to all the kind Joann’s out there.

…and by the way, this is typical of many of the nurses working the front line.

I realize in writing this, my words are also a judgment on Joann.  I don’t know her…I don’t know her situation.  I don’t know her values.  I don’t know anything about what brought her to her current situation.  It’s likely unfair of me.  I’m sorry for that.  It was a hard call on whether to write this and publish it.  I regularly write things and don’t publish them.  I choose to publish this because I really think others need to see what nurses are going through…the stress and anxiety is real.

57 thoughts on “Momma Bear

  1. Pam from CA

    Being a recently retired RN who worked in the hospital for 35 years, no one but a fellow RN, family member of an RN or friend of an RN really gets what we face everyday on the job much less in this COVID 19 crisis! I am sorry she had to experience the chastising of those who really don’t get it! I love the quote! She has my support!

  2. Carole

    I didn’t read Kalissa’s original post but couldn’t believe it when some felt the need to bring it up again and rehash their insensitive and rude comments. If they don’t agree with the blogger, move on. Quit reading their posts. Especially now try to be a little more understanding and a lot more kind. I Also have family who work in healthcare. Saw this recently and it says it all… “Anyone who’s still going to work because their job is considered essential should receive hazard pay.”

  3. Lace Faerie

    Right on, Mama Bear! Right on!

    If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. Isn’t that something taught in kindergarten?

    I can only imagine the worry and stress you are all under, being on the frontlines. My own children work in other areas considered essential: grocery supply house, grocery beverage supplier, food product manufacturing and banking. And I worry about who they are coming into contact with! They, too, are afraid of what they might bring home to their family or to us as we provide childcare for them.

    Please, let’s be kind. Be kind. One never knows what another soul is burdened with, many wounds are hidden, and many illnesses are not visible.

    Thank you to all who are not able to stay home and avoid contact with other people. To the doctors and nurses, to the post office staff and mail carriers, to the delivery men who are now working OT as more and more people shop online, I give them my most heartfelt thanks. I hope Logan and Joann take a moment to look around and realize how many people help others who are ill, or those who continue to do their jobs to make sure those of us who have holed up at home have the deliveries we need, so we can stay home in comfort and safety!

  4. Mandy

    As a person that has the greatest respect for medical staff that put their uniform on daily and go to work all that needs to be said is thank you. Thank you for putting yourself and family at risk to help everyones family, thank you for caring about others while worrying about your own. No matter what a few may say you all have the love and support of millions around the globe.

    I live in Australia so please say thankyou to your daughters

  5. Joy

    I’ve been reading your blog for a few years now and started reading Kalissa’s out of respect for you and because I thought she might give some insight on this pandemic. I’ll admit when I read her first post yesterday I was not impressed and honestly expected her to get some backlash from it.

    My question is how is rehashing all of this going to solve anything? Yes, Kalissa was offended. Yes, Joann was offended. Yes, you were offended and took up for your daughter. We’re in a time of crisis here! Let’s not play judge and jury because we do not have all the facts. Yes, Joann has the luxury of staying at home with her daughter, but she also mentioned her daughter has a weakened immune system. Do we know why her immune system is weakened? Cancer? Leukemia? Autoimmune disease? I know I’m not going to score any points by writing this post, but we know nothing about Joann or her life other than what she shared. We haven’t walked a mile in her shoes or lived a day of her life either. Maybe she was having a bad day too.

    I’m not saying her comments were necessary, but she does have the right to express her opinions the same as Kalissa does on her blog.

  6. Jean

    What a well said blog post, Jo! I read both of Kalissa’s blog posts yesterday, and as a retired RN, I sure know how crazy a “regular” day at the hospital can be, but can’t even begin to imagine what nurses are going through right now………I know my anxiety would be out of this world. I have admired Kalissa ever since I started reading her blog-she is a super nurse, super mom, super wife, super daughter……….just plain super woman! Don’t let the unhappy people get you down, Kalissa!!!!

  7. Donna Weeks

    Well said. Every word, perfect. If we don’t vent, Kalissa and you, the frustration will be detrimental to the ones we love so much, family. Every nurse, doctor, and medical field worker, EMT’s Rescue, are front line fighters just like our military who fight for our freedom. Medical staff are fighting for our lives.
    Your last quote was one that I would say many times a day when I was working, and even today. Until those who callously critize our lives and job, actually face our personal and professionall challenges, then need to exercise compassion and empathy. ( AKA Shut their mouths!!!) Funny thing is, these mouthy individuals, with rude opinions, would be the first to demand help!
    You family is strong, compassionate and dedicated. They have lived through more than most people have, and are a model for others to follow. Keep your family safe, strong and healthy. Keep posting, because your experiences and Kalissa’s humanizes the fight against the virus.

  8. Helen

    Maybe Joann has a right to her own opinion. BUT instead of attacking someone on their blog, just maybe she should write about it on her blog, instead. ( which gee golly is exactly what Jo did ). i can’t imagine the h*ll on earth the front line workers are going through with inadequate protection, and the insane hours.

  9. Edna

    For Jo and Kalissa, one of the things I love about the Kramer family is your “realness”. All of us have bad days, some of us are honest and admit it. You don’t need to apologize to me for being real. I read about eating humble pie, we all have to do that occaisionally. I quoted “Wild thing you make my heart sing” to a co-worker who wore an animal print dress, I had to apologize. We are not perfect, and neither are those who jump in with hobnailoed boots on to criticize us. One of the things I try to remember is that people speak out of what they are full of. Their words are really about themselves, not about those they address those words to. I pray that you continue to be real and true, and know that you are loved by many of us who find encouragement and humor and realness on your blogs.

  10. Pat

    Here is the bottom line;

    IF YOU CAN’T BE KIND, AT LEAST BE QUIET. This is a time when we should all be helping each other not condemning or being mean. Its crazy out there right now. Please tell your girls that there are people out here who appreciate the hard working nurses.

  11. Ellie

    As Edna has said ,”One of the things I love about the Kramer family is your realness! “ That’s what so many admire and why we continue to come back. I read Kalissa’s post and my heart ached for her. She is trying to do her best and feeling hampered at every turn. I hope with some time she can tune out those who aren’t supportive and realize they have some issues of their own. She is in a battle for all of us and the only thing in sight is that things will get worse!

    I’m glad you’ve written this post. People need to realize that a blogpost is only part of the story, no matter how heartfelt. Your quote at the end needs to be the first thing we all need to remember before we speak. Kindness and thoughtfulness cost nothing. Harsh word hurt.

  12. Carolyn Sands

    We all handle stress different ways and not everyone’s situation is the same. Until you are faced with fighting this disease head one, you need to find a way to be supportive and not critical. We all need to find ways to be kinder to each other. I refer to Joann’s response as one where she’s hiding behind the internet and most likely wouldn’t have the courage to face Kalissa directly, look her in the eye and speak those words. That ought to be the litmus test for our comments. Kalissa, you go girl and do the best you can based on your situation. Praying for you and those on the forefront of this fight every day! God bless,you.

  13. Jessie S.

    Way to go, Mama! You had every right to say what you did, and so does Kalissa! People are just as nasty with spouses of deployed military personnel and even veterans. I don’t get it. These people are putting their own lives on the line to help others, and that’s about as selfless an act as you can get. Personally, I’ll keep Kalissa in my prayers. She’s tough. And she is also human. Jo, you’re the kind of Mama Bear I wish I had. Keep it up, and keep being real.

  14. Kim Z

    Go mama bear go!!!
    I wish I lived in your community to help out your family, especially the nurses. I can’t imagine having a young family and juggling the responsibilities of a job that is essential and so very important, especially now. These girls need more support than ever both physical & mentally. That goes for anyone in the medical field. If they get sick & can’t go to work, I can’t do their job.

    The comments made by “what’s her name” not going to give her the power by mentioning her name are pure selfish. A person can share & give recommendations without judgment, she certainly didn’t. I could really go on & on but, not going to be a “what’s her name.”

    Stay strong ladies, you are appreciated and needed more than ever.

  15. Kim LeMere

    Jo, please don’t apologize for standing strong with your family. I follow both of your daughters blogs and I admire there work ethic, and there family stories just make me smile and recall my own days as a young working mom and wife. I have 2 sister in laws who are RN’s and we are living in a crazy time for medical personnel. I say thank you to both of them for stepping up and going into work each day and taking care of each patient. I like Pats comment, be Kind or be Quiet
    Hugs to all the Kramers, stay healthy and carry on

  16. Stearns Carol

    I can’t believe that a Blog reader would say such a thing to a person who writes a free blog. If she doesn’t agree, leave the blog. Blogs are meant to let us vent sometimes.

  17. Elle

    I am in tears for Kalissa. RN for 39 years, recently retired and feeling both relief and guilt about it. I cannot imagine the fear and frustration for Kalissa and her young family.

    Go Mama Bear Go!

    Love to you all!

    As for Joann, hope you are feeling proud of your smugness. As for tearing down a young RN/Mom as a DNP yourself? HOW DARE YOU!!!! When I was in school the RNs said “we eat our young”. I swore I would never…and I didn’t. YOU? Well, you appear to have a Doctorate in it. You should be ashamed of yourself. God help you. If you return to practice, I hope to shout you change your attitude and nurture our young. But it doesn’t appear you have that in you.

    God Bless the entire Kramer clan. KRAMER STRONG! :-)

  18. Helen A

    Even before COVID-19 I read Kalissa’s blog and wonder how she does it all. I can’t imagine the stress she’s under right now. I’m sorry those comments upset her. People shouldn’t judge over one blog post during an incredibly stressful time. I’ve read every post you’ve ever posted and all of Kalissa’s (except the one that she deleted as I didn’t see it prior to the delete) and I still don’t profess to know much about your day to day lives. Also FWIW I’ve always thought Kalissa was incredibly mature for her age and think she’s a great nurse and mom.

  19. Mary Ann Mettler

    Jo – all I can say is love and prayers for you all! These are indeed difficult times but God is good.

  20. Skipper

    Well said, Jo. Thank you for raising a family who are the givers in a self centered society. Be proud of your yourself and them! Your blog and Kalissa’s are a high point of my day.

  21. Andi

    Dear Jo,
    Kudos to you for standing up for your kids! My sister in law retired recently – a nurse her whole life, and they called her back to work, they need nurses so bad where she lives. And, even though she could have refused, she went back. That speaks volumes to me. People who become nurses are special people and they deserve all the support in the world. They are angels in disguise.
    Many hugs to you and your whole family!!

  22. JoAnna

    I’m sorry this happened. People can be so unkind. I’ve been a nurse (now NP) for 41 years. People just don’t get the everyday stress healthcare workers face nor do they understand how much worse this pandemic makes it. I’d venture to say that most of them wouldn’t work in this situation much less without adequate personal protective equipment.
    JoAnna in FL

  23. JoAnna

    People can be so unkind. I have been a nurse for 41 years ( 16 as a NP). I’m betting most of these people that are critical have no idea how difficult it is to be a nurse much less in a pandemic situation. Most would probably refuse to work in this situation – particularly if they did not have adequate personal protective equipment. It definitely takes a special person to be a nurse and to remain a nurse.
    JoAnna in FL

  24. JoAnn Hyde

    As a former nurse who worked in a hospital eons ago and more recently as a former Public Health Nurse who also helped with emergency preparedness I feel her pain. It is a very stressful time for our nurses and our doctors (and others who have to work in the medical field) and what they are told from day to day is conflicting. And being exposed is reason to be in quarantine so one is not spreading this virus. Yes I understand there is not enough help in the hospitals, but having someone who may be exposed or may be starting symptoms should not be at work so that they are not passing on to their coworkers or patients so that boss should be ashamed. And being able to vent is helpful. It is not helpful to come back with comments that can make a person feel worse. Everyone should put themselves in the others shoes who are on the front lines. It is scary times and yes we need to be nicer.

  25. Karen

    AMEN!!! My mom was a registered nurse so I have some idea. I work for a school and am very torn. Do I go in and help prepare meals and work for my students? If it’s just me, that’s probably a big yes, but if it also risks the 80+ year old and the children in my household then what choice should I make? Do I have a right to put them at risk? Don’t I have a moral obligation to do all I can for my students and co-workers? These people who have nothing better to do than criticize others when they have not “walked in their shoes” need to get a life and do something worthwhile with it. Life is too short to be mean and heartless!! You go Momma Bear!! Kalissa and all your kids are very, very lucky to have you!! And you have raised wonderful kids and should be very proud of yourselves! I know Kramer is! Take care!!

  26. Deb E

    Good for you!! Unfortunately we live in a world where others feel they have the RIGHT to make snarky, judgmental and rude comments — without any consideration as to how THEY would feel if they were “walking in that person’s shoes…”. Please tell Kalissa that many millions of us THANK HER from the bottom of our hearts for the selfless hours she works, caring for others who are sick, without a stable support system to back HER up. We’ll get through this and all I can say is I hope those who made rude comments come to their senses and apologize — OR — hopefully their phones break so they can’t do the same thing to someone else. If you can’t say something nice, DON’T say anything at all….it should be engraved on every phone!

  27. Carla

    Well said, you! I hope she reads it. Rest assured. We will cover Kalissa and Kelli with prayer!

  28. Judy

    You have every right to write this in defense of your daughter. I have a son and his girlfriend who both work in the ER and they talk often about how really rotten people can be. What has happened in this country that everyone thinks they have the right to tell people how to feel and how to think. Kalissa was just unloading from all the stress that she was feeling from an extremely stressful situation she is in constantly now. Miss holier than thou Joann needs to keep her opinions to herself and she owes Kalissa an apology that she probably will not get. Please tell Kalissa that the vast majoirity of people are so grateful and thankful for the medical people that are literally putting their lives on the line in this situation

  29. Kimberly Clark

    Joann needs to get real and get a life!!! Why on earth would anybody add to someone’s bad day!!! It’s ridiculous!!! I’d like to say to Joann, “Grow up and start to figure out how to bless people, rather than adding more grief to their stress! Have a heart for people!”

  30. Sonnie

    I’m praying for your sweet daughter . This is a very tough time for nurses. I’m the mother of one nurse and one therapist.
    I will also pray for Joann that she has a kind mind toward everyone.

  31. Judy

    You know, if you follow a blogger and don’t like something they said, click on UNSUBSCRIBE. I’ll don’t get people who leave nasty comments.

    You go Jo and Kalissa!J

  32. wendy

    Blessings to all the medical people out there! My DIL is a nurse and as medical staff they are an “army in the trenches”. We all have a right to rant over bad days, people need to respond in a good and uplifting way. Momma said….. If you can’t say anything nice…don’t say anything at all!

  33. Linda in NE

    Keepin’ it real Momma Bear! I can understand your worry and your daughters’ worries about the current situation. My daughter works in a medical setting at the front desk. She and the others at the front desk were told to wear masks to protect themselves….that is after the higher ups made that the policy after letting patients come up to the third floor, touching door handles, elevator buttons and who knows what else. No checks at the front door. My daughter-in-law is a CPA & it’s tax season. Our son passed away at the end of Jan. so she’s grieving and now the 6yr. old twins are home all day since schools are out for the year and she’s lost her main support person. Us grandparents are supposed to be looking out for ourselves and staying home. Yes it’s stressful for all concerned. People like Logan & Joann don’t help anything or anyone with their negative comments. Carry on Kramers, you’re Kramer Strong!!

  34. Judith Fairchild

    Momma Bear you are right on. I wish I could pack a bag and show up at Kalissa’s door. And say I’m here to stay till this is all over. I’m praying for all our “Essential Workers.!” The medical side especially as they are on the frontl ines they don’t need to be shot at from a sniper. Praying everyone and everything works out for you all.

  35. Katherine Gourley

    It is sad that Kallisa was bombarded with negative comments If people don’t like a blog they should take it off their feed and not read it. There is no reason for nastiness.

    We laugh about people buying 50 years worth of toilet paper, but when it comes to not being able to get formula for your child that is no laughing matter. Please let Kallisa that we are praying for her and hopefully she can buy formula on the internet, if not locally.

  36. Helen A

    “I realize in writing this, my words are also a judgment on Joann. I don’t know her…I don’t know her situation. I don’t know her values. I don’t know anything about what brought her to her current situation.”

    Honestly you do know something about people like this. I think we’ve all had issues in our lives where life has been hard at times. I know I have. And yet I’ve never felt the need to make harsh and unkind comments to someone like that. Have you? Think about that for a minute. Am I perfect? No, no I’m not. But I will say when someone tells me my behavior or words have hurt them in some way, even though it was unintentional, I apologize to that person. Also, I can’t even imagine making those types of comments to another person regardless of the current circumstances in my life at the time. (Sorry to post twice but the argument that we need to not be judgmental and think about what’s going on in the persons life to make these comments this has been bothering me all day. There’s not really an excuse for it. You don’t get a free card to be mean just because you may be going through something like everyone does from time to time).

  37. Belinda

    I work in an essential field. We are so stressed by the tremendous upheaval of everything around us. We want to take care of people and help them get their needs met. But the resources are not there. It is overwhelming. Everyday I am on the verge of letting someone know exactly how I feel, and it would not be pretty. So far I have been able to hold it in, but we all have our limits. Kalissa reached her limit. I understand and accept her feelings, and I am not even in the medical field. This post unleashed an overload of emotions for me and I am bawling. People are at risk, this is scary. Take care of each other, please.

  38. Lisa E

    Good words Jo. Praying for both of your daughter’s safety and peace in this “fluid,” ever changing crisis. New York asked retired doctors and nurses to return to work and over 30,000 responded per last evening’s news. A friend’s daughter was exposed to the virus and is isolating at home while working from home and caring for 2 teens, a 4-year-old and her husband. My friend is heartbroken that she is unable to take the kids during this time but they were already exposed so she is making dinner and delivering it to their door each day. We all need to be doing our part to be helpful and kind during this crisis. And allow bloggers on the front lines to vent!

  39. Peggy W.

    Joanne should try to work as a nurse in regular circumstances. That’s hard enough. But add to it this uncertainty of these days and I just can’t imagine. I am a retired RN and know whereof I speak, and I worked nights, so I know how that is, too. I remember when I was going through nursing school, thinking how hard it was. Well, nursing school was nothing compared to the real deal. Nursing is arguably the hardest job on the planet.
    If she doesn’t like what Kalissa had to say, why in the world is she even subscribed to her blog?

  40. Jackie

    Jo, I rarely comment, but had to today. You’re right to call out “Joann”. I totally understand the stress your daughters are feeling. No, I’m not a nurse, and as of last Friday, I’m working from home. But up until then, it’s been chaos. I work for a very large government agency and I manage 65 wonderful human beings. Trying to get them all set up to work from home last week was utter chaos. Just like Kalissa, one minute you’re told go do ABC. While you’re out doing it, an email comes in telling you plans have changed and now you’re doing XYZ. By Thursday the message was “get everyone out of the office now”. Regardless of whether they have work that can be done from home, whether they have a computer at home, whether they have internet. Not to mention anxiety over the virus, worrying about your kids and grandkids and parents and siblings. We’re all entitled to a little meltdown under the circumstances. Joann should take a deep breath and Try to be a little more understanding.

  41. Dana jnkovic

    Well said Momma Bear! I used to work for a medical specialist and I know what long hours he worked because he was dedicated to his patients and would go to great lengths to give them the best care he could. So, I am so sorry you are going thru this Kalissa and WELL DONE for being so selfless and a true medical professional.

  42. Colleen

    Hugs for you and Kalissa and your family. Im an elementary librarian missing all 600 of her kids. I’m the sister of a nurse struggling Coordinating patient care from home with two under 4 while her husband works in hospital admin every day. I’m not allowed to be with my parents and self isolated my self Because of my health issues. People in not in healthcare don’t get it. Stay strong!

  43. Nan V.

    I agree with Pat’s comment — if you can’t be kind, at least be quiet. Or my mom’s old-fashioned version — if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything. How does it help anyone to snipe at someone else?

    I appreciate the candid nature of your blog, and of your daughter’s blog. I wish I could just give both of you a big hug today.

  44. Susan the Farm Quilter

    Thanks, Jo!! I feel so much better!! I went and had my “free speech” with J and some other idiot, vented my spleen, apologized to Kalissa for language, and freed my mama bear, just a little bit. People are so rude when they hide behind their computers and know they can remain relatively unknown. I’m sorry both you and Kalissa had to deal with those stunted people.

  45. bre da

    even if joann did not finish reading what you had to say, it was quite informative. A really good read and hopefully the sharing on facebook will help a lot of folks know what it is all about.

  46. Janet R

    Go, Mama Bear! The health Care staff putting their families on the line are to be appreciated, not berated. My daughter is an NP who is dealing with many of the same things. You can bet if I was hearing those kinds of comments about her, my mama bear would come out, too. Kalissa may not have worded things well, but she is human and under a great deal of stress. I’m very thankful for the nurses, doctors, and other occupations on the front line serving our communities.

  47. Sandra Davidson

    Good for you Mama Bear, I don’t understand people who do that , I am a retired nurse and can understand how hard your daughter works on very little sleep. God Bless both of your daughters for all they do in this most difficult time. It is a very crazy world right now and every day is a challenge so we should be kind to all. Your friend in Canada Sandra

  48. Becky G in SC

    My daughter is also a nurse. She knows each day that she works she may be called into the ER, or any other room, and be faced with the virus. She knows medical supplies have been reduced drastically. She knows I have severe asthma. She has been buying groceries for us and has heard comments of hoarding. I feel for you, Mama Bear, and I understand your issues. Folks/readers, too many of YOU need to grow up – not this Mama Bear nor her nurse daughters! These quarantined readers have entirely too much time on their hands and they need to shut up if they cannot be encouraging! Sorry for my rant but I feel for your girls and understand the anxiety they are suffering. Prayers for ALL of our necessary responders every day!

  49. Debbee_Aus

    Hi Jo, so sorry Kalissa had to put up with the pettiness of small minded folk when she was calling out for support not criticism. There is a nice piece on facebook about “ït being OK to not be OK” the link is: https://el2.convertkit-mail.com/c/8kukp4n7n0aohq4vmruk/0vuwhgukq7qqp0/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZmFjZWJvb2suY29tL2ZpbGxpbmd0aGVqYXJzL3Bvc3RzLzI3MjYxOTk3MjQwOTk3MTA=

    Please have a look and pass it on to Kalissa and Kelli if you think it will help. Prayers for the safety of ALL first line responders every day wherever they are in the world.

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