Ask Jo: Babies and Such

Every now and then blog readers send me a email or leave a comment in the comment section that I need to answer.  When I think other readers might be interested too, I answer them here on the blog. Today is one of those days…

From Susan the Farm Quilter:
How fun to have grands born so close together!! Congratulations on the grands and that moms and babies are doing well. Will you be able to take care of them both, like you do Carver??

Gannon will start childcare here at my house on March 19th….

it will only be two days a week for about six weeks.  Kalissa is on maternity leave from the hospital but she is also a clinical nursing instructor.  That job starts back up on the 19th but it’s only two days a week.


She’ll go back to her hospital job mid May.  Then Gannon will be here and come on the same days Carver does.

Georgia will be here… on Fridays.

I would LOVE to have full time but it’s not really feasible.  Kelli lives a half hour east of me.  Where she works is about 20 minutes north of her.  It would be too much commute time for Georgia to be here full time.  I will do all back up care and we’ve figured out a way for her to come once a week, either Fridays or Thursday when my schedule of kids is a little bit lighter.

If I had my way and life allowed it I would have ALL of my grandkids ALL of the days they needed childcare.  Scotty and Lucy live an hour and 45 minutes south of me so sadly, I don’t see them nearly as much.  I’m hoping they are big enough that I can have them more over the summer.

The next question comes from Lisa B:
I like the nickname Gigi. I’m just realizing, in our area when a daughter or daughter-in-law is in the hospital having the baby, family gathers at the hospital in anticipation. Especially the moms are there. That doesn’t seem to be something that’s so common in your area. I think I like giving the parents the time alone initially to bond with the baby.

First off Gigi….Kelli thought of that as a nickname when she picked out the name.  We’ll see what sticks.  Right now she’s already been dubbed “Sweet Pea” by Kelli…and now it’s already changed to “Punky”.

As far as families gathering in the hospital.  I think some people in our area likely do that.  We are not that family.  I decided long ago from the very first that a birth is the start of the three (if it’s the first) person family.  The family is a nucleus.  I although I love them all dearly, am not part of that inner nucleus.  I certainly am part of the area closely surrounding but not the nucleus.  The family needs to bond.  The family needs to start out this journey that they are taking together.  If I was there, Kelli would be more likely to ask me do something rather than Jason.

Here’s an example:
Kelli needed to take a shower yesterday.  Georgia was in the room….Jason was in the room.  It was Jason’s first chance to be alone with her.  He needs that WAY more than I do.  My time will come.  It’s his time now.  It’s WAY more important that he learns here quirks and be comfortable with her than it is for me to.  He is her Dad.  I am the grandma.  Dads are WAY more important than Grandmas.

I understand that other families do things differently.  I understand that I am likely not the norm….but this is something I feel really strongly about.  I’m sure other families have their reason to be there and I honor their tradition and opinions.

Should something happen and I’m needed, I’d be there in a second.  But so far, I’ve never been needed.

We do make every effort to see them in the hospital the next day…or on the evening of the birth.

Another side note on why we don’t gather as the birth is happening….Two of our daughters are nurses.  Neither in OB, but still nurses…they often say that they have more trouble with the visitors than they do the patients.  I want all of the nurse’s concentration to be on my family…not me.

As I said…I do understand why others feel differently on the subject.  It’s also hard as some of this is dictated by the pregnant mother and we have to do what we have to do to appease a mother.  I was upfront with our kids from the beginning saying I felt it was most important for them to start out parenting together…not with me as an onlooker.

That sums up today’s installment of “Ask Jo”.  Feel free to send questions my way anytime through the comment section or email me at rogjok@iowatelelcom.net.